I don't text. Really, I don't.

[lowspark]

I've been keeping up with this thread without commenting until now. And here's what I'm wondering. If your cell phone is for emergencies only, why did you ever give out the number in the first place? Might be too late to remedy that now as they already have it, but back when I first acquired a cell phone, I wanted it for emergencies only too. And I didn't give my number to anyone except my husband and kids. I didn't want casual calls on the phone because they would cost me the limited minutes I didn't want to use up.

Possibly a large part of the issue is the fact that you have your computer nearby most of the time but not your phone. Most people (?) are probably the other way around. My computer is in a different room from me most of the time. Granted, my smart phone does receive emails, but I don't have it beep me for emails, only for text (and calls obviously). So in my mind, a text is more likely to reach the recipient immediately than an email since that's how it works for me.

[Danika]

I'm not the OP, but I had this issue in the past. I used to have my cell phone for emergencies only. The only person who had my number was DH.

But then I'd go out with friends and we'd be driving separately and they'd say "Danika, leave your phone on in case we get lost or separated and can't meet up. What's your number?" And I'd tell them that I was giving them that number only for that evening but that in general I didn't use that phone. I'd give that number to the 5 people I was going out with that night. They all programmed it into their phones.

Then, two weeks later when I turned the phone on again, I'd have 3 voice mails from 3 of those 5 people saying "I have tickets to the football game tonight. Do you want to go?" and the voice mail would be 10 days past.

I learned that it was bad to give my number out at all, even when I told people not to keep the number or try to call me in the future.

[Dorrie78]

I'm not the OP, but I had this issue in the past. I used to have my cell phone for emergencies only. The only person who had my number was DH.

But then I'd go out with friends and we'd be driving separately and they'd say "Danika, leave your phone on in case we get lost or separated and can't meet up. What's your number?" And I'd tell them that I was giving them that number only for that evening but that in general I didn't use that phone. I'd give that number to the 5 people I was going out with that night. They all programmed it into their phones.

Then, two weeks later when I turned the phone on again, I'd have 3 voice mails from 3 of those 5 people saying "I have tickets to the football game tonight. Do you want to go?" and the voice mail would be 10 days past.

I learned that it was bad to give my number out at all, even when I told people not to keep the number or try to call me in the future.

But then you aren't using your phone only for emergencies - you're using it as a convenience. Emergency to me means, for instance, my car has broken down and I need to call a tow truck. There is nothing wrong with using a cell phone as a convenience, but then it isn't emergency-use only and your friends may not really believe you when you tell them that you only use it for emergencies. You also use it to coordinate meeting with friends. If everyone driving has the name and address of the destination, it's not an emergency if the cars split up on the way. It's an inconvenience, possibly. I agree with the PP - if you don't want people using your cell (whether to call or text), then don't give out the number.  And I actually think that if you do have a cell phone that is truly for emergencies only, it is perfectly fine to say to a friend that you don't have a cell phone if they ask you for a number.

[Roe]

I've been keeping up with this thread without commenting until now. And here's what I'm wondering. If your cell phone is for emergencies only, why did you ever give out the number in the first place? Might be too late to remedy that now as they already have it, but back when I first acquired a cell phone, I wanted it for emergencies only too. And I didn't give my number to anyone except my husband and kids. I didn't want casual calls on the phone because they would cost me the limited minutes I didn't want to use up.

I have to agree.  You say your phone is only for emergencies and yet, everyone has the number.  You don't act like you are using it for emergencies (you do respond using your cell) only so you can't really blame others when they use your number to send texts.

Maybe you can change the number and let everyone know that you no longer have a cell phone and keep it around only for emergencies.

[Mental Magpie]

I would give out my number to be reached at in case of an emergency.  For example..."Magpie is driving across the state right now but her house just burned down!  How will we reach her?  On her emergency cell phone!"  I would give out the number for stuff like that.

[Roe]

I would give out my number to be reached at in case of an emergency.  For example..."Magpie is driving across the state right now but her house just burned down!  How will we reach her?  On her emergency cell phone!"  I would give out the number for stuff like that.

You would give out your number to all your friends?  To a cell that you only use for emergencies?  And a cell that isn't even on most of the time? 

