General Etiquette > general

I don't text. Really, I don't.

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I have a very basic no-frills cell phone.  By no frills, I mean really and truly, it makes phone calls and that's about it.  I can send and receive texts, but since I have a contract-free pay-as-you-go $0.25/min plan with texts costing $0.10 each to send (they are free to receive), I don't actually use my phone for much.  I spend roughly $35-$50 every 3 months.  Way better than the $20/month plan that cost me $40/month after tax and extras (like voicemail).  I don't even have a camera on my phone and I cannot receive pictures.

When I'm home, my phone is in my purse.  It exists for emergencies and that's about it.  If people want to reach me, I have a telephone at home or a computer where I can email.

In spite of this, many of my friends still text me when I am at home.  I've tried explaining to them that I don't use my phone at home, but because most of my friends have iphones and blackberries, they are constantly online, even at home.

I almost missed a get together and did miss another one because my friends contacted me by text.  I didn't get the text until the next day (or in the latter case, two days later).  I never got a phone call or a followup email.  It's generally assumed that if you don't answer a text, you're not available.

What's the most polite way of saying (without losing it) that "I don't check my phone at home.  Please contact me some other way!"  I've said that.  I guess I"m looking for other, more strongly worded but still polite ways of saying it.

You are saying it in a perfectly polite way... but honestly you are choosing to not use the modern preferred method of communication.  While you are welcome to make that choice, choices have consequences.  Just because you prefer the phone doesn't mean they need to change their ways.

Oh, that's frustrating.  Unfortunately, I don't think you're going to change them.  I don't have a cell phone at all (not in my budget), so I feel your pain. 

I think the easiest thing to do would be find a way to work around it.  For example, I have a landline, and if someone texts my landline (they forget it's not a cell number), the text gets read out loud to my landline by a robot voice.  It's kind of neat. 

My phone company also provides a free, opt-in service where voicemail messages get emailed to me as a sound file. It's awesome because even though I don't have a cell, I usually have a computer with me when I travel, so my phone messages show up in my email.

Does your phone company provide anything like that?

If not, unfortunately, you'll have to decide between spending more $$ on texts, or missing out on events.  It's not fair, and your friends should respect your financial decisions and make the effort to call you, but I'm finding more and more people see a cell phone with a heavy text plan as a "necessity" and won't work around friends who have made different gadget choices.

I think this is on you. It's your choice not to check your phone of course, but if that is the method of communication that your circle uses, then it's on you if you miss out.

It's like saying 'I don't answer my phone, you'll need to send me a telegram'.

My sympathies to you. I just got a smartphone and have noticed that I am way more 'jacked in' than I want to be! :)

Honestly, other than handing out contact cards that specifically leave off your cell phone number, I would just try to forget it. If you get 'forgotten' because some in your social circle use texting to invite or confirm invites (really? this would make me very anxious - I talk to people directly for invites)* than the people that want you there will start to make sure to contact you in the ways you wish to be contacted: at home or through email.

*The one and only time we handled a dinner invitation through texting ended up being a big problem. I prefer to speak directly to people to avoid misunderstandings. If no one else has miscommunications by texting - great - but if someone texts me an invite, they're going to get a phone call from me to confirm details.


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