Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Taking spirits to dinner question

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This is based on a RL situation but I'll make it as vague as possible to get unbiased opinions.

The question is this: You are invited to dinner at a friend's house and when asked what to bring the friend says "Booze!". You purchase a bottle of wine and also a spirit and mixer because you know friend would like to try a new combo you have found. At the end of the evening is it acceptable to take the remainder of the bottle of spirits home with you?

gramma dishes:
LOL!!  When I read the title to the thread, I had visions of your taking a few of your favorite apparitions out for a nice friendly dinner!  I assumed your question would be something about should you order for the ghosts since the server would not be able to either see or hear them?     ;D

In answer to your actual dilemma, if you choose to take wine and even if they open it there but don't drink it all, I'd leave it. 
The hard stuff I think is your call, but if you plan on retrieving any leftover to take back home with you, I'd make that clear from the moment you step in the house.  "I brought along our bottle of *type of spirit* and a package of mix so that you could try it. (Insert big smile here.) But we'll be taking any leftover back home with us."  If there's only a smidgeon left, I wouldn't bother though.

Could you make a big pitcher of "spirit + mixer" -- bring the pitcher, leave the bottle home?

I think it's OK, but I would only do that with close friends and I would be clear that "I bought this for myself and then thought you might like to try some so I brought some over to share."

Or if I wasn't comfortable with that I would bring a mickey instead of a full bottle. That would be my choice if I was going to the house of someone I didn't really well or if  it was a party where lots of drinking would happen.

If someone brought it to my house, I would be happy with whatever they decided. The fact they brought wine takes any stinginess out of it.

I think in general if you bring it, its for the host. But there are exceptions. If this is a close friend and you are basically helping them out by bringing some booze, because they are unable to afford to host, almost like a liquor potluck thing, its ok. I do definitely think it should be said as you arrive though, to avoid awkwardness later.

When I was young - 21 or 22 ish - a very close friend got her first apartment and was planning a party. She was young and poor; we all were. She asked me to bring cosmo makings. Well that's like $40+ of ingredients (vodka & triple sec, plus lime juice & cranberry). I did, as well as some snack food. At the end of the night there was almost no vodka or cran left, but plenty of triple sec and lime. I went to take those 2 back. She called me out as rude. I was mortified, and ticked. It wasn't a hostess gift, it was me helping her throw the party she wanted, at her request, and it was expensive. I took it anyway, but over 15 years later I still remember the incident annoyingly.


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