I don't text. Really, I don't.

[Knitterly]

I have a very basic no-frills cell phone.  By no frills, I mean really and truly, it makes phone calls and that's about it.  I can send and receive texts, but since I have a contract-free pay-as-you-go $0.25/min plan with texts costing $0.10 each to send (they are free to receive), I don't actually use my phone for much.  I spend roughly $35-$50 every 3 months.  Way better than the $20/month plan that cost me $40/month after tax and extras (like voicemail).  I don't even have a camera on my phone and I cannot receive pictures.

When I'm home, my phone is in my purse.  It exists for emergencies and that's about it.  If people want to reach me, I have a telephone at home or a computer where I can email.

In spite of this, many of my friends still text me when I am at home.  I've tried explaining to them that I don't use my phone at home, but because most of my friends have iphones and blackberries, they are constantly online, even at home.

I almost missed a get together and did miss another one because my friends contacted me by text.  I didn't get the text until the next day (or in the latter case, two days later).  I never got a phone call or a followup email.  It's generally assumed that if you don't answer a text, you're not available.

What's the most polite way of saying (without losing it) that "I don't check my phone at home.  Please contact me some other way!"  I've said that.  I guess I"m looking for other, more strongly worded but still polite ways of saying it.

[WillyNilly]

You are saying it in a perfectly polite way... but honestly you are choosing to not use the modern preferred method of communication.  While you are welcome to make that choice, choices have consequences.  Just because you prefer the phone doesn't mean they need to change their ways.

[Surianne]

Oh, that's frustrating.  Unfortunately, I don't think you're going to change them.  I don't have a cell phone at all (not in my budget), so I feel your pain. 

I think the easiest thing to do would be find a way to work around it.  For example, I have a landline, and if someone texts my landline (they forget it's not a cell number), the text gets read out loud to my landline by a robot voice.  It's kind of neat. 

My phone company also provides a free, opt-in service where voicemail messages get emailed to me as a sound file. It's awesome because even though I don't have a cell, I usually have a computer with me when I travel, so my phone messages show up in my email.

Does your phone company provide anything like that?

If not, unfortunately, you'll have to decide between spending more $$ on texts, or missing out on events.  It's not fair, and your friends should respect your financial decisions and make the effort to call you, but I'm finding more and more people see a cell phone with a heavy text plan as a "necessity" and won't work around friends who have made different gadget choices.

[perpetua]

I think this is on you. It's your choice not to check your phone of course, but if that is the method of communication that your circle uses, then it's on you if you miss out.

It's like saying 'I don't answer my phone, you'll need to send me a telegram'.

[bloo]

My sympathies to you. I just got a smartphone and have noticed that I am way more 'jacked in' than I want to be!

Honestly, other than handing out contact cards that specifically leave off your cell phone number, I would just try to forget it. If you get 'forgotten' because some in your social circle use texting to invite or confirm invites (really? this would make me very anxious - I talk to people directly for invites)* than the people that want you there will start to make sure to contact you in the ways you wish to be contacted: at home or through email.

*The one and only time we handled a dinner invitation through texting ended up being a big problem. I prefer to speak directly to people to avoid misunderstandings. If no one else has miscommunications by texting - great - but if someone texts me an invite, they're going to get a phone call from me to confirm details.

[Tabby Uprising]

Yeah, one of the reasons I finally felt compelled to join Facebook was because everyone in my social circle started using it for invitations, big news, etc.  Fortunately that's a free service, but I understand what you're going through being out of the tech loop.  It's not ideal, but I think you are going to have to find some way to adapt since everyone around you is relying upon texts for communication.  Surianne had some good suggestions, maybe those will help!

One more thing, in your post you state "I don't use my phone at home".  Could you try being more explicit and tell your friends "I do not text at all.  Please email."  Or have you said that as well?  Saying you don't use your phone at home doesn't emphasize the texting issue you have.

