Author Topic: Funeral pictures on your Timeline  (Read 10209 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #90 on: February 12, 2013, 07:04:32 PM »
It would bother me, and I have a collection of Victorian postmortems, so I'm not super-squeamish. But on a site like FB? I wouldn't like it.

I am also a Victorian postmortem photography collector. However, I do not like open casket funerals.

DottyG

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #91 on: February 12, 2013, 07:25:10 PM »
Quote
I assume you mean kittens, not coffin pics...

Well, yeah.  Watching a live feed of a coffin would be pretty boring! :D  Although, maybe I'd get to see some kind of zombie rising or something interesting.


RingTailedLemur

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #92 on: February 13, 2013, 02:19:03 AM »
To go honest I don't even know the answers to posts #88 and #89 because just isn't something I ever thought anyone would think was okay.  It just seems so bizarre.

It just seems really rude and wrong to me.  You don't have to agree with me and I don't have to agree with you.  That's okay, I think we will just have to agree to disagree and I will just have to hope my US-based FB friends don't post pictures of open caskets on their pages.  *shrug*

Sharnita

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #93 on: February 13, 2013, 07:12:33 AM »
It kind of shocks me that it seems all that shocking.  I mean, Lenin's body was on diplay for how many decades?  And millions and millions of visitors have dleiberately viewed it?  I doubt they were all or een mostly American.  I don't think this is quite s exclusively American as you are telling yourself it is.

RingTailedLemur

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #94 on: February 13, 2013, 07:14:44 AM »
I have only heard of it happening in the US.  Please do not presume to tell me what I am "telling myself".  I think it is distasteful and odd (including the Lenin thing), other people don't.  Fine.

Sharnita

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #95 on: February 13, 2013, 07:18:45 AM »
I have only heard of it happening in the US.  Please do not presume to tell me what I am "telling myself".  I think it is distasteful and odd (including the Lenin thing), other people don't.  Fine.

The thing is - millions and millions of people have disagreed over many decades.  Considering that during some of that time American visitors to see Lenin were nonexistant (and the fact that it wasn't Americans who had Lenin displayed in the first place) your premise that it is an American thing and that it is a standard that you can count on just about everybody to share seems somewhat faulty.

RingTailedLemur

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #96 on: February 13, 2013, 07:35:13 AM »
I have only heard of it happening in the US.  Please do not presume to tell me what I am "telling myself".  I think it is distasteful and odd (including the Lenin thing), other people don't.  Fine.

The thing is - millions and millions of people have disagreed over many decades.  Considering that during some of that time American visitors to see Lenin were nonexistant (and the fact that it wasn't Americans who had Lenin displayed in the first place) your premise that it is an American thing and that it is a standard that you can count on just about everybody to share seems somewhat faulty.

I feel like you are attacking me for reporting my own experience.

I never said it was an exclusively American thing, but that I have only heard of it happening in America.

I am not saying I have standards I expect everyone to share.  I am saying how I feel.  The OP asked for opinions on the matter and I gave mine, but it feels like I am now not allowed to.  I have repeatedly said I don't expect others to agree with my opinion.

If other people think posting funeral pictures are okay, then fine.  I don't.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2013, 07:42:38 AM by RingTailedLemur »

Amava

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #97 on: February 13, 2013, 07:48:30 AM »
Though I personally don't have a problem with it, it is certainly something /foreign/ to me as well.
Open casket funerals are not common here, either. (Belgium)
Also we don't embalm. I was rather shocked myself when a while ago I read somewhere on the internet that "not embalming bodies" was seen as quite disgusting and foreign by /others/!
Cultural differences are fun.  :D I could go on about them. But that would be beyond the scope of this thread.

I do remember when I was little, my best friends mother took pics of a deceased uncle during visitation. That was rather uncommon but friend's mother worked in photography.
There existed no Facebook yet then, so I don't know whether she would post such pictures on her timeline if that happened now.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #98 on: February 13, 2013, 10:42:29 AM »
I have only heard of it happening in the US.  Please do not presume to tell me what I am "telling myself".  I think it is distasteful and odd (including the Lenin thing), other people don't.  Fine.

The thing is - millions and millions of people have disagreed over many decades.  Considering that during some of that time American visitors to see Lenin were nonexistant (and the fact that it wasn't Americans who had Lenin displayed in the first place) your premise that it is an American thing and that it is a standard that you can count on just about everybody to share seems somewhat faulty.

I feel like you are attacking me for reporting my own experience.

I never said it was an exclusively American thing, but that I have only heard of it happening in America.

