I don't text. Really, I don't.

[sparksals]

Then when they text, and it doesn't go through, then they'll be reminded to call and leave a message on the answering machine if she isn't home to answer the landline. 

I think the OP should be prepared for the potential reality that her friends would not often take those extra steps.  I often text because I cannot for whatever reason talk into a phone when I have the time to communicate with someone.

Me too.  I may be sitting in the waiting room of a doctor's office and I will think to ask my best friend if she wants to meet for lunch.  It is much easier (and polite to others around you) to rifle off a text than it is to talk in a public room.

Right.  I agree.  But as I've already said, it's just as easy for these same friends to rifle off an email on the same phone they are using to send a text.

The above is actually a very different scenario than what's happening, and i'm trying really hard not to get frustrated with the (mostly inaccurate) assumptions being made.

Maybe they are in a dr's office, maybe they aren't in a place with wifi, maybe emailing is more expensive than texting, maybe... etc.

All of these would be reasonable.  Those aren't the situations which are causing my frustration.  How do I know they aren't in one of these situations?  Well, because these are my friends.  Because I know them and their habits.  Because they often brag about the great plans they have, etc.  Because the area we are in has great data coverage.  Because the texts happen at 7pm or 11pm or at other times when I know they aren't texting from an appointment.  Because these are other stay at home moms.  Because they will be posting a status update on facebook and then I might get a text 10 minutes later.  Because I get the text from their house (confirmed by "we're leaving the house in 5 minutes" if I do get the text and reply to it).   Because when I'm out with them, their phones are always on.  Because on the occasion that I might get a message from a friend from the lobby of a dr's office (and yes, it happened once), the message would more likely read "Hey, at the Dr right now, wanna do lunch when I'm done?"

But mostly, the frustration comes when I get a text instead of an email in the evening hours when I am least likely to have my cellphone handy.  And the frustration comes when I actually see them online and get a text instead of another form of instant message (ie, logged into gmail or facebook).  And it comes from the fact that these are close enough friends that I generally know their schedule and they generally know mine, and they know I am home.  So the texting frankly makes no sense to me.  None.  Especially when they are texting from home.

I've already decided what I'm going to do/am doing to resolve the situation, but I did want to correct some of the assumptions being made about the reasons for texting.  In short, the only reason is the obvious one:  it's more convenient.  If there is another reason, I cannot understand what it might be, but please believe me when I say that Dr's office, lack of wifi, or cost is not one of the reasons.  And an email is just as easy as a text on a smartphone.

The issue that separated this topic is you are in the minority in that most people, and it sounds like your friends all have their phone handy the vast majority of the time.  It is your choice not to, but then you experience the consequences.   Sending an email is no different if you are not home to receive it.  If they emailed, you still would not get the message if you were out running errands. 

[Sharnita]

mmmm, depending on how they use their smart phone and what their plan allows, they might just as easily get an e-mail as a text.

[sparksals]

I meant for the OP.  She says email is better for her, but if she is not home to receive it, then she still doesn't have the instant communication.   Everyone else has access to text and email on their phones, so she could still be in the same situation. 

[Lady Snowdon]

It sounds like this is all decided anyway, but I just wanted to throw out a reason that I prefer texting over emailing/FBing, even though I do have a smartphone and theoretically they're all just as "easy".  Texting is easier than emailing, because I'm constrained by a character limit.  So I'm not typing as much, which is easier on my fingers and doesn't require as much time as an email or FB message.  When I email or use FB message, I don't use abbreviations, and I set things up much more like a letter, so it takes more time and my fingers get sore and tired.  A text is quicker and easier on me, so I prefer them. 

[Knitterly]

It sounds like this is all decided anyway, but I just wanted to throw out a reason that I prefer texting over emailing/FBing, even though I do have a smartphone and theoretically they're all just as "easy".  Texting is easier than emailing, because I'm constrained by a character limit.  So I'm not typing as much, which is easier on my fingers and doesn't require as much time as an email or FB message.  When I email or use FB message, I don't use abbreviations, and I set things up much more like a letter, so it takes more time and my fingers get sore and tired.  A text is quicker and easier on me, so I prefer them.

