Author Topic: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?  (Read 2194 times)

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Shortylicious

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Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« on: February 12, 2013, 12:00:03 PM »
I got an evite for a close friend's bday party. It's a 'milestone' birthday. The party will be held at an upscale restaurant and the guests are expected to pay for themselves. The cost will end up being $100 per person! I usually bring or send gifts for close friends and family but I'm perplexed as what is expected in this situation. I can't imagine the host expects people to pay for their own meals (something I would never do as a host) AND bring a gift. But I don't want to be the only one there empty-handed. Thoughts?

EmmaJ.

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2013, 12:16:04 PM »
I think bringing just a birthday card would be fine.  But to also bring a small potted plant or bouquet of flowers would be a lovely gesture.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2013, 01:04:09 PM »
This would have to be my 'Call me if you ever need bail money' friend or I wouldn't even go.  $100 for a meal out?  I wouldn't spend that on myself if it was MY milestone birthday.

If I agreed to go to this extravaganza, I would only take a card for the birthday girl.  There is really no place for her to put gifts, anyway.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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DottyG

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2013, 01:25:53 PM »
Quote
The cost will end up being $100 per person

Just out of curiosity, where is this that it costs that much?  Maybe there are cities where this is a normal price for a meal, but it still seems very high.  I've been to really fancy places in cities all over the US (even NYC) and, while the cost can be expensive, I haven't been to one where I had to pay $100 per person (you CAN pay that much of course, but there are options to get something for less, if you desire).

I'm not doubting your story.  I'm just floored at the cost!  Have you looked at the menu?  Surely there has to be some lower cost things on there.  Go online to their site and see.
 
 
 
Edited to fix spelling
 
 
« Last Edit: February 12, 2013, 01:27:27 PM by DottyG »

QueenofAllThings

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2013, 02:28:51 PM »
Chances are that the 'host' has booked a private room and set the menu, and is spreading the cost out among the guests. Tacky, yes, but I doubt the OP can lower costs by having a salad and water.  Maybe there is an open bar thrown in - that always raises the cost.

Anywho, if you choose to go, perhaps you can wrap up an 'experience'. Say, a homemade gift card promising your friend a night of babysitting, or a movie out with you, or an afternoon hiking through a nearby park, or ....

Lynn2000

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2013, 04:00:43 PM »
I agree that your presence there, spending that much money to celebrate with your friend, should be gift enough. To avoid walking in literally empty-handed, you could bring a card. Maybe write a nice memory of your friend in the card.
~Lynn2000

sweetonsno

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2013, 04:29:49 PM »
Holy moly! I am surprised to hear that the cost is that high. I hope, as QueenofAllThings says, you're getting something really special. I vote for a nice card and Token Gift (a small box of chocolate?) or Thoughtful Homemade Something (Queen's ideas about "gift certificates" is a great one, you could also include one of your signature items if you craft). You know your friend and your social group best, so you'd know which option would be the most appreciated.

Shortylicious

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2013, 04:32:31 PM »
OP here...to answer previous poster question: we are in a major city in north east US. It is a pretty expensive city and the host has chosen one of most upscale and historic venues. The meal is a buffet and the price is fixed. Drinks are additional, again to be paid by the guests. It is common for many of the people in their circle of friends to share costs when they go out. It just threw me for a loop when I saw that he chose such an expensive place. 

rose red

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2013, 05:29:06 PM »
I'm not clear on who the "host" is.  Is it the birthday person, or someone else?  If it's the birthday person, I would just bring a card.  If it's someone else hosting, I would bring a token gift. 

Shortylicious

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2013, 05:59:42 PM »
I'm referring to the person who sent the evite (husband of the bday girl) as the 'host'. Altho I use the term loosely consider he is not paying for anything.

DottyG

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2013, 07:23:14 PM »
Yeah, very loosely.  Despite what he thinks, he's actually just an organizer - there's no "hosting" in this.


CookieChica

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2013, 07:25:23 PM »
We recently attended a similar dinner, though it was closer to $60 a person (but in a smaller city in the Midwest). Most people brought just cards although one guy picked up the birthday person and their spouse's check. I would say a card is just fine.

Mikayla

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2013, 12:18:40 PM »
$100 per person and this doesn't include drinks?  I know that's pretty much irrelevant to your question, but my jaw keeps landing on the floor!

Anyway, it sounds like a card would suffice. 

heartmug

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Re: Another twist on: Am I supposed to bring a gift?
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2013, 12:43:34 PM »
I agree that your presence there, spending that much money to celebrate with your friend, should be gift enough. To avoid walking in literally empty-handed, you could bring a card. Maybe write a nice memory of your friend in the card.

POD to all of that. 
The trouble is not that the world is full of fools, it's just that lightening isn't distributed right.  - Mark Twain