When an acquaintance "overshares" personal information

[Piratelvr1121]

I seem to have become less approachable in the last few years and frankly, that doesn't really bother me too much since I used to have this problem.  One day, when my oldest was a baby, I was walking home from a WIC appointment and this woman I've never met before says "I need to talk to someone, can I talk to you?"  I said sure and turned around since she was walking the opposite way. I proceeded to have my ear bent for the next hour almost two hours and I didn't know how to nicely extricate myself from the situation and back then I wanted to be nice to everyone.

I was treated to a long telling of how she was married to a man who was much older than she and was a nice enough guy but they did not have a very romantic relationship, were not close, she was bisexual and by the time I suddenly remembered I had something to do, it was right when I was getting the feeling she was coming on to me. 

[kareng57]

Sometimes it's not even acquaintances - but borderline-strangers........

Twice (a couple of years apart), when my kids were taking swim lessons at the community pool, I had oversharing mothers trying to befriend me.  Please understand that I was not adverse to making new friends; however, within a few minutes of introduction, both of these moms (their situations were strangely alike) were telling me tales about how they were being persecuted by:

- their landlords
- their kids' teachers
- their exes (kids' fathers)
- their social workers
- their ex-in-laws
- their doctors/medical clinics

you get the idea - and this included lots of TMI stuff.  Initially, I'd try to be helpful - "perhaps you need to talk to the housing authority about that, this is their number" for example.  But that never really worked, all they would want to do was complain continually.  Eventually I took the coward's way out - finding somewhere else to be while my kids were taking their lessons.  I certainly didn't like it, but didn't really know what else I could do.

[oceanus]

Most over-sharers and other whiners don't really want solutions.  If you offer ideas, they come up with reasons why it won't work.  Or, worse, they use it as an excuse to have further contact and "bond"   
::shudder::

[siamesecat2965]

Most over-sharers and other whiners don't really want solutions.  If you offer ideas, they come up with reasons why it won't work.  Or, worse, they use it as an excuse to have further contact and "bond"   
::shudder::

I agree. Or in the case of the few I know, don't have a lot of common sense, which I quite honestly, have no patience for. I've had them go on endlessly about something, and said to them "well, why don't you try this?" and its like the lightbulb goes on. I think they're so wrapped up in their own self-made misery, they lose sight of simple solutions to their problems.

[Jones]

Not all oversharers are negative or whiners--this weekend I ran into the relative of one of my coworkers and she proceeded to share updates on a number of her other relatives, including acting out her grandson's imitation of a popular cartoon. Yes, she was imitating a child imitator, a child I've never met, and sharing stories on a bunch of other people I've never met; I nodded politely as all the characters in her story got mixed up in my mind.

[BeagleMommy]

Stories like these are why I always have a book with me in the doctor's office or headphones at the gym.

[siamesecat2965]

Not all oversharers are negative or whiners--this weekend I ran into the relative of one of my coworkers and she proceeded to share updates on a number of her other relatives, including acting out her grandson's imitation of a popular cartoon. Yes, she was imitating a child imitator, a child I've never met, and sharing stories on a bunch of other people I've never met; I nodded politely as all the characters in her story got mixed up in my mind.

See, now, I don't consider this to be oversharing, really.  I guess it is, but to me, someone who overshares, is discussing something that is more personal, such as health, marital or other sensitive issues.  But I do have encountered people who will go on endlessly about their families, friends, and others I don't know at all.

[CrochetFanatic]

Books and headsets don't stop everyone...I had someone I only knew at work start to talk to me when we were on break and I was trying to read.  She didn't really like me (the feeling was mutual), but she liked to talk about her husband a lot, and it was at the point where my teeth would involuntarily clench together whenever I heard anyone say "my husband".  I got over that soon after I no longer had to talk to her.

I responded to her statements with "Mm-hmm", "yeah?", and the occasional glance and nod, but I continued to try to read.  I had been in there before she arrived, so I was reading when she got there, and I was hoping she'd take the hint.  After a short time, she plucked the book out of my hands and closed it, losing my page, and informed me that I was being very rude to her.  Maybe I was, I don't know.  Send me to ehell in a hand-basket if you like, but I was past caring.

Her: You don't keep reading when someone's talking to you. 
Me:    *takes back the book, finds the place again, and marks it with a stray magazine insert* Don't do that again. *heads back up front, even though there's still about ten minutes on my break*

Just telling her nicely that I didn't really feel like talking was never received well.  This incident happened because sometime before that I had tried telling her nicely that I didn't feel well (true), and didn't really feel like talking (also true, but not because I didn't feel well!).  She was highly offended by that, and for a few days afterwards she would start conversations with me with a snippy, "Are you feeling well enough to talk to me today, or should I come back later?"  Well, after hearing that, who would want to talk to her?

[Piratelvr1121]

  Boy, someone's got a pair don't they? 

[oceanus]

After a short time, she plucked the book out of my hands and closed it, losing my page, and informed me that I was being very rude to her. 

  What??! 

Words.....fail.......me.

[siamesecat2965]

After a short time, she plucked the book out of my hands and closed it, losing my page, and informed me that I was being very rude to her. 

  What??! 

Words.....fail.......me.

I work with someone like this, but she only yammers at me when I'm trying to relax before starting work. I go from job #1 to job #2, and usually have maybe 30 mins by the time i get there, to eat and so on before I have to punch in. She will come in, and start talking. I am fine with hi, how are you, but when its obvious i'm reading or looking at my phone, please take the hint and stop!

[oceanus]

Talking/yammering away while someoone is trying to focus on something else is bad enough, but grabbing another person's book to make them listen to you is another.

Whoa.