Internet Cafe - is it OK to blast a movie on your laptop? I asked him to stop

[JohnnyHands]

Hello Everyone,

I was in an Internet cafe with some music playing - on the house sound system.  There was a guy watching a video on his laptop, who happened to be old Asian guy, by himself..  I myself, always bring ear buds along with my laptop, when doing anything sonic.  This was a Sunday afternoon in a college town. I think this is different than people talking (obviously, people have right to talk in any kind of dining establishment) - this guy was by himself.  So what do you think?

Part 2: I went over to the guy to suggest that he invest in a pair of earbuds, and I took mine over to show mine.  He claimed not to know English as immediately waived me off - I'm not sure if he did or did not understand me - he just kept playing his movie.  So, another question, was I within my rights in accosting him?

[WillyNilly]

I think its ok to ask once polite for someone to turn down the volume.  I think trying to convince him to get earbuds was over the top (not everyone can even use earbuds specifically) and really none of your business.  If he didn't turn it down at your first request, I think the next step is to speak to an employee - if the volume is against the establishment's rules, they can handle it, if its not they can let you know and you can decide if you want to stay with the noise, or leave.

[Sharnita]

I think its ok to ask once polite for someone to turn down the volume.  I think trying to convince him to get earbuds was over the top (not everyone can even use earbuds specifically) and really none of your business.  If he didn't turn it down at your first request, I think the next step is to speak to an employee - if the volume is against the establishment's rules, they can handle it, if its not they can let you know and you can decide if you want to stay with the noise, or leave.

Pretty much agree with all of this

[Virg]

I agree with WillyNilly as well.  The answer to the question posed by the thread title is really "it depends on the establishment" so asking him to turn it down once is as far as etiquette allows interacting with him.  Bring it to the staff after that.

Virg

[oogyda]

I think suggesting an easy solution to your request was fine except that I'm sure there were no ear buds available for purchase right then and there. 

[LilacRosey]

I think its rude because it makes it hard to hear the music that the cafe actually plays for people to listen too., LilacRosey

[rachellenore]

These situations are why staff exist, they want customers to come to them with a problem, not take it into their own hands. You both sound rude in this situation, unfortunately.

[artk2002]

These situations are why staff exist, they want customers to come to them with a problem, not take it into their own hands. You both sound rude in this situation, unfortunately.

I disagree, strongly. We're adults and don't need to run to mommy to take care of our issues with other adults. Asking someone to turn down loud music/sounds in a public place is not in the least rude. It may be done rudely, but the asking itself is not rude at all. It is not rude to ask someone to stop doing something that impacts you.

[snowdragon]

These situations are why staff exist, they want customers to come to them with a problem, not take it into their own hands. You both sound rude in this situation, unfortunately.

I disagree, strongly. We're adults and don't need to run to mommy to take care of our issues with other adults. Asking someone to turn down loud music/sounds in a public place is not in the least rude. It may be done rudely, but the asking itself is not rude at all. It is not rude to ask someone to stop doing something that impacts you.

The staff is there for when adults can't work it out.   the OP asked the guy declined and had it not been something she could work around she could have gone to the staff to have them deal with it.  That's part of their job.

[artk2002]

These situations are why staff exist, they want customers to come to them with a problem, not take it into their own hands. You both sound rude in this situation, unfortunately.

I disagree, strongly. We're adults and don't need to run to mommy to take care of our issues with other adults. Asking someone to turn down loud music/sounds in a public place is not in the least rude. It may be done rudely, but the asking itself is not rude at all. It is not rude to ask someone to stop doing something that impacts you.

The staff is there for when adults can't work it out.   the OP asked the guy declined and had it not been something she could work around she could have gone to the staff to have them deal with it.  That's part of their job.

I agree. My response was to rachellenore who said (or at least seemed to be saying) that the OP should have gone to the staff first and not spoken to the guy at all. I got that from the "... not take it into their own hands" phrase.  In fact, I see that attitude on eHell frequently: Never deal with the issue yourself, go to someone in authority. I've seen it put forth that speaking up for yourself in these situations is rude. It's not.

If I go to authority first, then I'm not acting like an adult. If I go to authority after the other person refuses to work with me, then I'm going to authority because they aren't acting like an adult. I'd be seriously peeved if someone, annoyed with something I was doing, went to the staff before asking me directly.

[Katana_Geldar]

It's not rude to tell someone blasting sound in a public place "Do you mind watching that with headphones? I find it very distracting."

Then go to someone with authority.

You try doing the authority thing first without a staff person there. Theres a small branch of my library near where I work. It's unattended but you can use a phone that will put you in contact with a member of library staff. But there's an unspoken code there of no talking, which one guy was in ignorance of one morning when he skyped his girlfriend. He didn't notice everyone staring at him, and it took the combined efforts of three library sees, including me, to convince him to take his call outside.