Author Topic: Friend is annoyed with my answer to small talk questions of where I am from...  (Read 8687 times)

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jalutaja

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Most people have never read or heard Anishinabe so the "sauga" part gets mixed up with "agua" in their head.

It's (the correct way to say it) very similar to the Native American pronunciations where I grew up, in N MI.
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But once you get outside MI, MN, WI and the Dakotas most people would not be able to pronounce it correctly*.  Heck, most people here in Iowa wouldn't get it right most of the time.  Sort of like "How do you pronounce Worcestershire?"  But with the confusion of mixing letters around as well.

And for most people the "sauga" would either read as "saguaro" or "agua". Because those are familiar words.

*And parts of Canada, of course.
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Most people or most Americans?

For example, I can bet everyone around me I ask will know the word Sauga (that is a river and a parish close by), but not everyone would know the foreign word "aqua"

MrTango

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I remember being on a trip to Washington, DC and someone asked me where I was from.  I said "Minneapolis" which was the name of the nearest large city.

Someone insisted that I should've said Chicago because Minneapolis is practically a suburb of Chicago.

I responded that, if that was the case, he should just identify himself as being from New York, since Washington, DC is practically a suburb of New York City.  He said something along the lines of "That's stupid, it's a four-hour drive to New York City from here."

My response was to point out that insisting "Minneapolis is practically Chicago" must be twice as stupid, since they're an eight-hour drive from each other.


Cat-Fu

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Jeez, there's a state in between Minneapolis and Chicago...  ??? Maybe he was thinking Milwaukee? (which is still pretty dumb)

StareDecisis, your friend's behavior must be tiresome. TBH, I'd be tempted to respond with a bored, "yeah, yeah, you say that every time; it's not a big deal to anyone but you."

And FTR I live in the city, but the neighborhood where I live is basically suburbia with buses (and it's not the only one), and I've seen the same sorts of neighborhoods in other cities. Your friend is being ridiculous.
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Thipu1

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Minneapolis is a suburb of Chicago?    :P

That belongs in the Brain-Hurt thread.  May as well say that Madison is a suburb of Minneapolis. 

I can understand these mistakes from Europeans because their countries are smaller and they often underestimate the distances between places in North America.  We once had a French lady working with us who thought New England was a small city. 

There's a certain weirdness about living in Manhattan.  A person who worked in the library lived in Brooklyn Heights and was very involved in the downtown arts scene of the time.  By subway, she lived 20 minutes away from places she often visited but she had to live in Manhattan. 

She moved to Washington Heights at the very top of Manhattan.  That meant a very long commute both to work and to the places that interested her.  It didn't matter because she could say she lived in Manhattan.   

squeakers

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Most people have never read or heard Anishinabe so the "sauga" part gets mixed up with "agua" in their head.

But once you get outside MI, MN, WI and the Dakotas most people would not be able to pronounce it correctly*.  Heck, most people here in Iowa wouldn't get it right most of the time.  Sort of like "How do you pronounce Worcestershire?"  But with the confusion of mixing letters around as well.

And for most people the "sauga" would either read as "saguaro" or "agua". Because those are familiar words.

*And parts of Canada, of course.

Most people or most Americans?

For example, I can bet everyone around me I ask will know the word Sauga (that is a river and a parish close by), but not everyone would know the foreign word "aqua"

AQUA and AGUA are two different words meaning the same thing (capitalized only to show the letter difference.)  As jaxsue wrote.. it can come down to regional differences.  Like when I hear some saying "Dez Moinez" when it should be pronounced "Duh Moyn" (Des Moines).

I think there is a thread around here (either in the Coffee Break folder or the Trans Atlantic folder) where people discussed how place names can be hard for outsiders to pronounce.
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StareDecisis

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Thanks for confirming that I am not crazy to be annoyed by this!  ;D

She is coming to stay with me for a visit in a few months.  I think I will be able to address this then, although I suppose it will be unlikely to come up naturally.  She is, in most respects, a very good friend, but as some have rightly pointed out, is a "big city snob".  I think it is partially stemming from insecurity, and partially from snobbery.  We have been friends since childhood, and she used to be much more of a snob about pretty much everything (parents' professions, toys, having longer hair, having a "prettier" eye color, etc.), so much so that my parents limited our contact for a while as they were so put off by her behavior.  She has grown tremendously, or else I would not continue the relationship, but some things (like this) are just obnoxious. 

