Mindy McCready's ex-fiance speaks

[Sharnita]

I don't think Dean did anything wrong. I don't like it when people who have died are turned into different people altogether in the memories of those who lived them. Especially in cases of suicide, I don't grasp the desire to honor the person or look for a reason for the senseless decision. I think it's really harmful because it sends the message that there was a justifiable reason, if only we look hard enough and long enough. I also think "honoring" people who commit suicide sends an awful message of " here is a way to get people to notice you and say nice things about you."

Who was "honoring" Mindy McCready, and who was "honoring" suicide?   Certainly not Dean McCain.

The issue is "Is it okay to give an interview and trash someone who just died that you had a relationship with 15 yrs ago?"

I think TurtleDove means that there is a tendency of sanitizing people after they have passed away.  I have seen this myself.  Students who died while committing armed robbery remebered as great kids, posters made in their honor, etc.  Mindy's actions while alive hurt a lot of people and her suicide unquestionably caused pain as well.  I think that TurleDove feels that there is no need to to "protect" her from that reality or to soft sell that reality of suicide in general.  I imagine some people feel  that Mr. Cain's statement simply reflects the honest reality of all of that.

[oceanus]

Sharnita, TurtleDove expressed herself quite clearly.  I don't think interpretation is needed (at least, not for me).  She has her opinion, and I understand what she meant.

[Sharnita]

Then why did you ask clarifying questions?

[TurtleDove]

I think TurtleDove means that there is a tendency of sanitizing people after they have passed away.  I have seen this myself.  Students who died while committing armed robbery remebered as great kids, posters made in their honor, etc.  Mindy's actions while alive hurt a lot of people and her suicide unquestionably caused pain as well.  I think that TurleDove feels that there is no need to to "protect" her from that reality or to soft sell that reality of suicide in general.  I imagine some people feel  that Mr. Cain's statement simply reflects the honest reality of all of that.

Sharnita, yes, exactly.  Thank you for stating this so well.

[oceanus]

I directed a question to TurtleDove asking who was honoring Mindy McCready and who was honoring suicide.  I asked because I didn't see/haven't seen or heard that anyone is doing that and I was curious.

[TurtleDove]

Who was "honoring" Mindy McCready, and who was "honoring" suicide?  

The issue is "Is it okay to give an interview trashing someone who just died that you had a relationship with 15 yrs ago?"

I don't think Dean trashed Mindy.  I think he was honest about his interaction with her.  I find that refreshing and healthy. As I pointed out upthread, he shows much caring about her children.  I believe that sugarcoating the reality of what someone who commits suicide was and did is quite harmful.  My issue is with the idea that only good things can be said about someone who kills herself.  I find that troubling and counterproductive.

[*inviteseller]

It may have been 15 yrs, and maybe he should have used the 'if you don't have anything nice to say..." rule, but if you have ever been truly hurt by someone in life, I don't feel you should sugar coat it in death.  What he said wasn't trashing her, but expressing his true feelings.  And, I don't really follow celebrity news too closely, but as a country music fan, I do vaguely remember her trashing him after the breakup  and saying some really vile things. 
And Sharnita, I agree 100 % with how people some how are absolved in death, even in the case of celebrities, they are put up as some golden idol because they went 'too soon', and that saddens me because it doesn't teach future generations other than you can take all the drugs you want but as long as you sing or act, it is ok, and when you finally kills yourself by OD or suicide, you will be a bigger hero.  To me, his words were kind of refreshing because everyone was gushing about her in the media, and he just stated the truth.

[TurtleDove]

Perfectly stated, *inviteseller.