I am not saying I have standards I expect everyone to share.  I am saying how I feel.  The OP asked for opinions on the matter and I gave mine, but it feels like I am now not allowed to.  I have repeatedly said I don't expect others to agree with my opinion.

If other people think posting funeral pictures are okay, then fine.  I don't.

Ringtail, I agree that it does seem like you are being attacked for your opinion.  As a US citizen, I have been to many, many open casket funerals. Out of the 20 plus funerals I've attended, only 1 was closed casket. But even then, it is up to the person attending whether they want to go up and view the deceased. In my personal experience of dealing with the death of family members over the last 40 years, I have only ever seen one photo taken of a deceased person in a coffin. I'm sure it is more common than that, but I would have been my assumption that they'd only be shared with very close relatives or friends.

Seeing a photo in my newsfeed of a corpse in a coffin would be very suprising to me. I don't think posting it is rude.  But it would make me think "Why would you do that?"  I'd have the same reaction if I walked into a freind's home and had a the same photo framed and sitting on their mantel.  Their home, their choice, but why?

bah12

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #99 on: February 13, 2013, 10:59:24 AM »
I have only heard of it happening in the US.  Please do not presume to tell me what I am "telling myself".  I think it is distasteful and odd (including the Lenin thing), other people don't.  Fine.

The thing is - millions and millions of people have disagreed over many decades.  Considering that during some of that time American visitors to see Lenin were nonexistant (and the fact that it wasn't Americans who had Lenin displayed in the first place) your premise that it is an American thing and that it is a standard that you can count on just about everybody to share seems somewhat faulty.

I feel like you are attacking me for reporting my own experience.

I never said it was an exclusively American thing, but that I have only heard of it happening in America.

I am not saying I have standards I expect everyone to share.  I am saying how I feel.  The OP asked for opinions on the matter and I gave mine, but it feels like I am now not allowed to.  I have repeatedly said I don't expect others to agree with my opinion.

If other people think posting funeral pictures are okay, then fine.  I don't.

I think it's fine to feel disturbed by open caskets...I also don't like them, so I definitely understand the sentiment.  I also think it's ok to say "in my culture, open caskets are not done and everyone on my FB friends list is of my same culture, therefore, if I ever saw a picture of an open casket on my news feed I would be surprised and shocked."

There is nothing wrong with you feelings this way.  Nothing.

But, there is also nothing wrong with someone else feeling differently.  Even though I don't like open caskets personally and wouldn't enjoy seeing one on my newsfeed, I don't think it rude or disturbing for someone else to feel and act differently.   And that's the point some of us are trying to make.  You can feel any way you like about it, but that doesn't mean that anyone else cannot act or believe differently. It doesn't make the picture rude.

Also, I'm a little confused by your exact feelings.  Do you think open caskets, in general, are rude or just posting a picture of one on FB?  It almost reads as if you are saying that because your culture doesn't normally have open caskets at funerals, that you think they are distasteful.  And while I don't know your exact culture and can't speak for it, I would still say that it may be fine to say "it's rude in my culture", but not ok to project that to other people/cultures.  KWIM?

Sharnita

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #100 on: February 13, 2013, 11:00:57 AM »
But don't you find yourself surprised by what people post on fb anyway? There are plenty of times I think "I would never post that myself" or "I can not rekate to that at all". The problem isn't with saying "that isn't part of my experience and,it makes me uncomfortable" it is with saying "that is not part of my experience and it makes me uncomfortable so nobody else should be doing ir"

Queen of Clubs

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #101 on: February 13, 2013, 11:22:09 AM »
I have only heard of it happening in the US.  Please do not presume to tell me what I am "telling myself".  I think it is distasteful and odd (including the Lenin thing), other people don't.  Fine.

I've only heard of open casket funerals in the US too.  If they're done over here (the UK), no one's mentioned attending one and I've never been to one myself.

Amava

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Re: Funeral pictures on your Timeline
« Reply #102 on: February 13, 2013, 12:13:45 PM »
But don't you find yourself surprised by what people post on fb anyway? There are plenty of times I think "I would never post that myself" or "I can not rekate to that at all". The problem isn't with saying "that isn't part of my experience and,it makes me uncomfortable" it is with saying "that is not part of my experience and it makes me uncomfortable so nobody else should be doing ir"
Yes!
All those different norms and cultures are what I find the most interesting aspect of having an international, intercultural Facebook friends list. And of visiting Etiquette Hell too, actually! I discover so much here that is out of my own "norms". It's fascinating.