You could, however, send an email that reads like a text, or send a shorter email.

My husband does this all the time.  He'll send me an email with only a subject line.  Inside the body of the message is the standard "sent from my iphone/blackberry/android", which is automatically appended to all emails sent from a smartphone.

Just because you *can* write more, doesn't mean that you must. 

I meant for the OP.  She says email is better for her, but if she is not home to receive it, then she still doesn't have the instant communication.   Everyone else has access to text and email on their phones, so she could still be in the same situation. 

If I only got texts when I was out and about, there would be no problem.  Or even if I ever got texts when I was out and about.  That's not the problem at all.  It's that I *am* home, and usually I only seem to get them when I am home.  Often later in the evening when they are home too.  That is why the issue is frustrating.

mmmm, depending on how they use their smart phone and what their plan allows, they might just as easily get an e-mail as a text.

And yes.  For all my friends in question, they get a little ping whether from text, email, facebook, or twitter.

[JenJay]

Knitterly, would it work, when your friends text, to reply by Facebook PM or email? I understand why you don't want to call the friend whose number is long distance. Since your friend is on a smartphone (I think? Correct me if I'm wrong) I think you'd be fine in emailing or Facebook PMing a response to her texts because she'd get them right away. Also, when you did accidentally miss a text, it might occur to her that you didn't get it (since you didn't email or PM her back) and maybe she'd try another method to contact you instead of assuming your lack of response meant you weren't interested. It's worth a try.

I have two friends who've switched to google+ and now use their Facebook accounts only to post "baby pics at google+" or "funny vacation story on google+", etc. Am I sorry that I miss out? Sure. Am I going to go create an account I'll never use just so I can occasionally see updates from those two friends? No. I don't think either of us is wrong, it just is what it is. 

[Roe]

The point of the entire thread is that your friends are not being rude. Yes, they are doing what is most convenient for them...that doesn't make them rude. 

And I prefer texting over calling and/or emailing.  For me, it's just easier.  If someone doesn't get my msg because they don't text, that's fine with me too.  People live with the consequences of the choices they make.  So long as I don't pout or throw a fit (and hopefully they won't either), we can go as we please.  Trying to make one "side" rude vs the other is just silly, IMO. 

[SiotehCat]

I have a smartphone, but sending emails is not as easy for me as sending text messages.

Since I send so many text messages a day, I could probably do it with my eyes closed.

I dont send nearly as many emails with my phone, so its not something that has become second nature to me. It takes a little bit longer.

Also, I don't know about other people, but my phone shows me the last few people that I have texted. That makes it easier for me to find their name when I want to send them another text.

OP, I know that you have already decided what you are going to do. The only reason I posted was because I have seen it said so many times that emailing is just as simple as texting. I don't think that's true. I know its not true for me.

[TurtleDove]

I have seen it said so many times that emailing is just as simple as texting. I don't think that's true. I know its not true for me.

It's not true for me either.

[sparksals]

Me three.  It is much easier if I am at home and access to my desktop, but on my smartphone?  No.  Much easier to do a quick text.  I rarely do emails from my phone b/c they tend to be longer. 

[katycoo]

I think you need to meet them halfway.  Get into the habit of checking your phone before bed so you receive any messages.  BUt you are not obligated to reply by text.  Make your communciation by your preferred method.

[cutejellybeen]

I know I'm late to reply here, but Knitterly, I think your friends are being inconsiderate. Im finding it hard to beleive that adults can't remember who texts and who doesn't. I have some friends who are constantly available, and some, like my sister in law, who just dont text. She has a full plan, and just got a smart phone, but rarely texts. If I text her, I know she might not get it for a few days, so if there is anything timely - I call her. My dad can text and email - but he responds faster to email. so I email. My grandmother just learned to text, so now i text her, but expect her to take days to respond - its still faster than email for her, and as she is in Florida for the winter - and I'm in Canada, text is the easiest way to reach her.

