Late Again for the final time

[BabylonSister]

You were not at all rude or harsh.  If anything, your mistake was to let her mess with you for much too long.


If you ever befriend another Latey Katey and her friendship is worth the trouble, here's how you deal with it:


-do not plan on events where her presence is absolutely necessary.  Going to see a movie or an exhibit? Sure. Playing a game of tennis? Probably not a good idea.
-do not pay for her ticket in advance if her lateness might cost you anything.
-tell her precisely how long you'll wait, and don't wait one more minute.  Either go home or go ahead with the activity without her.


There has to be a consequence for perpetual lateness, whether it stems from a hunger for attention or a lack of organization.  Missing out on cool stuff is a pretty good consequence.

[WillyNilly]

I don't think you were harsh at all.

I do think you made errors, but not towards her.  I think you should have gotten your stuff and your money and then told her off, not told her off and then still need to find a way to get your stuff.

I think you should have let her wait outside the movie theater for her ticket, not went out for her.

I think you should have said "no" to having her join you at King Tut at all after Halloween.

But no I don't think you were harsh.

[PeterM]

But a few of my other friends have said I was too harsh on her and I shouldn't hold it against her just because she was late.

Your friends are nitwits. Possibly also nincompoops, but it's hard to be sure with only this one example. But definitely nitwits.

[m2kbug]

Honestly, I think I would have refrained from saying anything until I got my loot, and then end the friendship.  Your "friend" was completely out of line from start to finish and then leaving your product with a parking garage attendant??  Really??  Good riddance.  I'm so sorry!  And if she's working for a company, call the company for a refund or replacement.  "That's just how I am" can only go so far and for so long.  Eventually one must be responsible.  Never pay for people like this and never wait more than an allotted amount of time and never plan on actually doing anything with this person since they may not show up, "cuz that's how we roll."  If they miss out or fork over money for nothing, they may just learn to revamp the way they do things.

[Amara]

Chronically late people irritate me almost beyond description. And the reason is that the person (and their defenders) don't give one tiny darn about anyone else. They don't care that you are inconvenienced. They don't respect anyone (you) or anything (a concert's starting time). They see themselves as important and everyone and everything else as subject to them. They believe that their lateness should be honored because they want it. In short, they are IT, and the rest of the world can kiss their ... watches. 

[Piratelvr1121]

Ugh, I hate the "that's just how I am!" excuse, as it always is about behaviors they could change.  I grew up in a family that didn't seem to understand the need to show up on time for social obligations.   I invited my brother to one of my son's birthday parties and he didn't show up till near the end.    He and his gf will tell us "We'll be there at noon!" but they show up around 1:30.  Thankfully those things are often not really time sensitive.   And we have learned if they come for dinner to not even think of starting it till they call to let us know they're on their way.

I love my brother because otherwise he's a good guy, but I would read him the riot act if he made me late for things I really wanted to do and never apologized for it. 

You weren't harsh.

[VorFemme]

Chronically late people irritate me almost beyond description. And the reason is that the person (and their defenders) don't give one tiny darn about anyone else. They don't care that you are inconvenienced. They don't respect anyone (you) or anything (a concert's starting time). They see themselves as important and everyone and everything else as subject to them. They believe that their lateness should be honored because they want it. In short, they are IT, and the rest of the world can kiss their ...watches. 

Edited to add ".....can kiss their ...*broken* watches".

The ONLY times that I remember being THAT late were when there was an accident involving three semi-trucks blocking three lanes north and three lanes south on an interstate highway (and a Life Flight helicopter - I phoned in to let my supervisor know that I was stuck in traffic....for over two hours); when a car broke down as we were making a 90 minute trip from our house to Galveston (Lil Sis left her house to meet us - we had a cell phone, she didn't, and we ended up getting a taxi, a rental car, and a tow truck that day to get to Galveston, then get the broken down car home to a repair shop - radiator trouble). 

VorGuy has a habit of thinking that we can make a trip in the same time or less as the "average trip time" on the driving directions sites.  I always pad a bit because of the need to stop for a bathroom break (menopausal me); possible need to fuel up if it's a spontaneous trip; or just because nobody is ever ready to leave early.....if I am, someone else won't be.  Or they'll have forgotten something and we have to make a stop to shop for a replacement if we are too far from home to turn around and get it...

If it's sunglasses, we stop & shop - wallets we go back for......

[CaffeineKatie]

I absolutely agree with the others who said they would have ended it after the haunted house fiasco.  She's beyond rude--what a special snowflake! 

[diesel_darlin]

"Well thats just the way I am"

Well that may be how YOU are, but the way I AM doesnt allow me to continue taking this sort of behavior.


OP, you were not rude.

[Promise]

People like this are not friends. They are users. You are only their for their entertainment. In reality you are the accessory. You are well rid of her. She cannot be counted on.

[gramma dishes]

Her:  "Well, that's just the way I am."

You:  "Yes, it is, and that's the problem!"

Yes, she was unconscionably rude.  I'm amazed that you stuck this 'friendship' out as long as you did.  Your friends are wrong.  The King Tut thing would have had me wringing her neck!  You have been patient beyond belief.  Time for this to end. 

She is disrespecting you, for sure. 

...   It takes 10 min to get through and then she says "well I have to go I'm going out for coffee" and leaves. ...

 

 

This alone would have made my blood boil!! 

[Piratelvr1121]

I felt my blood getting there when reading that!  Man, what a special snowflake she is!!

[Shoo]

But a few of my other friends have said I was too harsh on her and I shouldn't hold it against her just because she was late.

Your friends are nitwits. Possibly also nincompoops, but it's hard to be sure with only this one example. But definitely nitwits.

I couldn't agree more!

[Jones]

"I can't be friends with a perpetually late person. It's just the way I am." 

You gave her chances and feedback. If she didn't value time with you enough to fix her watch, you don't need to stick around.

[jaxsue]

I felt my blood getting there when reading that!  Man, what a special snowflake she is!!

Mine blood pressure went up when I read that, too.

OP, you did the right thing. She is a user.