[Kiara]

Personally, I think your friends are pretty rude.  I'm like you.  My cell phone is so people can contact me at work, and in case I wreck the car so I can call for help.  I can text, but rarely do, because I have a pretty old phone and it's a pain in the neck.  Once I'm home, the phone stays on vibrate from being at work and is in my purse.

My friends all know I don't check my cell - I have a landline.  So yes, they'll text me, orcall my cell and leave a voicemail, but if they haven't heard after a bit, they call the landline.  My boss does the same thing if I'm at home and he needs me.  It's really not that hard.  I don't have a problem telling people not to call my cell - I won't call them back because I won't check it until I get to work the next morning.

[Outdoor Girl]

If everybody has Smart phones of some sort, it would be no less work for them to send you an email than it would be to send you a text.

Send out an email:  'Guys, I do not have a texting plan on my phone.  If you need to reach me, please send an email to this address.  Otherwise, I may not get the message until too late.'

I have a work cell only.  Only a select few people have that number.  But most of my friends aren't on the smart phone bandwagon, either, so it works out OK.  Although one friend does want me to get a Facebook account.  I shudder everytime I think about it.  I waste spend enough time on eHell.  I don't need another time suck.

[MummySweet]

I agree with a previous poster that this is really one you.   It sounds like your friends are still including you... just not using the means of communication that you prefer.   I don't think you are going to change them.  In fact, if you are insistent that they remember to use your preferences, rather than the method that most of the social circle uses, they may forget you entirely.   

I think the best course of action is to make it a habit to check your texts once every 24 hours.  If you receive something that requires a response, feel free to use another means of communication.   

[perpetua]

If everybody has Smart phones of some sort, it would be no less work for them to send you an email than it would be to send you a text.

Unless they're sending group texts, ie, one message to multiple numbers at the same time, in which case it would be twice as much work to then send an email aswell.

[oceanus]

I'm not fond of texting (vm and email are fine).

If I did communicate a lot via text and someone (especially a friend of relative) told me they don't text/check their text messages, I would respect that and call them on their land line.

[Tabby Uprising]

If everybody has Smart phones of some sort, it would be no less work for them to send you an email than it would be to send you a text.

Unless they're sending group texts, ie, one message to multiple numbers at the same time, in which case it would be twice as much work to then send an email aswell.

I do agree that it would be more work, but it's not a lot more work.  Maybe an extra couple of minutes of inconvenience? 

If they can't remember how to reach you, don't make the effort to reach you and aren't concerned about you missing events then maybe it's more of a friend issue than a technology one. 

[NotTheNarcissist]

It sounds as though etiquette-wise both you & your friends have been polite. I'm not sure you can ask for much more. To ask to be the 1 person that requires a phone call or email when everyone else is fine with texting seems a little over the top to me.

[perpetua]

If everybody has Smart phones of some sort, it would be no less work for them to send you an email than it would be to send you a text.

Unless they're sending group texts, ie, one message to multiple numbers at the same time, in which case it would be twice as much work to then send an email aswell.

I do agree that it would be more work, but it's not a lot more work.  Maybe an extra couple of minutes of inconvenience? 

But why should they be inconvenienced at all? The OP is the one who isn't falling into step with the rest of the group or using modern methods of communication.

If they can't remember how to reach you, don't make the effort to reach you and aren't concerned about you missing events then maybe it's more of a friend issue than a technology one.

That could just as easily be said the other way around.

[Surianne]

If everybody has Smart phones of some sort, it would be no less work for them to send you an email than it would be to send you a text.

Unless they're sending group texts, ie, one message to multiple numbers at the same time, in which case it would be twice as much work to then send an email aswell.

I do agree that it would be more work, but it's not a lot more work.  Maybe an extra couple of minutes of inconvenience? 

If they can't remember how to reach you, don't make the effort to reach you and aren't concerned about you missing events then maybe it's more of a friend issue than a technology one.

Yes, I think that unfortunately they're making it clear that inclusiveness is a lower priority than convenience, which is pretty lousy.