Danika, you have some good examples of the ways that different people communicate, which I'm sure has frustrated many a couple in the history of the world!
My dad and his family are really bad at communicating, too. They are great people but my dad especially seems to think that people close to him can read his mind, or will simply trust that whatever he's up to is important, for example. I have a lot of trouble traveling with my parents because my dad simply will not
make plans clear beforehand.
Recently we had a tense exchange when my parents and I went on a weekend trip together. The entire time we were making plans and discussing the trip, both in person and through email, I thought we were going to do Activity A on Saturday, then Activity B on Sunday, then be home by early afternoon on Sunday. I especially wanted to do B (shopping for my hobby) so I put a lot of effort into planning it, including selecting places that would be open on Sunday. No other plans were at any point mentioned or hinted at, and I was careful, even over-careful, to check with my dad (the driver) that the stops I wanted to make were okay with him.
Well, the trip started and after about an hour in the car, I realized my dad planned to do Activity B (shopping) first
, on Saturday, then proceed to Activity A (so my work of finding places open on Sunday was for nothing). Gradually I came to realize that Activity C had been planned for Saturday night, Activity D for Sunday morning, and then Activity E (involving meeting people for lunch) Sunday noon; so that instead of getting home in the early afternoon on Sunday, we would be lucky to leave our destination by then. All of these activities my dad knew about well in advance--my mom knew about them, too, but (foolishly) assumed my dad had told me about them.
This is so typical of traveling with my parents and it makes me really angry. It's definitely not that my dad just forgot
to tell me (nor does he claim this). Whatever his motivation, it just feels very dismissive to me, like I'm still a child who can be carted around to whatever event without being consulted. I don't mean to derail the thread; it's just that I think some people have these weird blocks inside them that can be barriers to communication, and it can take some work to recognize and work with them. Being raised with my dad as an example, I often feel a weird compulsion to not
tell people important things myself, and I'm trying to work on fixing that.