Author Topic: Would this upset you?  (Read 2424 times)

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sammycat

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Re: Would this upset you?
« Reply #15 on: February 04, 2013, 05:51:14 PM »
I'd pretend like I never saw the post, plausible deniability and all.  When/if they ask why I never called/reacted/cared, I'd tell them that if they want me to know something/care, they need to tell me directly.  I think you're spot on with the mutual indifference.  If they can't be bothered to tell me, I won't go out of my way to show I care.  Once they tell me directly, however, I will react appropriately.

My thoughts too.


diesel_darlin

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Re: Would this upset you?
« Reply #16 on: February 04, 2013, 06:13:33 PM »
I wouldnt like that either. While WillyNilly has a point, I still think that news like this is better reserved for phone calls.

It drives me batty when someone has some sort of big news and when I havent heard about/seen it, they are all shocked "But I put it on Facebook!"

Yeah, but that doesnt mean I saw it.  >:(

kitchcat

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Re: Would this upset you?
« Reply #17 on: February 04, 2013, 10:12:55 PM »
Well ho often is your DH calling them and asking about stuff?  I mean you found out about SIL's wedding a month later... does that mean you DH had called during the month of silence and said 'so anything new?" and got told "nah, same old, same old..." or does it mean your DH is so far out of touch with his family that he'd went months without speaking with them?  Same with the baby - did he know she was pregnant?  If so, was he calling 3 weeks before the baby was due "hey its getting close now!" or was the total pregnancy a surprise? And if it was does that mean he hadn't called her is 9 months either?

Why is it all on them to call him and tell him and not on him at all to pick up his phone and ask how their lives are?

Don't get me wrong - I don't call my brother, and he doesn't call me - I think that kind of relationship is perfectly acceptable.  But I certainly am not complaining that my brother isn't calling me with news, as I have no desire to start being obligated to call him - because it is absolutely a two way street.

DH does try to call them every few weeks, but most of the times FIL doesn't answer the phone. Apparently he's always been bad about that. They do keep in touch through FB messages (which are private) on a regular basis, so I'm not sure why FIL doesn't even send a FB message to let DH know if something important has happened.

SIL and DH text each other fairly frequently, maybe a few times a week. We did find out when she learned was pregnant (via FB of course) about 5 months ago. She was not married at the time (she had only been with the father for a few months at the time). She got married after that, despite saying she had no plans to. So we had no heads up to that either.

So, DH does stay in contact (or tries to anyway), but FIL and SIL seem to like making surprise public announcements.
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jedikaiti

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Re: Would this upset you?
« Reply #18 on: February 04, 2013, 10:35:50 PM »
I wouldnt like that either. While WillyNilly has a point, I still think that news like this is better reserved for phone calls.

It drives me batty when someone has some sort of big news and when I havent heard about/seen it, they are all shocked "But I put it on Facebook!"

Yeah, but that doesnt mean I saw it.  >:(

Yea... FB's news feed isn't all that reliable (every time I think I have it set to show me things in chronological order, it ends up getting reset back to what FB "thinks" is important - so I miss that a good friend's kid is in the hospital, but I know exactly how many blueberry pancakes an ex-classmate from HS who I'm barely in contact with had for brekkie!), and even when it is displaying in proper order, it doesn't mean that someone else hasn't flooded my page with the latest Kim whats-her-bucket news, or spammed with cute kid pics, and thus I missed a bunch of earlier posts.
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diesel_darlin

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Re: Would this upset you?
« Reply #19 on: February 04, 2013, 11:59:33 PM »
I wouldnt like that either. While WillyNilly has a point, I still think that news like this is better reserved for phone calls.

It drives me batty when someone has some sort of big news and when I havent heard about/seen it, they are all shocked "But I put it on Facebook!"

Yeah, but that doesnt mean I saw it.  >:(

Yea... FB's news feed isn't all that reliable (every time I think I have it set to show me things in chronological order, it ends up getting reset back to what FB "thinks" is important - so I miss that a good friend's kid is in the hospital, but I know exactly how many blueberry pancakes an ex-classmate from HS who I'm barely in contact with had for brekkie!), and even when it is displaying in proper order, it doesn't mean that someone else hasn't flooded my page with the latest Kim whats-her-bucket news, or spammed with cute kid pics, and thus I missed a bunch of earlier posts.


Exactly.

KarenK

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Re: Would this upset you?
« Reply #20 on: February 05, 2013, 10:31:21 AM »
I wouldnt like that either. While WillyNilly has a point, I still think that news like this is better reserved for phone calls.

It drives me batty when someone has some sort of big news and when I havent heard about/seen it, they are all shocked "But I put it on Facebook!"

Yeah, but that doesnt mean I saw it.  >:(

Yea... FB's news feed isn't all that reliable (every time I think I have it set to show me things in chronological order, it ends up getting reset back to what FB "thinks" is important - so I miss that a good friend's kid is in the hospital, but I know exactly how many blueberry pancakes an ex-classmate from HS who I'm barely in contact with had for brekkie!), and even when it is displaying in proper order, it doesn't mean that someone else hasn't flooded my page with the latest Kim whats-her-bucket news, or spammed with cute kid pics, and thus I missed a bunch of earlier posts.


Exactly.

So this. If some of my friends have been particularly active, stuff will get shoved right out of my newsfeed.

In the interest of full disclosure, I did tell my family that I had gotten married via Facebook, but I did it by private message, knowing that they would be sure to see it.

NotTheNarcissist

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Re: Would this upset you?
« Reply #21 on: February 05, 2013, 04:21:25 PM »
My Dad does this. Yes it hurts my feelings. Not much I can do about it. He's not a touchy-feely person & I think for him it's just a way to tell a bunch of people at once.