Author Topic: I don't text. Really, I don't.  (Read 16700 times)

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Jovismom

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #75 on: February 07, 2013, 08:53:57 AM »
Until last summer I had a (dumb) cell phone that lived exclusively in my van.  It was plugged into a charger and stayed there all the time.  It never caused me a problem because almost no one had the number.  Due to a friend's lost dog crisis and the need to coordinate search groups, my cell number wound up being circulated to a large group of my friends.  At that point, no matter how many times I'd tell different friends that I sometimes don't look at my cell for weeks at a time, some of them kept using my cell for both voice messages and texts. 

I maintained that my cell was for emergencies only and I didn't change my habits so I missed a lot of messages.  Some of my friends did adapt but some of them never did stop leaving texts or voice mail.  I pretty much just ignored it all since I was finding them weeks after the fact.

Last summer I got a smart phone and CRUD MONKEYS!.  I'm suddenly a bit more sympathetic to the friends who simply could not remember that I was an odd duck who was more accessible via home phone rather than cell.  Please understand that I'm not assigning a right or wrong, just that I understand.

If, for some reason, I decided to go back to a dumb phone and only wanted to use it for emergencies, I think I'd change phone numbers.  I'd notify everyone in my contacts that I was getting rid of my cell phone, which I would be doing. I'd simply neglect to notify them that I'd gotten a new cell number.

I never had a problem with people calling my cell prior to the lost dog crisis when my number was distributed among my friends.  No you shouldn't have to do this but, if you really want to stop folks from texting you, they can't text you if they don't know your number.  Of course, then you really do need to use the phone only for emergencies because the first time you call someone they'll have your number.

Perfect Circle

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #76 on: February 07, 2013, 08:57:54 AM »
I don't believe your preference should over ride the preference of those who are trying to contact you as there is no other reason for you not reading the text than just the way you prefer to use your phone.  It's similar to someone who doesn't check their email for several days - they may very  well miss out on stuff that was communicated that way.
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VorFemme

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #77 on: February 07, 2013, 09:08:59 AM »
If I post something to Craigslist or Freecycle, I do not include my cell phone number until I know who is getting the number (buyer, seller, or person picking up the item) and that they are aware that I don't get or send texts, due to not having them on the plan.

A bit off-topic, but I've had good luck putting *** NO TEXTS, PLEASE *** in my Craigslist ads. People seem to actually read it and abide by the request, as odd as it may seem.  :D

I do - but the next day they will text me that they are at the meetup point and be shocked that I call them back instead of text them back (at least, I phone back if I can get the number out of their text message).  I do *NOT* text as VorGuy is a semi-Luddite and an accountant.  He wants to know what that charge is on a bill and WHY I spent the money...  A month later, it isn't always easy to remember......
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Knitterly

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #78 on: February 07, 2013, 09:11:22 AM »
I don't believe your preference should over ride the preference of those who are trying to contact you as there is no other reason for you not reading the text than just the way you prefer to use your phone.  It's similar to someone who doesn't check their email for several days - they may very  well miss out on stuff that was communicated that way.

And yet the friend who insists on texting the most does exactly that.  She rarely checks her email and won't get on facebook.  She is the one person for whom I will make an exception and will text.  I do it because that's really the only way to reach her (she doesn't actually answer her phone). 

I do take exception to being called a snowflake by some posters.  That is unnecessary.  If I were a snowflake, I wouldn't be looking for help on how to best address the matter. And really, sending someone whom you know doesn't text a text saying that you want to come over or will be late coming over or that the plans scheduled to happen in an hour have changed seems more snowflakey to me than just accepting that your friend won't likely get the message that way.  After all, I don't go to bed with my phone, and in one of the examples, getting the message on time would have meant basically having my phone in bed.  She sent the message from home - I have to wonder if it would have been that much more work to send me an email from her ipad or other computer.

It seems clear to me that the best way to address the matter is simply to remember to check my phone.

I will try to remember to leave my phone out where I can hear it beep.

(Incidentally, I don't think I can say fairly that my friends don't remember that I don't text - these same friends often make fun of me for "not having a phone", as they consider no smartphone to be about the equivalent of no phone at all.)

RingTailedLemur

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #79 on: February 07, 2013, 09:13:08 AM »
I don't believe your preference should over ride the preference of those who are trying to contact you as there is no other reason for you not reading the text than just the way you prefer to use your phone.  It's similar to someone who doesn't check their email for several days - they may very  well miss out on stuff that was communicated that way.

And yet the friend who insists on texting the most does exactly that.  She rarely checks her email and won't get on facebook.  She is the one person for whom I will make an exception and will text.  I do it because that's really the only way to reach her (she doesn't actually answer her phone). 