I wouldn't.  Doesn't make sense to me, not if I only want to use it for emergencies.  My husband, parents and children would have the number but that's about it.  (if someone else needs to reach me, they can call my DH, parents or child and send along a msg)

Otherwise, giving everyone my number would, IMO, be using my cell as a regular cell and not an emergency cell.

[Knitterly]

I would give out my number to be reached at in case of an emergency.  For example..."Magpie is driving across the state right now but her house just burned down!  How will we reach her?  On her emergency cell phone!"  I would give out the number for stuff like that.

You would give out your number to all your friends?  To a cell that you only use for emergencies?  And a cell that isn't even on most of the time? 

I wouldn't.  Doesn't make sense to me, not if I only want to use it for emergencies.  My husband, parents and children would have the number but that's about it.  (if someone else needs to reach me, they can call my DH, parents or child and send along a msg)

Otherwise, giving everyone my number would, IMO, be using my cell as a regular cell and not an emergency cell.

I think this is a matter of semantics.  What one person considers "emergency use" could very well be what someone else considers "convenience use".

I don't mind my friends having my number to call me if we're planning on meeting somewhere.  After all, *they* might have an emergency (ie car breaks down, they get lost, can't find the meeting spot, got delayed, etc) and need to contact me while I'm on my way to meet them.

I've been keeping up with this thread without commenting until now. And here's what I'm wondering. If your cell phone is for emergencies only, why did you ever give out the number in the first place? Might be too late to remedy that now as they already have it, but back when I first acquired a cell phone, I wanted it for emergencies only too. And I didn't give my number to anyone except my husband and kids. I didn't want casual calls on the phone because they would cost me the limited minutes I didn't want to use up.

Possibly a large part of the issue is the fact that you have your computer nearby most of the time but not your phone. Most people (?) are probably the other way around. My computer is in a different room from me most of the time. Granted, my smart phone does receive emails, but I don't have it beep me for emails, only for text (and calls obviously). So in my mind, a text is more likely to reach the recipient immediately than an email since that's how it works for me.

For me, personally, it was because my number hasn't changed from the days when I had a different phone on a plan with more features.  That was several years ago when I was employed.

Also, it does actually make sense for me for friends and family to have your emergency number.  Afterall, the person with the emergency phone may not be the one experiencing the emergency, as I suggested above. 

[Roe]

So you don't mind if they call you when they plan on meeting somewhere but then you say it's just for emergencies? 

Honestly, IMO, you are giving your friends mixed signals and then getting upset/annoyed when they don't follow the "only for emergency" plan. 

[Knitterly]

So you don't mind if they call you when they plan on meeting somewhere but then you say it's just for emergencies? 

Honestly, IMO, you are giving your friends mixed signals and then getting upset/annoyed when they don't follow the "only for emergency" plan.

I respectfully disagree.  If they are calling because the plan has to change because of an unforeseen circumstance, then it's appreciated.  Otherwise, I'd be waiting unnecessarily and wondering where on earth they are.

I do think this is a matter of differing definitions.

[sparksals]

So you don't mind if they call you when they plan on meeting somewhere but then you say it's just for emergencies? 

Honestly, IMO, you are giving your friends mixed signals and then getting upset/annoyed when they don't follow the "only for emergency" plan.

I respectfully disagree.  If they are calling because the plan has to change because of an unforeseen circumstance, then it's appreciated.  Otherwise, I'd be waiting unnecessarily and wondering where on earth they are.

I do think this is a matter of differing definitions.

Chances are, most would send a quick text in the example you gave above..  Your method would require an additional step for them... they text everyone else and call you?  They may not think to do that, so you are at square one again. 

If you don't want to text or receive them, that is fine.  You cannot expect people to change their preferred method.    So you just may be sitting waiting at Restaurant B because you didn't check for the text that Restaurant A is now the location.

[Mental Magpie]

I would give out my number to be reached at in case of an emergency.  For example..."Magpie is driving across the state right now but her house just burned down!  How will we reach her?  On her emergency cell phone!"  I would give out the number for stuff like that.

You would give out your number to all your friends?  To a cell that you only use for emergencies?  And a cell that isn't even on most of the time? 

I wouldn't.  Doesn't make sense to me, not if I only want to use it for emergencies.  My husband, parents and children would have the number but that's about it.  (if someone else needs to reach me, they can call my DH, parents or child and send along a msg)

Otherwise, giving everyone my number would, IMO, be using my cell as a regular cell and not an emergency cell.

