Still My Money or Now Her Money?

[Daquiri40]

This happened to me a few years ago and I still wonder if I was rude.  Please settle this for me E-Hellions.

I went on an international trip with my boyfriend and his son-in-law and daughter.  We were on a ferry boat going to another country.  I bought an internet card so I could read my E-Mail as this was a long trip.  I tried using the Internet and it was so slow and frustrating, I gave up.  My BF's daughter was bored so I let her use the Internet card so she pass some time.  I don't remember the exact wording I used when I handed the card over.

A little while passes and I see the daughter sitting with her husband.  I said, "did you use the internet?"  She said no that it was too slow, so she cashed in the Internet card.  I said, "that money is mine."  She gave me back the cash but was miffed at me.  My BF agreed with her that I was rude to ask for the money.

Was I?

[CakeBeret]

Heck no. Of course it was your money. She was rude for trying to bilk cash out of a nice gesture.

[TurtleDove]

Unless I completely misunderstood the situation, you were not rude and I can't really see any scenario where the daughter would be entitled to the money.  I don't know how much money we are talking about, and I may have chosen to just eat the loss to not rock the boat (no pun intended) but the daughter certainly is not entitled to a windfall there.

[MariaE]

I'm of two minds. It depends on whether you loaned her the internet card (expecting to try again yourself later) or whether you gave it to her.

If it was the former, then she was definitely rude and you were fine.

If it was the latter, then I can't quite figure out where the line goes that makes it a gift for her to do with as she pleased. My gut feeling says she's still rude, because presumably the only reason you didn't cash it in yourself was to let her use it, but I'm not sure.

[Miss Unleaded]

I'm of two minds. It depends on whether you loaned her the internet card (expecting to try again yourself later) or whether you gave it to her.

If it was the former, then she was definitely rude and you were fine.

If it was the latter, then I can't quite figure out where the line goes that makes it a gift for her to do with as she pleased. My gut feeling says she's still rude, because presumably the only reason you didn't cash it in yourself was to let her use it, but I'm not sure.

I agree with this.  I know on this forum people often say that once you give something you lose control over it, but this is one of those situations where the rules are not so clear.

[oceanus]

Heck no. Of course it was your money. She was rude for trying to bilk cash out of a nice gesture.

This.  She was wrong.  If she felt the internet was too slow and she didn't want to use it she should have given the card back to you.

So, is there stil tension because of this after a few years?

[Amava]

No!  She was very rude trying to keep it for herself!

You "let her use it", you say. You didn't /give/ it to her to dispose of as she saw fit!

How would she like it if you borrowed her lawnmower and sold it on E-Bay?

[Daquiri40]

My BF has teased me over the years about asking for the money.  I tell him we can agree to disagree.

His daughter is an entitled snowflake.  There were other occasions on the trip that she bragged to us how she was making money on the trip or was great at saving money.  Her father paid for both her and her husband's trip (airfare, accommodations and tours).

I think I was a bit petty but I didn't see how the internet being slow meant she got the cash.  It was about $6 if it matters.

[mstigerlily]

I let her use the Internet card so she pass some time.

This says "loaned" to me.
If she had said she was going to cash it in, would you have asked for it back first?

[Zilla]

I think I might have been less blunt.  I would have said, "What if I wanted to use it again?  Please ask next time and may I have my money back?"
It was tacky of her to do that.  I am surprised you didn't notice her getting up to get the cash back or her saying, "Ugh, this internet sucks, I am going to get a refund." 

[heartmug]

Yes, she was wrong.  Like Zilla said, what made her think you would not want to try later, to use the internet?

[Yarnspinner]

Yowza.  Six dollars or sixty dollars, doesn't matter.  You loaned her the card that belonged to you, hence the money also belonged to you.  Jeesh....she sounds more than entitled.

[delabela]

I can't believe she thought it was hers - it was clearly yours.  I am truly baffled as to her line of thinking. 

[jaxsue]

She does sound entitled. Never in a million years would I think that I'd be justified in turning in the card for cash.

And as for being great at saving money, who wouldn't be if someone else is paying for all this stuff?!

[Amava]

My BF has teased me over the years about asking for the money.  I tell him we can agree to disagree.

He would try that only /once/ with me, it would be shut down with a cold reply about his daughter's manners.  I really have no patience for that sort of thing.