General Etiquette > general

The Awkward Guest

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I actually think several of them are quite bad. As others have said, calling me breastfeeding my son in my own home "disgusting" and insulting my mother (honestly, whether or not my mother deserved it) would get her crossed off my guest list permanently. I consider those to be serious, unwarranted personal insults that I wouldn't tolerate from anyone, as opposed to awkward/clueless/slightly presumptuous or greedy behavior like the other points. But, that's just me, and you of course have to decide for yourself.

She would never be invited to my home again, even if I were only another guest. This is not an "awkward guest" this is rude guest and an intentionally rude one at that ( 3 and 5).  I am not a fan of seeing someone breastfeed,,,but that is that child's home and he has every right to be anywhere in that home, doing what ever his parents want him to do but especially being fed!
  This girl is not awkward, she's a disaster.

How could you consider someone feeding a baby "disgusting"? Goodness knows, if you look at where your own food comes from, it's probably worse.

I agree with previous posters. I would simply never invite the person to my house ever again. 1,2 and 4 would have me cut her off unless Nick was super awesome or one of them had saved my life at some point.

3) would have her turfed right about then. Actually, I would love to be able to say "I'm so sorry you are uncomfortable. Your jacket is in the foyer. Husband, would you be so kind as to pack up some pie for Nora and Nick. It looks like she needs to leave now.". What would likely come out is some sputtering and blinking followed by "You can sit in the living room if you like. There are some books to read" or "The door is right there. good-bye".

I think the BF is a bit of red herring. If you think your host is doing anything that would make you use the word "disgusting" out loud, it is time for you to leave.

Wow.  Any one of these would make me reconsider ever speaking to her again, unless she was family.  And even then, that would just mean that there might be more chances.

1.  This isn't super horrible, I don't think, but is definitely presumptuous.  I've made sweet potato soup, and many other kinds, and they can easily be prepared the night before and stored in a Tupperware container.  I think you mentioned she even brought some of those.  Now, I wouldn't call it unreasonable if she asked to re-heat pre-made soup, but it would still be nice to get a heads-up first.

2.  Again, not super horrible, but anyone who isn't invited would feel left out.  It's rude to discuss that in front of them at a holiday gathering, and it's rude not to take the hint and drop the subject when people show discomfort.

3.  Now, this is a big one.  It's your house, your son, and you showed a measure of discreetness by going to a semi-private corner to feed him.  Anyone who is uncomfortable is free to look the other way.  I have a relative with small children, and when she was going to breastfeed when we were over, she would simply say, "I'm going to feed the baby" and move off a bit.  The men (or anyone who didn't want to see) knew that this was their cue to look away.  This was the norm for their house, and wasn't offensive to us, but the point is it was their house.  It's your house.  And Nora was unspeakably rude.

4.  Another thing that is not okay; taking things without being given permission first.  We share food with guests who come over to eat, but we offer first, and they either graciously decline or happily accept.  Once or twice we forgot because it had been an exhausting day, one relative was a little offended and thought we were "punishing" them for something, and we smoothed things over by taking them out for breakfast and explaining the accident.  We laughed about it later.  But boxing up food without the green light is rude.

5.  This would be the deal breaker for me.  I have nothing to add here.

All in all, who could blame you for being uncomfortable and annoyed?  Not me!


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