Author Topic: How To Handle This Politely  (Read 1886 times)

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Figgie

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Re: How To Handle This Politely
« Reply #15 on: February 06, 2013, 02:53:02 PM »

But your other guests were uncomfortable.  Good for you that you care about that, no matter that it was the other woman's fault, not yours. 

If I understand you correctly, you're not asking who was wrong (that's obvious), but how you could have avoided the discomfort of the group.

What you said wasn't bad, but maybe next time (I hope there isn't one) try tweaking it a bit -- if you haven't run out of patience yet, which I wouldn't blame you for doing!  Something like, "I really appreciate your concern; I'll have to look into that.  But we really can't make everyone wait to start the meeting while we talk about pet care, so let's get the meeting started now."

Do you see the difference?  The focus is off stopping the discussion because she is out of line and onto stopping it simply because of the need to move on to the meeting.

That makes so much sense!  Thank you!  I just think it never crossed my mind that once I told her that it was because of surgery and that our vet had recommended it, she would keep on arguing with me.

Which left me with nothing to say to decrease my other guests discomfort except to try and get her to stop.  Your way will at least make me feel like I did everything I could to keep my guests comfortable. :)

I'm just going to make sure that the cats are put in a separate room from now on, as I do not want to have to argue with people about why the one cat is clipped short.

Surianne

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Re: How To Handle This Politely
« Reply #16 on: February 06, 2013, 03:20:27 PM »
How bizarre!  I have known people who have shaved their dogs *against* veterinary recommendation just because they don't like vacuuming up fur, which does seem cruel.  Perhaps that was her experience, too.  But once you explained the vet's involvement I can't imagine why she kept on about it.  And really, even if you'd said "Yes, my vet says shaving her is cruel but I don't care!" it wasn't the time or place to debate it with you.

I think you handled it very well and did the best you could. 

Twik

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Re: How To Handle This Politely
« Reply #17 on: February 06, 2013, 03:24:47 PM »
That seems excessive, to have to segregate the cats. Surely one can assume that normal guests won't go off over a cat's coiffure.

I'd keep this woman, if she returns, in another room, and let the cats socialize with the normal people.
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bopper

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Re: How To Handle This Politely
« Reply #18 on: February 06, 2013, 03:27:06 PM »
We would have told you to do the exact thing you did.

First explain like you would to a reasonable person, then agree to disagree, then we are no longer discussing this because we are here for a meeting!

Figgie

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Re: How To Handle This Politely
« Reply #19 on: February 06, 2013, 04:01:22 PM »
I was sharing this thread with my spouse (he wasn't around during the meeting and I hadn't had a chance to tell him what happened) and he said it was probably a good thing that they didn't notice that both of the cats were front declawed.

I expect that the woman that was arguing with me about the clip job on one cat wouldn't have bothered to listen when I would have explained that both of the cats were rescue cats that were already declawed when we got them. 

In fact, what really angered us both, is that the one with the clipped hair was declawed but not fixed.  No one wanted her (Humane Society was full) because they would have to pay for a cat in heat to be fixed and that is how we ended up with our Maggie.  Or as my spouse calls her...the worlds most expensive free cat. :)

lilihob

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Re: How To Handle This Politely
« Reply #20 on: February 06, 2013, 04:23:21 PM »
I was sharing this thread with my spouse (he wasn't around during the meeting and I hadn't had a chance to tell him what happened) and he said it was probably a good thing that they didn't notice that both of the cats were front declawed.

I expect that the woman that was arguing with me about the clip job on one cat wouldn't have bothered to listen when I would have explained that both of the cats were rescue cats that were already declawed when we got them. 

In fact, what really angered us both, is that the one with the clipped hair was declawed but not fixed.  No one wanted her (Humane Society was full) because they would have to pay for a cat in heat to be fixed and that is how we ended up with our Maggie.  Or as my spouse calls her...the worlds most expensive free cat. :)
I agree with the other posters, she made everyone uncomfortable, not you.
I'm really just replying to tell you that you both rock!.
your cats are lucky to own you. ;)

furrcats

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Re: How To Handle This Politely
« Reply #21 on: February 06, 2013, 04:28:41 PM »
My cat loves to be shaved you were fine