If she persists, or acts as though I'm the weird one, I think I may point her to this thread  >:D

Lynn2000

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Thanks for confirming that I am not crazy to be annoyed by this!  ;D

She is coming to stay with me for a visit in a few months.  I think I will be able to address this then, although I suppose it will be unlikely to come up naturally.  She is, in most respects, a very good friend, but as some have rightly pointed out, is a "big city snob".  I think it is partially stemming from insecurity, and partially from snobbery.  We have been friends since childhood, and she used to be much more of a snob about pretty much everything (parents' professions, toys, having longer hair, having a "prettier" eye color, etc.), so much so that my parents limited our contact for a while as they were so put off by her behavior.  She has grown tremendously, or else I would not continue the relationship, but some things (like this) are just obnoxious. 

If she persists, or acts as though I'm the weird one, I think I may point her to this thread  >:D

Well, as PP mentioned, if you don't want to get into the "snob" discussion, which could be uncomfortable, you could always go with, "Don't tell strangers my personal information" and/or "Don't correct me in public about stuff that isn't your business."
~Lynn2000

ettiquit

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Minneapolis is a suburb of Chicago?    :P

That belongs in the Brain-Hurt thread.  May as well say that Madison is a suburb of Minneapolis. 

I can understand these mistakes from Europeans because their countries are smaller and they often underestimate the distances between places in North America.  We once had a French lady working with us who thought New England was a small city. 

There's a certain weirdness about living in Manhattan.  A person who worked in the library lived in Brooklyn Heights and was very involved in the downtown arts scene of the time.  By subway, she lived 20 minutes away from places she often visited but she had to live in Manhattan. 

She moved to Washington Heights at the very top of Manhattan.  That meant a very long commute both to work and to the places that interested her.  It didn't matter because she could say she lived in Manhattan.

I suppose you're going to tell me that Topeka isn't a suburb of Seattle?  Phhht.

TootsNYC

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I've found it's just easier to answer "the Bigcity area," or "near Bigcity" or "about __ miles from Bigcity," even without the insecure friend factor. It saves backpedaling when the other person says, "Oh, what part of Bigcity? I grew up on the Upper East Side of Bigcity!" ("Um, well, actually I don't live *in* Bigcity, I live in Nearbytown.")

Insecure friend is insecure. The behavior needs to stop. But if I have the option to stop it by not provoking it (by saying "I live near Bigcity" instead of "I live in Bigcity"), rather than by confronting her on it, I'll take the former option.


This.

Venus193

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Thanks for confirming that I am not crazy to be annoyed by this!  ;D

She is coming to stay with me for a visit in a few months.  I think I will be able to address this then, although I suppose it will be unlikely to come up naturally.  She is, in most respects, a very good friend, but as some have rightly pointed out, is a "big city snob".  I think it is partially stemming from insecurity, and partially from snobbery.  We have been friends since childhood, and she used to be much more of a snob about pretty much everything (parents' professions, toys, having longer hair, having a "prettier" eye color, etc.), so much so that my parents limited our contact for a while as they were so put off by her behavior. She has grown tremendously, or else I would not continue the relationship, but some things (like this) are just obnoxious. 

If she persists, or acts as though I'm the weird one, I think I may point her to this thread  >:D

I think your parents were very wise.

CaffeineKatie

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Thanks ettiquit--I needed a laugh this afternoon!

Twik

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I think a lot depends on who you are talking to, and how far away they live from you.

If I'm talking to someone from Ontario, I say I live in Mississauga. If I'm talking to someone from, say, Los Angeles, I say I live in Toronto, because that will likely give them a much better idea of where I'm located.

Plus, I don't have to hear them calling it "Mississogwa".

I'm in NJ but am very familiar with Toronto (dad is from there), so I'd ask you what part of Toronto. I have lots of family in Mississauga. But like you, I'd start bigger/more general.

Seriously, people say "Mississogwa"?  :o

It's very easy to misread it as Mississagua, if you're not familiar with the name.

It's no big deal, but it's amusing to hear people try to put a sort of Spanish inflection on it.

Locals, however, call it MisterandMissisauga. The other side of the Big Smoke from Scarberia.
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wyliefool

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Thanks for confirming that I am not crazy to be annoyed by this!  ;D

She is coming to stay with me for a visit in a few months.  I think I will be able to address this then, although I suppose it will be unlikely to come up naturally.  She is, in most respects, a very good friend, but as some have rightly pointed out, is a "big city snob".  I think it is partially stemming from insecurity, and partially from snobbery.  We have been friends since childhood, and she used to be much more of a snob about pretty much everything (parents' professions, toys, having longer hair, having a "prettier" eye color, etc.), so much so that my parents limited our contact for a while as they were so put off by her behavior.  She has grown tremendously, or else I would not continue the relationship, but some things (like this) are just obnoxious. 

If she persists, or acts as though I'm the weird one, I think I may point her to this thread  >:D

You lived in the city too at one point, yes? So if she doesn't take the hint when you mention your concerns, you could always start saying 'Oh yes, now I live in Burb but I lived in Bigtown for so long I just still feel connected to it.' Puts a hole right in the snobbery.  >:D