Etiquette School is in session! > "What an interesting assumption."

It has been decided. We're coming to your house.

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Yes, The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists is a fantastic book! Some of the others that really helped me were Toxic Parents - Susan Forward, Emotional Blackmail - Susan Forward, Trapped in the Mirror - Elan Golomb, Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - Karyl McBride and Children of the Self-Absorbed - Nina W. Brown.

I just finished reading The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself - Beverly Engel.

Some about Gaslighting, cuz that's big in my family: In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People - George K. Simon Ph.D., The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life - Robin Stern

And I've read a few blogs too. Nice light reading in my free time. ;)

This is great. Thanks so much for listing all of these books.  :)

Another book--and one that's been extremely helpful for me in growing a polite spine and saying no to unreasonable demands--is How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty by Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch.

Thank you! Adding it to my list.  :)

I have to ask, "Why are you not talking directly to your brother regarding events that include your brother?".  Why is everyone going through mom and then when you all receive different stories, you are surprised?

For the theater event, you and brother should have talked the day before and discussed the plans.  "Ok, bro, what is happening as far as you know on your end per mom?  Oh, this is what I was told.  Ok, now how do we want this to go?"
This way there are no surprises because mom did not tell you anything.

As far as brother and invites, why not just come out and ask him?  "Bro, please don't take this wrong way, but I am seriously confused by your invitations.  You say you don't expect us there, but is it tha tyou are just inviting kids and we can come if we want to, or do you not want us there or would you like us there, but you are leaving it up to us per our schedule(s)?  I'm sorry, but it is very confusing and I would just like to clarify you real intent so that there are no hurt feelings on either end if we are missing something".


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