Seeing as I have about 3-4 friends, yes.  4 friends plus the Eagle, the Stork, and the Nestling, that's 7 people total; I may also give it to work due to the nature of my job and a special team to which I belong.  All of these would be the people who would need to reach me in the case of an emergency.

[Sharnita]

Honestly, if your friend doesn't confirm that they know the plans have changed and you don't give them the courtesy of a follow up call because the extra step is too taxing, you probably aren't a friend I'd want to have.  Even if I were texting I'd want to make sure people had seen it so if they didn't respond (text, phone, smoke signals) I'd try to get ahold of them again - using a different medium.

[Danika]

Also, it does actually make sense for me for friends and family to have your emergency number.  Afterall, the person with the emergency phone may not be the one experiencing the emergency, as I suggested above.

That was why I gave out my number originally. The conversation was something like a bunch of us were doing something we rarely do. It involved a lot of driving, each in a car alone, on roads far from cities so no payphones, no hotels, rarely a restaurant. Everyone exchanged phone numbers in case someone had a flat tire, or made a wrong turn. They all wanted my number and I said "but I don't use my phone and it's usually off." And they said "turn it on, and keep it on while we're on the road for the next hour. And give us your number." I didn't see the harm in it... until weeks later when I had a bunch of voice mail messages from people who clearly did not comprehend when I told them "I leave the phone off most of the time. If you ever want to get ahold of me, you should use my landline."

[Knitterly]

So you don't mind if they call you when they plan on meeting somewhere but then you say it's just for emergencies? 

Honestly, IMO, you are giving your friends mixed signals and then getting upset/annoyed when they don't follow the "only for emergency" plan.

I respectfully disagree.  If they are calling because the plan has to change because of an unforeseen circumstance, then it's appreciated.  Otherwise, I'd be waiting unnecessarily and wondering where on earth they are.

I do think this is a matter of differing definitions.

Chances are, most would send a quick text in the example you gave above..  Your method would require an additional step for them... they text everyone else and call you?  They may not think to do that, so you are at square one again. 

If you don't want to text or receive them, that is fine.  You cannot expect people to change their preferred method.    So you just may be sitting waiting at Restaurant B because you didn't check for the text that Restaurant A is now the location.

I really have to wonder at this point if I am just plain miscommunicating.  I feel like I am not being understood! 

What you're describing is not at all what I am getting upset with.   What you're describing also doesn't happen in my circle.  Changing to Restaurant B without actually receiving confirmation from everyone in the group would really not happen in my circle of friends.  Never has happened in the past.  It's also absolutely not at all what I'm talking about!!  In any case, if I am out, my phone is with me and I would see/hear/receive a text.  I wouldn't get an email, so this example does not correlate to what is happening with my friends texting me.

How about instead of call it emergency use, we call it "urgent use".  My phone is for urgent use.  Getting a text about a change of plans is not at all my complaint.

My complaint is solely getting texts on my cellphone that is not meant for that use about last minute plans (new plans, not plan changes) when it's late at night and I am home and my cellphone is away (or, prior to this thread, was away).  I have asked my friends not to do this.  It still happens. 
It's even  more frustrating when I know for a fact that they are also at home and could just as easily email me or contact me by any other more reliable means.

[Danika]

I really have to wonder at this point if I am just plain miscommunicating.  I feel like I am not being understood! 

I've been understanding you completely from the beginning, so I'm not sure why some people get you and others (here and also your friends) do not. I don't know if some don't understand why it's so inconvenient for you to have your phone with you at all times, even in the house, or maybe it has nothing to do with that and they don't get why you don't hear it when it beeps. I know if I'm in the shower or the TV is on, I'm not going to hear my phone. And because I don't use it in the evenings and I so rarely get calls in the evenings, I don't get out of the shower and think "Hey, I should walk downstairs and over to my phone and see if someone called or texted."

I wonder if you gave your friends actual times, it might work better. Like you could say "I check my phone at 7am every day. If you text me at 6am, I'll find it at 7am. But if you text me after 7am, I will not receive it until the next day at 7am." Maybe that would make more sense to them. I'm not sure.