S/O 4 minutes late - Called out when early?

[Iris]

Oopsie's thread reminded me of something that happened a little while ago and I thought I'd offer it for discussion.

A while ago I was going to a course for work in MajorCity a couple of hours away from where I live. The course was scheduled to start at 9am so I looked up trains and planned to arrive about 15 minutes before then. As happens at times, over 10 minutes of that 15 minutes was eaten up because although I arrived at the venue on time there was some difficulty and confusion finding my specific course (there were a LOT on that day) and I was directed in about 3 different directions. I arrived at the course before just 9 to find everyone else already there and seated.

The instructor said "Finally! We've got everyone here and can start!" It's hard to describe his tone of voice but it was definitely a "At last! I've been waiting!" sort of tone. I simply looked at my watch and said "By my watch I've still got a few minutes", signed in and sat down. Note that I was seated, unpacked and ready to go before 9.

So what do ehellions think? I was arriving later than I would have liked, but things happen and I had left extra time for them to happen in so I thought I was all good and he was a bit rude. I've had other people say though that since everyone was there and they were 'waiting' for me I was in the wrong.

[delabela]

I don't see how you can be in the wrong - you were not only on time, you were early.  Maybe the instructor was just overanxious to get things going.  But yeah, a "Finally!" in that context is surprising.

[doodlemor]

You weren't wrong at all, Iris.  You handled the situation perfectly. 

Nine o'clock is nine o'clock.  The instructor was very rude.   Even if you had walked in a few minutes late, his remark would still have been totally out of line.  You are an adult, and the presumption should be that you were unavoidably detained. 

If you had walked in late he should have just continued his lesson as he walked over to your seat and given you the materials.  Many instructors say "welcome" with a big smile to latecomers, but some people might be embarrassed by the extra attention.

I once had something a bit similar happen to me when I had to go to an out of town course that I had to do for my job.  I don't remember why, but I had a terrible, convoluted, stress filled morning and a long drive, and I was sick with something or other besides.

I was late, and I tried to come in quietly and unobtrusively.  The instructor saw me and made some sort of snarky remark in front of the class.  I literally saw red but didn't say anything to him. 

Instead, I just sat and took notes and listened for the whole day without looking up or looking at him.  At some point he tried to come over and make a comment to me when we were doing group work, and I ignored him.

I'm sure that my behavior would not be ehell approved, but hey - I was young and clueless.  Actually, several of the ehell phrases could have diffused the initial situation. 

[Raintree]

I've had other people say though that since everyone was there and they were 'waiting' for me I was in the wrong.

How could you possibly know what time everyone else would be "waiting" for you? They could have all got there at 7:30 AM but if the course starts at 9, it still starts at 9, not the time everyone else arbitrarily decided to get there.

If someone wanted you there by 8:45, then they should have SAID 8:45.

[Amava]

I think your answer was perfect and to the point.

9 is 9.

[PeterM]

I think you handled it perfectly. I really can't stand the whole "On time is late" mentality, at least when it's not expressed to everyone involved before the event in question. If the syllabus said the class started at 9 and the professor hadn't contacted everyone in the class to say otherwise, he and the horse he rode in on can get stuffed for all I care.

Honestly, even if he had contacted everyone to tell them to get there early I'd think he was a twit, but at least he'd have half a leg to stand on. And I'd leave his horse out of it in that scenario.

[Winterlight]

I've had other people say though that since everyone was there and they were 'waiting' for me I was in the wrong.

How could you possibly know what time everyone else would be "waiting" for you? They could have all got there at 7:30 AM but if the course starts at 9, it still starts at 9, not the time everyone else arbitrarily decided to get there.

If someone wanted you there by 8:45, then they should have SAID 8:45.

Agreed. I show up at the appointed time. I may be running early, but if you want me to be at X at 8:51, then tell me that, don't expect me to read your mind.

[oopsie]

This sometimes happens to me in my job in real estate sales.

For example, I have an appointment at 9am to show a house and I get a call at 8:45am from the buyer to check on where I am - they are already there in the driveway waiting. I know it's probably because they're just excited and anxious but at least give me the opportunity to be on time before you call me as though I'm actually late!

I think they may get this expectation because I am often there before them to open the house up and turn on lights, etc. However, sometimes (for whatever reason) it just isn't possible for me to get there before the scheduled appointment. Sometimes, the seller hasn't even left their own house yet either!

[Coley]

I also agree that you handled it fine. Somebody has to walk in last. That doesn't mean they're late or delaying everyone else. You couldn't possibly have known that everyone else was already there.

[oceanus]

Iris, of course you were right.  Just because others were very early doesn't mean you were wrong for being on time (well, actually a couple minutes early).

Reminds me of an experience I haven’t thought of in a long time.  I was in my early 20s and was proud to have gotten an office job at a large corporation.

One day after I’d been there a few weeks, I arrived in the parking lot about 15-20 minutes early.  As I got out of my car, the Personnel Manager (that’s what they were called then) approached me with several other managers.  He frowned and said “What are you doing here so early?”  I didn’t know what to say; I was such a pup.  Then he repeated his question: “WHY are you here so early?”  Then he reminded me that the cafeteria was open and suggested I go there.

Huh?  I felt horribly confused and humiliated.  I went into the ladies’ restroom and stayed there until it was time to go to my desk.  I never did figure out why I’d been called out.  Maybe he was afraid I might try to claim overtime; I have no idea.  But I was intimidated enough to arrive closer to starting time thereafter.

Years later I arrived early at another job and as I passed the conference room (door was closed) I heard some odd noises.  The floor in that hallway wasn't carpeted, and I was wearing heels.  Good thing I didn’t open the door because a few minutes later a man and woman scurried out looking very disheveled and embarrassed.  Didn’t take long for me to figure out what had been going on.     For sometime after that they both went way out of their way to be extra nice.  Guess they were afraid I was going to tell someone - which I didn't.  I just wanted to forget it.

[Piratelvr1121]

Oh wow!! Well someone was getting in some overtime!

[oceanus]

Oh wow!! Well someone was getting in some overtime!

You betcha.

[TootsNYC]

What he should have said was, "Oh, great--let's get an early start, then."

[Mikayla]

I've had other people say though that since everyone was there and they were 'waiting' for me I was in the wrong.

How could you possibly know what time everyone else would be "waiting" for you? They could have all got there at 7:30 AM but if the course starts at 9, it still starts at 9, not the time everyone else arbitrarily decided to get there.

No kidding!  You're supposed to look in your crystal ball, know when the last "on time" person arrives, and make sure that isn't you?  I'd love to know the logic on that one.

[EmmaJ.]

I was sent to a nearby city for a work seminar.  I wanted to avoid morning rush hour traffic and arrived pretty early.  I was seated, watching others arrive and sign in.  The last person arrived and was signing in. 

Instructor:  Finally!  Now let's get started. 
Student:  Oh, I'm so sorry.  What time was the seminar supposed to start? 
Instructor:  9:00.
Student (looking at his watch):  What time is it now?
Instructor:  8:55.
Student:  Then I respectfully withdraw my apology.

I so admired the exchange!  I would never be brave enough to do it though.