Knitterly, I think Id just remind friends that you dont check your phone often, just as you have done. I think its great that you are being more proactive to check your phone more often. I wish you luck with your friends.

[mbbored]

I know I'm late to reply here, but Knitterly, I think your friends are being inconsiderate. Im finding it hard to beleive that adults can't remember who texts and who doesn't. I have some friends who are constantly available, and some, like my sister in law, who just dont text. She has a full plan, and just got a smart phone, but rarely texts. If I text her, I know she might not get it for a few days, so if there is anything timely - I call her. My dad can text and email - but he responds faster to email. so I email. My grandmother just learned to text, so now i text her, but expect her to take days to respond - its still faster than email for her, and as she is in Florida for the winter - and I'm in Canada, text is the easiest way to reach her.

Knitterly, I think Id just remind friends that you dont check your phone often, just as you have done. I think its great that you are being more proactive to check your phone more often. I wish you luck with your friends.

Even though some of us have stated up thread that they have trouble remembering every single friend's preferences? I confess, I am an adult who sometimes has trouble remembering which friends prefer text to email to phone calls to Facebook and when each of those are preferred because some want email or voicemail during the workweek but texting on the weekends. I reach out to people in the way that I am most comfortable and if sometimes we miss connecting, then so be it.

[delabela]

I know I'm late to reply here, but Knitterly, I think your friends are being inconsiderate. Im finding it hard to beleive that adults can't remember who texts and who doesn't. I have some friends who are constantly available, and some, like my sister in law, who just dont text. She has a full plan, and just got a smart phone, but rarely texts. If I text her, I know she might not get it for a few days, so if there is anything timely - I call her. My dad can text and email - but he responds faster to email. so I email. My grandmother just learned to text, so now i text her, but expect her to take days to respond - its still faster than email for her, and as she is in Florida for the winter - and I'm in Canada, text is the easiest way to reach her.

Knitterly, I think Id just remind friends that you dont check your phone often, just as you have done. I think its great that you are being more proactive to check your phone more often. I wish you luck with your friends.

I've followed this thread but not commented until now.  I will freely admit that I can not remember the contact preferences of all the people I might contact via text, phone and/or email.  I would certainly try to remember a strong preference that someone has, but I don't believe that I am rude if I chose my default option. 

[Mental Magpie]

I know I'm late to reply here, but Knitterly, I think your friends are being inconsiderate. Im finding it hard to beleive that adults can't remember who texts and who doesn't. I have some friends who are constantly available, and some, like my sister in law, who just dont text. She has a full plan, and just got a smart phone, but rarely texts. If I text her, I know she might not get it for a few days, so if there is anything timely - I call her. My dad can text and email - but he responds faster to email. so I email. My grandmother just learned to text, so now i text her, but expect her to take days to respond - its still faster than email for her, and as she is in Florida for the winter - and I'm in Canada, text is the easiest way to reach her.

Knitterly, I think Id just remind friends that you dont check your phone often, just as you have done. I think its great that you are being more proactive to check your phone more often. I wish you luck with your friends.

Even though some of us have stated up thread that they have trouble remembering every single friend's preferences? I confess, I am an adult who sometimes has trouble remembering which friends prefer text to email to phone calls to Facebook and when each of those are preferred because some want email or voicemail during the workweek but texting on the weekends. I reach out to people in the way that I am most comfortable and if sometimes we miss connecting, then so be it.

Yes, even though some of you have stated that up thread.  I have waited days for a reply from my friend, so when I go to text her, I remember that and say to myself, "Is it important that I get an answer right away?  No?  OK, go ahead and text her."  I know my mom doesn't get texts at work, and my aunt doesn't get texts at all (I have 6 aunts, and I know who texts and who doesn't).  Does that mean everyone remembers?  No, but I don't think it is safe to say that no one remembers ever.