General Etiquette > Dating

Driving and the first date

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Mr NiceGuy:
Hello everyone!  I have a first date with a very nice girl from my office this week (we're in very different departments 6 floors apart, so the co-worker part is not an issue).  Here is the situation.  She lives on the very far north edge of town, and I live much further south.  Our office happens to be the halfway point.

Our date is after work this Wednesday.  She has asked me to show her some things to do on the south side of town as our office will be moving there later this summer and she is unfamiliar with the area.  As such, I am thinking of suggesting that we simply head that direction after work and that I can bring her back to her car (at the office, the halfway point) afterwards.  This is purely logic on my part, but I know it's slightly outside of usual first date etiquette.

Am I correct that the traditional option would be allowing her to go home after work, freshen up, drive to her, pick her up, have the date 40 minutes away, and then drive her home?  With work not ending till 5 PM, I just don't think there's enough time in the evening for that.  But I don't want to only take her halfway home after the date, even if her car is there, if that would be rude or improper.

I would appreciate your input!

First, since it's an after work date, I think she should either drive her car and meet you somewhere on the south side or do what you suggested as to dropping her back off at work where her car is. I find it incredibly time consuming for her to drive home get ready and then you go get her and then drive to the south side especially considering that it's a work night. I'd have suggested dinner and coffee near where you work and do the south end on a Saturday daytime date.

There's absolutely nothing rude or improper about your plan. It's logical and practical. I would be surprised if she's intending to go home between work and the date. That sounds like an enormous pain to have to drive all the way up to get her, then all the way back down south for the date, then all the way up north again to take her home. That would more than double your driving time in most cases, and would make the date run quite late. That's not to say there aren't women out there that would expect or demand it, no matter how ridiculous or inconvenient. But then there's the question of whether you want to date a woman that would. ;)

Anyway, a lot of women prefer NOT to have a guy driving them all the way home on a first date, so there's no sense of....expectation.

Mr NiceGuy:
Thanks to both of you.  I agree that after work dates frequently have their own rules - possibly leaning a bit more towards the tendencies of two busy, working professionals and giving more leeway to time savers and more casual first encounters. 

Obviously if things went well I'd make sure the first weekend date was more planned and possibly do something up north or maybe a longer adventure down south.

Outdoor Girl:
As long as you present it as a suggestion and not a fait accompli, I think your plan is fine.  Although, being the cautious person I am, I might counter with either meeting you somewhere closer to your place with the excuse 'so you don't have to back track'.  Or I might offer to do the driving so I have my own wheels and if things aren't going well, I can give you cab fare and let you find your own way home, since we'll be closer to your place.  But I'm overly cautious like that if I don't know the person well.

Hope it goes well for you!


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