I do take exception to being called a snowflake by some posters.  That is unnecessary.  If I were a snowflake, I wouldn't be looking for help on how to best address the matter. And really, sending someone whom you know doesn't text a text saying that you want to come over or will be late coming over or that the plans scheduled to happen in an hour have changed seems more snowflakey to me than just accepting that your friend won't likely get the message that way.  After all, I don't go to bed with my phone, and in one of the examples, getting the message on time would have meant basically having my phone in bed.  She sent the message from home - I have to wonder if it would have been that much more work to send me an email from her ipad or other computer.

It seems clear to me that the best way to address the matter is simply to remember to check my phone.

I will try to remember to leave my phone out where I can hear it beep.

(Incidentally, I don't think I can say fairly that my friends don't remember that I don't text - these same friends often make fun of me for "not having a phone", as they consider no smartphone to be about the equivalent of no phone at all.)

What might be making you seem snowflakey is that in your OP you wanted advice on how to tell people to do it your way.

Perfect Circle

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #80 on: February 07, 2013, 09:21:42 AM »
I don't believe your preference should over ride the preference of those who are trying to contact you as there is no other reason for you not reading the text than just the way you prefer to use your phone.  It's similar to someone who doesn't check their email for several days - they may very  well miss out on stuff that was communicated that way.

And yet the friend who insists on texting the most does exactly that.  She rarely checks her email and won't get on facebook.  She is the one person for whom I will make an exception and will text.  I do it because that's really the only way to reach her (she doesn't actually answer her phone). 



That's very nice of you, but if you didn't, the result of her missing out on communications from you would be on her.
Maybe he's caught in the legend
maybe he's caught in the mood
Maybe these maps and legends
Have been misunderstood

The map that you painted didn't seem real
He just sings whatever he's seen
Point to the legend, point to the east
Point to the yellow, red, and green

sunnygirl

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #81 on: February 07, 2013, 09:34:02 AM »
I don't fully understand the emphasis on not owning a smartphone, and I found the comments about not owning one being the thing that is "really driving me nuts" and about the friends mocking her about not having one interesting. Forgive me for being too personal or speculative, but I can't help but wonder if there's some underlying issue over being the only one without a particular high status item.

I mean, I do think the friends are being rude to make fun, and especially the friend who insists on text-chatting despite knowing that's not practical for the OP. But considering the OP already receives (free!) texts on her non-smartphone, the 'not owning a smartphone' issue seems like a red herring. Owning a smartphone may make it slightly easier and faster to reply, but the OP is still perfectly able to read and respond with her current technology.

Personally I wouldn't send an urgent email at night to someone who I knew didn't have a smartphone, because I'd assume they probably wouldn't have their computer on and be checking their email. Sending a message late at night after the recipient has gone to bed, trying to make plans for the next morning, seems like a problem in and of itself regardless of how it's delivered. I don't think the OP needs to have her phone in bed, but checking it in the morning when you know you have a text waiting isn't more work than booting up your computer and logging in to your emails.

I do think in general it's polite to respect people's preferences. But ultimately if you keep your cell phone switched on, hear it beep and know that you've received a message, and just ignore it, I really don't think you can blame that on anyone else.

CluelessBride

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #82 on: February 07, 2013, 09:40:14 AM »
I don't believe your preference should over ride the preference of those who are trying to contact you as there is no other reason for you not reading the text than just the way you prefer to use your phone.  It's similar to someone who doesn't check their email for several days - they may very  well miss out on stuff that was communicated that way.

And yet the friend who insists on texting the most does exactly that.  She rarely checks her email and won't get on facebook.  She is the one person for whom I will make an exception and will text.  I do it because that's really the only way to reach her (she doesn't actually answer her phone). 

I do take exception to being called a snowflake by some posters.  That is unnecessary.  If I were a snowflake, I wouldn't be looking for help on how to best address the matter. And really, sending someone whom you know doesn't text a text saying that you want to come over or will be late coming over or that the plans scheduled to happen in an hour have changed seems more snowflakey to me than just accepting that your friend won't likely get the message that way.  After all, I don't go to bed with my phone, and in one of the examples, getting the message on time would have meant basically having my phone in bed.  She sent the message from home - I have to wonder if it would have been that much more work to send me an email from her ipad or other computer.

It seems clear to me that the best way to address the matter is simply to remember to check my phone.

I will try to remember to leave my phone out where I can hear it beep.

(Incidentally, I don't think I can say fairly that my friends don't remember that I don't text - these same friends often make fun of me for "not having a phone", as they consider no smartphone to be about the equivalent of no phone at all.)

Ask her what her cell phone carrier is. Then you can text her from your email (free). Everyone wins.

Here are the address conversions: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/email-to-sms/

As an aside, no smart phone would imply to me: doesn't get email immediately.  Which might suggest a text is *better*.  In fact, until I got a smart phone a few months ago, even though I'm an email addict there were times I was unavailable by email for extended periods of time because I wasn't near a computer. But my dumb phone was always on me, so a text was much more accessible. If you start texting from your email, it may help people realize that email is much preferred by you.
 

