Photoshop for online da[color=black]ting[/color] photos

[Mikayla]

I think anything beyond removing temporary blemishes (pimple that normally isn't there, strand of hair that got in the face, gash from cutting while shaving that day) is coming back to bite her sooner or later because upon meeting the date might feel deceived/lied to and not trust her.

This.

[MrsVandy]

I tried an online dating site before my DH and I started dating.
 One guy had old and retouched photos, when I met him he was 25 lbs heavier and looked nothing like the photos.
A different guy only posted photos of himself eating a stalk of broccoli in a cubical, they were funny but not flattering. Imagine my surprise when it turns out he was very good looking in real life!

I wouldn't photo shop anything other then the light or a temporary blemish. In fact most of my photos were makeup free when I was on a dating site.

[mbbored]

I'd say photoshopping away anything that can't be fixed with make-up, a hair brush or an iron would be a bad idea.

[Sharnita]

I haven't tried online dating but when I think about it I think I'd rather have his reaction to seeing me in person the first time be "she looks better than her pictures".  I don't know that it is rude to photoshop, I am just not hure it is the best course of action.

[sweetonsno]

PODing to the majority here. I think it's unethical to photoshop.

To add to the discussion, my problem with it is that attraction is a subjective reaction. If I got together ten of my friends and rounded up a few brave men, I'm sure we would all have a different idea of who was hot (or not) and why. The men's appearance is objective. They look the way they look. Wavy salt and pepper hair isn't attractive or unattractive until someone reacts to it. It simply is what it is.

By photoshopping away essential features from your friend's image, you are taking away potential mates' ability to see her objectively, which means that they have no chance to decide if they are interested subjectively. If these changes are making enough of a difference that they seem to be "worth it," then they are probably making enough of a difference that your friend isn't really portraying herself as honestly as she could be. As with others, I don't object to Photoshopping out things like red-eye or a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth, as they aren't there all the time. However, I'd draw the line at whitening teeth or photoshopping out freckles.

Anyway, the problem with misrepresenting herself is twofold for your friend: one, she could be meeting guys who find out upon meeting her that they aren't interested (either because she isn't as attractive to them as they expected based on the pictures or because they think she's dishonest for posting altered photos); two, men that would be interested in her normally might pass her over because her "improved" photos make her less intriguing to them. Neither situation is ideal.

I agree with the PPs who suggest that the best option is to have a mix of photos. She should have some of herself dressed up for a date or outing, some of herself in a more casual situation (no, she doesn't need to be in paint-splattered sweats), and a few of her doing something she loves. Best to be real.