Author Topic: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!  (Read 1110 times)

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jmarvellous

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Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« on: February 17, 2013, 10:17:19 PM »
We were shopping at a crowded antique store when a woman came up behind me and stage-whispered in a girlish, conspiratorial tone, "Excuse me, your tag is out!"
I immediately reached for my T-shirt tag, which sure enough was partly flopped out, and turned toward her and started to say, "Th --" (I would ordinarily thank someone for this.)

She interrupted me with an abrupt, full-volume shriek, "It's really bothering HIM!" and a finger jabbed in the direction of her male companion. I didn't catch his reaction because I was too shocked by her scolding and practically ran away (as fast as one can in a booth filled with high vaue china).

My response was a probably overly enthusiastic (internally sarcastic), "Oh, boy! Thanks a lot, then!" (And a silent, "Wouldn't want to hurt a man's delicate sensibilities with an errant tag, would we?")

Now, I know I should have kept my tone to myself, but I'm wondering: Is anyone MORE mortified or ashamed of their mild (non-sexual) faux pas/errors because they happen around someone of the opposite sex? If so, was she actually being kind by speaking on his behalf (if that's even what she was doing)?

Sharnita

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2013, 10:23:22 PM »
I think you might be reaing into it.  You don't know exactly what that meant.  Maybe it meant it really bothered him because he would want to know if his tag was sticking up but he was afraid that if a male said something it might be taken wrong.

LeveeWoman

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2013, 10:30:19 PM »
We were shopping at a crowded antique store when a woman came up behind me and stage-whispered in a girlish, conspiratorial tone, "Excuse me, your tag is out!"
I immediately reached for my T-shirt tag, which sure enough was partly flopped out, and turned toward her and started to say, "Th --" (I would ordinarily thank someone for this.)

She interrupted me with an abrupt, full-volume shriek, "It's really bothering HIM!" and a finger jabbed in the direction of her male companion. I didn't catch his reaction because I was too shocked by her scolding and practically ran away (as fast as one can in a booth filled with high vaue china).

My response was a probably overly enthusiastic (internally sarcastic), "Oh, boy! Thanks a lot, then!" (And a silent, "Wouldn't want to hurt a man's delicate sensibilities with an errant tag, would we?")

Now, I know I should have kept my tone to myself, but I'm wondering: Is anyone MORE mortified or ashamed of their mild (non-sexual) faux pas/errors because they happen around someone of the opposite sex? If so, was she actually being kind by speaking on his behalf (if that's even what she was doing)?

I don't care who's bothered by something as innocuous as a shirt's tag, you don't go around screeching at people about it.

Sharnita

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2013, 10:32:08 PM »
He didn't screech at anyone but is sounds like OP's kind of sarcastic response was directed at him.

yokozbornak

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2013, 10:34:03 PM »
She was probably more annoyed with him than with you since it sounds like he insisted she come and tell you about the tag.  I doubt if you were hurting his delicate sensibilities.  I would bet he wanted to let you know about the tag, but felt it was improper for him to say anything to you and asked her to do it instead.

Yvaine

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2013, 10:35:37 PM »
She was probably more annoyed with him than with you since it sounds like he insisted she come and tell you about the tag.  I doubt if you were hurting his delicate sensibilities.  I would bet he wanted to let you know about the tag, but felt it was improper for him to say anything to you.

Yeah, this. I think he put her up to saying something, and then she was embarrassed after she said it and so shifted the "blame."

Emmy

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2013, 10:37:43 PM »
She was probably more annoyed with him than with you since it sounds like he insisted she come and tell you about the tag.  I doubt if you were hurting his delicate sensibilities.  I would bet he wanted to let you know about the tag, but felt it was improper for him to say anything to you.

Yeah, this. I think he put her up to saying something, and then she was embarrassed after she said it and so shifted the "blame."

Or maybe the tag bothered her and she felt a little embarrassed making an issue out of it so she wanted to put the blame on him.

EllenS

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2013, 10:46:39 PM »
This is obviously not about you but something very weird between them.  Perhaps she is insanely jealous of him "noticing" other women (even something as simple as a tag).

LeveeWoman

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2013, 11:04:45 PM »
He didn't screech at anyone but is sounds like OP's kind of sarcastic response was directed at him.

I didn't say he screeched.

ETA: Does it really matter who was bothered by it? It's no one's business.

jmarvellous

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2013, 11:06:17 PM »
This is obviously not about you but something very weird between them.  Perhaps she is insanely jealous of him "noticing" other women (even something as simple as a tag).

This is the sense that I got. I didn't want to assume anything, but it sure sounded like she was scolding both of us.

(Also the idea that others have had that if anyone was bothered, it was her, and perhaps she thought I'd respond better to a plea not to offend a man. Again, I tried not to assume, but I was caught by surprise.)

Tags sticking out: unattractive, sure; accidental, probably; but offensive? That's funny.

And Sharnita: My response waa firmly directed at the speaker, I promise.

Daydream

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Re: Men can't stand T-shirt tags!
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2013, 11:59:42 PM »
I read your post again before replying but, based solely on what you wrote, I just see the woman as using the word "HIM" because it was the appropriate pronoun to refer to the person she was with.  If the tag-spotter had been female, she might have said "HER."  I see nothing that indicates that she was saying that your tag sticking out was offensive at all, or particularly more so to a man, and that you should be more concerned about it because a man noticed it. 

If he bugged her to go over and tell you about it (not because heís male, but for any other reason he might have for not being comfortable approaching people), she may have been trying to embarrass him by calling attention to him anyway.

She just seems like a weirdo who likes to draw strangers into the odd dynamics of the relationship she has with the person she was shopping with at the time.

It's like a relative of mine who seems to want an audience for every spat she has with her husband:  "Oh, there he goes again putting all that pepper on his food.  He always does that!  SEE what I have to put up with?  Can you believe I married him instead of all the other choices I had?  None of THEM would put so much pepper... blah, blah, blah," while her husband just sits there looking as uncomfortable as the rest of us in the room feel.

I think she thinks itís cute or entertaining, and that we will be impressed by her embarrassing her husband.  Or, she just wants to point out to us that she has a husband, which we of course already know and arenít going to forget while weíre sitting there having dinner with them.