Sharnita

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #83 on: February 07, 2013, 09:56:13 AM »
to me no smart phone indicates no keyboard.

Zilla

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #84 on: February 07, 2013, 10:03:33 AM »
I don't believe your preference should over ride the preference of those who are trying to contact you as there is no other reason for you not reading the text than just the way you prefer to use your phone.  It's similar to someone who doesn't check their email for several days - they may very  well miss out on stuff that was communicated that way.

And yet the friend who insists on texting the most does exactly that.  She rarely checks her email and won't get on facebook.  She is the one person for whom I will make an exception and will text.  I do it because that's really the only way to reach her (she doesn't actually answer her phone). 

I do take exception to being called a snowflake by some posters.  That is unnecessary.  If I were a snowflake, I wouldn't be looking for help on how to best address the matter. And really, sending someone whom you know doesn't text a text saying that you want to come over or will be late coming over or that the plans scheduled to happen in an hour have changed seems more snowflakey to me than just accepting that your friend won't likely get the message that way.  After all, I don't go to bed with my phone, and in one of the examples, getting the message on time would have meant basically having my phone in bed.  She sent the message from home - I have to wonder if it would have been that much more work to send me an email from her ipad or other computer.

It seems clear to me that the best way to address the matter is simply to remember to check my phone.

I will try to remember to leave my phone out where I can hear it beep.

(Incidentally, I don't think I can say fairly that my friends don't remember that I don't text - these same friends often make fun of me for "not having a phone", as they consider no smartphone to be about the equivalent of no phone at all.)
I wouldn't have given out my cell number.  I would only let them have my landline.  Problem solved.

Yvaine

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #85 on: February 07, 2013, 10:05:01 AM »
to me no smart phone indicates no keyboard.

Which makes it somewhat more annoying to text, but not to receive texts. I have a "dumbphone" and no keyboard. It means that outgoing messages are kind of a PITA, so i tend not to text anything really lengthy, but i can receive texts just fine and can send short texts without any trouble, or call the person if my answer needs to be long. I just can't write a novel in text format.  ;D

CluelessBride

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #86 on: February 07, 2013, 10:14:41 AM »
to me no smart phone indicates no keyboard.

So? People have been texting without keyboards for over a decade. I'm so new to my smartphone that I'm only now able to type as fast on its digital keyboard as I was able to on the num-pad of my dumb phone (an old Nokia flip phone - so old that the reason I upgraded to a smart phone is that my carrier stopped supporting the 2G network it ran on). And receiving texts was definitely actually simpler on my dumb phone (1 less button tap).

If OP doesn't want to send texts, she doesn't have to. If she wants to rarely check her phone, that's fine. But we often say on e-hell that you can only change your own behavior. There is no magic bullet to make someone stop texting you. If it's a charge issue (not the case here) you can block the number or disable texting. If (like here) it's a "I miss things because I don't hear about them in time" you either change your own behavior (check more frequently - maybe turn it into a habit where you check your phone when you check your email?) or accept that you might miss things. If people realize that you are missing things because you aren't getting messages in time, they may change their communication habits, or they may accept that you often can't make things. But no one is wrong or rude. It's just something that happens.

As an aside, even people with smart phones may not have unlimited data. In fact, in my group unlimited texting is much more common than unlimited data or even high data limits. So OP expecting emails may be (fiscally) the same as them expecting texts.

Sharnita

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #87 on: February 07, 2013, 10:20:19 AM »
Clueless Bride, somebody asked why OP mentioned the fact that she doesn't have a smart phone and her friends all do.  I was merely offering what seems to be the most obvious reason for including this info, especially considering her thread title.  I don't know if you intended to sound angry in your response to my theory but I your response seems really OTT.  I am not arguing one way or the other how OP should respond to texts, merely offering an explanation as to why she included info about smartphones.

MariaE

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #88 on: February 07, 2013, 10:22:06 AM »
to me no smart phone indicates no keyboard.

I have a "dumbphone" (love that word :D) with keyboard. So do many other people I know.

I also have a smartphone with a plan that allows for unlimited texting but limited data, so if I'm away from wifi I'm unlikely to check my email.
 
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audrey1962

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Re: I don't text. Really, I don't.
« Reply #89 on: February 07, 2013, 10:28:19 AM »
What I really wanted to know (and which no one has answered for me), though, was is there a more clear way that I can say "Texting is the worst way to reach me."

I believe you are being quite clear.

There's a saying: You can't change other people, you can only change yourself. I truly believe that. In this case, you are being very clear, but for whatever reason, other people are not changing. There is nothing more you can say or do to change them. At this point, all you can do is change yourself. It could be changing your technology, it could be changing your friends, it could be changing your reaction to their behavior or it could be something else entirely.