My 2 kids (though I'm not sure if the 16year old counts as a kid for feeding purposes) and brothers girlfriends daughter will be the only children in attendance. Lots of brothers friends, Nephew's mom's friends and family, our whole family, and family friends will make up the bulk of the party.
This will be in a regular restaurant, though they do have an enclosed play area so it's a common place for parties.
My husband talked to my brother simply because they are closer than he and I are. There have been many many many faux pas' in the past, and generally I don't say anything, but when I do he's been happy to hear it, primarily because he would have no other way of knowing.
I will go anyway, our boys are just shy of a year apart in age and have a great time together, and I wouldn't punish my nephew for something his dad does, I just find it pretty rude. No matter what the purpose of the party I can't wrap my brain around it being ok to feed 5% of the attendees.