Cell phone at store

[oogyda]

Question for you all (I expect these answers to be mixed). Yesterday we were trying to work out the details of a trip to NYC (we're in Philly, and we knew NYC was going to get a snow storm). My sister and I kept missing each other and she finally got a hold of me while I was in a convenience store. We're talking as I'm hitting the cash machine, and the man next to me says "Could you please keep your conversation private." I was a little startled and just replied "I'm leaving now," to which he replied "good" or "Thank gosh" or something to that equivalent. Since my business was concluded I just left without replying.

Now I could understand him being annoyed if I was holding up a line (I wasn't), or we were in a place where you needed silence or quiet (we weren't), or if I had been talking for an extended period (I wasn't). I thought his hostility (which is how it seemed to me) was surprising and uncalled for.

Thoughts?

The first bolded sentence sounds like a polite, reasonable request.  The second bolded sentence, however, was rude.

[Mikayla]

His second comment was rude regardless of anything else.  But I do agree with those mentioning the possibility of cell yelling.  My sister does this out of habit, and as many times as I've brought it to her attention, it still keeps happening....and in all the wrong places!~

So just make sure this wasn't the case, because that *is* annoying.

[DottyG]

Some people truly raise the volume of their voice by 6-25 notches for no reason other then being on a cell phone.  I've literally witnessed people having a normal conversation or chat with someone, then they pick up their cell and THEY SUDDENLY ARE CHATTING VERY LOUDLY, then they hang up, and they resume normal volume.  I honestly don't think people realize they do it, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.

You know that there's an actual reason for that, right?

Unlike standard corded phones, cellphones provide little in the way of aural feedback; it has long been known that if you can hear yourself through the earpiece, you are better able to keep your voice properly modulated. (That's why the hard of hearing often speak more loudly than others.) Because the mouthpiece of the typical cellphone barely extends to the cheek, many users act, consciously or not, as if they have to shout to be heard.

'Cellphones are so small that people don't trust the technology to work,' said Timo Kopomaa, a social scientist at the University of Technology in Helsinki and author of a study on cellphone behavior. That is one reason Motorola makes phones that flip open, according to a company executive: to give people the illusion that the phone is bigger and the microphone is closer to the mouth."

[WillyNilly]

Whether there's a reason or not, in a small confined space of a conveinence store, it can be very unpleasant for those around the person yelling.

[DottyG]

I'm not saying it's not unpleasant.  I'm in agreement that it is.  I'm just saying that there is an actual reason why it happens so often.

It's also a heads up that it's something that even we can be aware of when we're talking on our phones - whether in public or in the privacy of our homes.  It's interesting that the technological changes that have occurred with the advent of the cellphone have changed the way we hear and talk on our phones.  I'm intrigued by the fact that one of the reasons a cellphone is different than a landline is that the audible portion has changed - that we're not hearing ourselves in the same way.  It'd be interesting to do a study on a group of the younger generation (ones who never had a landline at all) to see how their voices change if they were on one.
 
 

[Softly Spoken]

PODDing PPs that said his request wasn't unreasonable if you were louder than you realized, but his parting "shot" was rude/PA.

I tend not to talk on my cell when I am in places like that because I get distracted and even if I weren't "cell yelling" I would not care for eavesdroppers, inadvertent or otherwise. I can also say from personal experience that it is often really hard to tell if you are being too loud on your phone. 

FWIW, I read an article once that explained that any overheard phone conversation (cell phone or not) is annoying to a third party who hears it because you only hear one side of the conversation. Apparently it is inherently distracting to your brain because your mind automatically starts trying to figure out the missing pieces of what you are hearing. This means that even talking at a "normal" conversation volume can be more distracting when done on the phone.

[Zilla]

FWIW, I read an article once that explained that any overheard phone conversation (cell phone or not) is annoying to a third party who hears it because you only hear one side of the conversation. Apparently it is inherently distracting to your brain because your mind automatically starts trying to figure out the missing pieces of what you are hearing. This means that even talking at a "normal" conversation volume can be more distracting when done on the phone.

Did you, perhaps, read it about 3 posts above yours?

Why should Softly Spoken should have?  Yours talked about feedback and Softly Spoken talks about only hearing one half of the conversation...or am I missing something? 

[Girly]

FWIW, I read an article once that explained that any overheard phone conversation (cell phone or not) is annoying to a third party who hears it because you only hear one side of the conversation. Apparently it is inherently distracting to your brain because your mind automatically starts trying to figure out the missing pieces of what you are hearing. This means that even talking at a "normal" conversation volume can be more distracting when done on the phone.

Did you, perhaps, read it about 3 posts above yours?

Why should Softly Spoken should have?  Yours talked about feedback and Softly Spoken talks about only hearing one half of the conversation...or am I missing something? 

Yeah, I'm confused as well. It looks like Softly Spoken is talking about something totally different....

[ladyknight1]

I agree with previous posters that the second part of the comments was rude or out of line. OP, nothing you did was out of line.

However, I have witnessed too many (one-sided on my end) conversations on a phone that were so loud, the person could be heard clearly from over 50 feet away. I think that is too much.

[auntmeegs]

PODDing PPs that said his request wasn't unreasonable if you were louder than you realized, but his parting "shot" was rude/PA.

I tend not to talk on my cell when I am in places like that because I get distracted and even if I weren't "cell yelling" I would not care for eavesdroppers, inadvertent or otherwise. I can also say from personal experience that it is often really hard to tell if you are being too loud on your phone. 

FWIW, I read an article once that explained that any overheard phone conversation (cell phone or not) is annoying to a third party who hears it because you only hear one side of the conversation. Apparently it is inherently distracting to your brain because your mind automatically starts trying to figure out the missing pieces of what you are hearing. This means that even talking at a "normal" conversation volume can be more distracting when done on the phone.

I've heard that too and personally I have to file it under "Oh well, that's life."  I definitely don't think it makes the person talking on the phone rude. 

[zinzin]

FWIW, I read an article once that explained that any overheard phone conversation (cell phone or not) is annoying to a third party who hears it because you only hear one side of the conversation. Apparently it is inherently distracting to your brain because your mind automatically starts trying to figure out the missing pieces of what you are hearing. This means that even talking at a "normal" conversation volume can be more distracting when done on the phone.

Did you, perhaps, read it about 3 posts above yours?

She's talking about a different phenomenon than what you brought up.

[DottyG]

Problem remedied

[Zilla]

Problem remedied

 

[thedudeabides]

Problem remedied

I don't understand.  You basically accused someone of not being able to read, got quoted multiple times, then deleted the post without an apology or just saying that you misunderstood.  How does that remedy the situation?

[Softly Spoken]

Problem remedied

I don't understand.  You basically accused someone of not being able to read, got quoted multiple times, then deleted the post without an apology or just saying that you misunderstood.  How does that remedy the situation?

Hey be cool, no worries Abiding Dude. 
Actually, I think it was what DottyG wrote about how we hear ourselves in our own phones that sparked my memory of this article, which addressed how other people hear us. So thnx Dotty 

And OP whether you were talking loudly or not, that guy was not polite about the situation.

I know I will be thinking of this thread if my phone rings when I am at the grocery store...