Here is what I've observed in the last five years:
The METHOD of communication has, for many people, become more important than with WHOM they communicate and if a person will not sign onto using that method, they have signed off on the relationship.
I saw this happen in my dd's high school. If a kid didn't have a cell phone with texting capabilities, they were gradually eliminated from the circles of friends because they didn't know when people were getting together/when plans had changed after school, etc. It wasn't that the kids didn't like the cell phone-free person, but that they considered it "too much trouble" to remember to call the person, to deal with the exception to the rule. There was this exasperation of, "Why don't they just get a phone already! Must not want to be in the loop, then..."
I'm not a fan of Facebook and resisted using it for a long time. I very recently had to surrender because that's how my family communicates. I didn't know a niece was engaged and another niece was pregnant or that a cousin was moving, etc, because I chose not to use FB. I liked to think that if "it was important enough" that they'd call, text, email me... but they didn't. It's not that they are bad people, or don't love me or don't want me in the know, but the means of communication had become so critical that it was either sign onto the means or get left behind. The person who really lost out was me, not them. So I reluctantly got on FB. I use it once a day to check up on family doings through wall posts and respond to messages. It hasn't added drama to my life or taken much time away from my private time. It has added a lot more information and connection with my family, particularly the younger relations who contact me much more than they ever did before. Therefore, it was worth it to me to do something I had resisted doing. Priorities.
So I think it's on you, OP. It's not being a slave to your phone to check it once nightly for any important messages. I also think that you are fighting a losing battle if you think you can make them call you/email you when everyone else is texting.