Op again!
I am really touched by everyone's support and kind words here. I truly am. So thank you and thank you and thank you again. I am actually on another forum for group support for people with my condition and I don't think I receive as much support there as here. Most likely it is because everyone there are all too scared and upset.
Reading all yr kind words and thoughts really helps to brighten my day. Also, since mid last week I can actually feel the baby kicking (I am at 18 weeks now) and it has been giving me great comfort.
I was so afraid to bond with the baby or to have any feelings towards it before. The guilt and fear were killing me and making me emotionally unstable. But now with the kicking, I have started bonding with the baby and actually feel "pregnancy contentment".
Emotinally, I am in a very good place right now. I pray that my physical body will follow likewise
Thank you again and I am humbled by everyone's kindness.