Author Topic: Still My Money or Now Her Money?  (Read 4715 times)

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Daquiri40

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Re: Still My Money or Now Her Money?
« Reply #30 on: February 12, 2013, 09:04:14 AM »
OP here....

My boyfriend does not tease me relentlessly about it.  I have brought it up and he still thinks his daughter was right because I gave her the card.  My feeling is that I didn't really give it to her, I was letting her use it.  The look on her face when she said she cashed it in ticked me off and so I was a little sharper with her than I would have been otherwise. 

A little more background:  as I said my bf paid for her trip and her husbands.  I paid for my own.  I was resentful that he invited them to come in the first place but I was going to make the best of it.  The daughter stuck to her dad like glue and he paid for everything...food, trips, drink, and anything that caught her eye.  She makes handicraft stuff and was trying to sell it to other passengers on the tour.  She took photographs that she was going to print and try to sell.  Her dad paid for everything yet she was going to try to make the trip a moneymaking one for her.  This bugged me.

So, when she cashed in the internet card, I immediately was resentful that she was using me to get more money.  Petty of me?  Probably but there it is.

jaxsue

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Re: Still My Money or Now Her Money?
« Reply #31 on: February 12, 2013, 09:09:49 AM »
OP, if that makes you petty, then I'm petty, too.

bah12

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Re: Still My Money or Now Her Money?
« Reply #32 on: February 12, 2013, 10:29:26 AM »
OP here....

My boyfriend does not tease me relentlessly about it.  I have brought it up and he still thinks his daughter was right because I gave her the card.  My feeling is that I didn't really give it to her, I was letting her use it.  The look on her face when she said she cashed it in ticked me off and so I was a little sharper with her than I would have been otherwise. 

A little more background:  as I said my bf paid for her trip and her husbands.  I paid for my own.  I was resentful that he invited them to come in the first place but I was going to make the best of it.  The daughter stuck to her dad like glue and he paid for everything...food, trips, drink, and anything that caught her eye.  She makes handicraft stuff and was trying to sell it to other passengers on the tour.  She took photographs that she was going to print and try to sell.  Her dad paid for everything yet she was going to try to make the trip a moneymaking one for her.  This bugged me.

So, when she cashed in the internet card, I immediately was resentful that she was using me to get more money.  Petty of me?  Probably but there it is.

I think that maybe this incident is bothering you so much, not because of the card/money for the card itself, but more because you may be resentful of the relationship your bf has with his daughter.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  It seems that (at least in your perspective) he puts his daugher ahead of you.  Paying for her and her husband to go on vacation, but not you.  The time they spent together vs. just the two of you.  And him taking her side when she cashed in your internet card.   The fact that this happened a few years ago and you are still discussing it with him says something.

I think that you may have been right about the card...or you may have been wrong.  I think it's really hard to tell at this point.  But it shouldn't be this big of a deal.  I think that instead of focusing on this particular thing when you talk to your bf, it would benefit both of you to talk about what may be the bigger issue.   Etiquette wise, you are entitled to your feelings and shouldn't feel that you can't confront him about them...and in return he should listen and offer to work out something that is satisfactory to both of you. 

oceanus

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Re: Still My Money or Now Her Money?
« Reply #33 on: February 13, 2013, 02:27:12 PM »
Quote
It seems that (at least in your perspective) he puts his daugher ahead of you.  Paying for her and her husband to go on vacation, but not you.  The time they spent together vs. just the two of you.  And him taking her side when she cashed in your internet card.   The fact that this happened a few years ago and you are still discussing it with him says something.

This.

I see it as a relationship issue.  This is about a lot more than the etiquette of cashing in a $6 internet card.

onyonryngs

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Re: Still My Money or Now Her Money?
« Reply #34 on: February 13, 2013, 02:31:33 PM »
Cashing the card was extremely rude.  Of course you let her borrow it for INTERNET USAGE and it wasn't a gift of money.  Who does that?  I also see the relationship issues - and how your reaction may have been a bit more stern than it would normally be in that situation, but still, I don't think you did anything wrong.  Your boyfriend needs to stop babying his children.  Their actions were inappropriate.