I find all the threads on lateness fascinating. My parents, dad in particular, are prompt to the point of occasionally being perhaps a bit too
early, and they raised my siblings and I to be the same way. I tend to leave a generous window whenever I have to be somewhere by a certain time, and I get a bit frantic if circumstances somehow still get in the way. (And I then apologize way too much, I'm told.
However ... as I posted in one of the other threads, I married into a family that's very different. Or at least one member is.
My MIL is chronically late. Tell her dinner's at 5 p.m, if you're lucky she's there by 6 p.m. Tell her you need to pick her up to go somewhere at 9 a.m., you'll be lucky if she's ready to go by 9:30 p.m.
Nothing works. You can't shame her into being on time, because she's very, very sure that everyone should wait for her. She is The Matriarch. You (general you) owe it to her. This is particularly true for her children. I heard her tell SIL once, when SIL was trying desperately to get her out the door to a reservation on time, "I waited 9 months for you, you can wait 15 minutes for me!" (Actually, it wound up being more like a half hour ...)
It's never anything like an emergency. She's usually puttering around, making a (non-emergency) last minute phone call, doing her hair, changing something around in the house. There's just no sense of urgency in the slightest.
The situation has always boggled my mind. DH and his sister aren't like this, although they're not as obsessively prompt as my family. As you can imagine, it drives my parents NUTS when they get to a mutual event and wait and wait and WAIT for MIL. They never say anything to her, though. (Doesn't help the dynamic that MIL is much older than my folks.)
Much of DH's family and long-time friends of the family just expect it. "Oh, that's how mom is!" Leaving without Mom would be unthinkable, and you can't make her move faster. They seem to find it funny and a bit quirky, whereas my family considers it horribly rude and disrespectful.
How DO you deal with someone like this?