Author Topic: Bullying in college-- how to handle? TINY Update 49, 62, 71, Final Update 86  (Read 19424 times)

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HonorH

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #30 on: February 13, 2013, 01:06:47 PM »
Yeah, this guy sounds familiar. I've had him in every junior high class I've ever taught. I mean, really? Your instructor should be the one dealing with his interruptions in class. I thought one of the perks of being a college prof is being able to make twits go away.

Your strategy is simple, though: Ignore, ignore, ignore. This guy no longer exists in your world.
William wondered why he always disliked people who said "no offense meant." Maybe it was because they found it easier to say "no offense meant" than actually to refrain from giving offense.

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AnnaJ

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #31 on: February 13, 2013, 01:11:44 PM »
When you hear the thud of hooves, they're usually from a horse--not a zebra.

As a community college instructor, I have to say there are a lot of zebras out there.

Ok, so let's say that he's got a disability of some sort, or that he had a bad experience with alien abduction, or whatever. Does it really matter the reason he's being like this? The OP still has to decide to stop reacting to this guy, and his disruptions still have to be dealt with (or not, as is appropriate to the situation :) )

It depends, at my college, whether or not the student is registered with our Disability Resource Center (in the U.S.).  If so, then I can contact the DRC for help with managing the student's behavior. 

If he/she is not registered, I have two choices per my dean - I can either kick them out as a disruptive student or allow them to remain in class.  Many instructors are reluctant to kick out a student for behavior that is not dangerous or threatening.  Since the instructor has already talked to the student to no avail, odds are the behavior won't be modified if the student stays in class.

The issue of behavior modification is why a disability or no disability matters - there many ways I can deal with student issues in a classroom, but honestly most are not effective on students with certain disabilities. 

To HonorH, yes that's definitely one of the perks, but most professors use it sparingly...and  I second the ignore advice.

onyonryngs

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #32 on: February 13, 2013, 01:12:24 PM »
When you hear the thud of hooves, they're usually from a horse--not a zebra.

As a community college instructor, I have to say there are a lot of zebras out there.

If that's part of the community college experience then the instructor should be well versed on how to deal with it and quiet down the disruptive elements.

Moray

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #33 on: February 13, 2013, 01:14:14 PM »
When you hear the thud of hooves, they're usually from a horse--not a zebra.

As a community college instructor, I have to say there are a lot of zebras out there.

Ok, so let's say that he's got a disability of some sort, or that he had a bad experience with alien abduction, or whatever. Does it really matter the reason he's being like this? The OP still has to decide to stop reacting to this guy, and his disruptions still have to be dealt with (or not, as is appropriate to the situation :) )

It depends, at my college, whether or not the student is registered with our Disability Resource Center (in the U.S.).  If so, then I can contact the DRC for help with managing the student's behavior. 

If he/she is not registered, I have two choices per my dean - I can either kick them out as a disruptive student or allow them to remain in class.  Many instructors are reluctant to kick out a student for behavior that is not dangerous or threatening.  Since the instructor has already talked to the student to no avail, odds are the behavior won't be modified if the student stays in class.

The issue of behavior modification is why a disability or no disability matters - there many ways I can deal with student issues in a classroom, but honestly most are not effective on students with certain disabilities. 

To HonorH, yes that's definitely one of the perks, but most professors use it sparingly...and  I second the ignore advice.

But that's not something that the OP will, or should be, privy to. All she can do is modify her own behavior. Speculation on whether or not this guy has some sort of disability is completely non-productive because it doesn't change what, if anything the OP does.
Utah

LeveeWoman

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #34 on: February 13, 2013, 01:19:24 PM »
When you hear the thud of hooves, they're usually from a horse--not a zebra.

As a community college instructor, I have to say there are a lot of zebras out there.

Ok, so let's say that he's got a disability of some sort, or that he had a bad experience with alien abduction, or whatever. Does it really matter the reason he's being like this? The OP still has to decide to stop reacting to this guy, and his disruptions still have to be dealt with (or not, as is appropriate to the situation :) )

It depends, at my college, whether or not the student is registered with our Disability Resource Center (in the U.S.).  If so, then I can contact the DRC for help with managing the student's behavior. 

If he/she is not registered, I have two choices per my dean - I can either kick them out as a disruptive student or allow them to remain in class.  Many instructors are reluctant to kick out a student for behavior that is not dangerous or threatening.  Since the instructor has already talked to the student to no avail, odds are the behavior won't be modified if the student stays in class.

The issue of behavior modification is why a disability or no disability matters - there many ways I can deal with student issues in a classroom, but honestly most are not effective on students with certain disabilities. 

To HonorH, yes that's definitely one of the perks, but most professors use it sparingly...and  I second the ignore advice.

But that's not something that the OP will, or should be, privy to. All she can do is modify her own behavior. Speculation on whether or not this guy has some sort of disability is completely non-productive because it doesn't change what, if anything the OP does.

Agreed! Further speculation on this angle is not related to etiquette and could get the thread locked.

AnnaJ

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #35 on: February 13, 2013, 01:24:56 PM »
When you hear the thud of hooves, they're usually from a horse--not a zebra.

As a community college instructor, I have to say there are a lot of zebras out there.

Ok, so let's say that he's got a disability of some sort, or that he had a bad experience with alien abduction, or whatever. Does it really matter the reason he's being like this? The OP still has to decide to stop reacting to this guy, and his disruptions still have to be dealt with (or not, as is appropriate to the situation :) )

It depends, at my college, whether or not the student is registered with our Disability Resource Center (in the U.S.).  If so, then I can contact the DRC for help with managing the student's behavior. 

If he/she is not registered, I have two choices per my dean - I can either kick them out as a disruptive student or allow them to remain in class.  Many instructors are reluctant to kick out a student for behavior that is not dangerous or threatening.  Since the instructor has already talked to the student to no avail, odds are the behavior won't be modified if the student stays in class.

The issue of behavior modification is why a disability or no disability matters - there many ways I can deal with student issues in a classroom, but honestly most are not effective on students with certain disabilities. 

To HonorH, yes that's definitely one of the perks, but most professors use it sparingly...and  I second the ignore advice.

But that's not something that the OP will, or should be, privy to. All she can do is modify her own behavior. Speculation on whether or not this guy has some sort of disability is completely non-productive because it doesn't change what, if anything the OP does.

Sorry, slow this morning, I though you were asking about whether or not his behavior mattered regarding the existence of a disability.

I absolutely agree with you - as I said above, I'm not sure the other student's behavior impacts the OP's ability to get an education.  If the instructor doesn't dis-enroll the other student, the OP can only control her own classroom experience.

MrTango

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #36 on: February 13, 2013, 02:10:27 PM »
I'm always confused when people jump to the conclusion that a jerk must have some sort of disability.  Sometimes they're not on the spectrum, they're just jerks who think they can get away with being rude.  Period.

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I wouldn't care if the person was disabled.  Bullying/harassment is not acceptable behavior.  Period.

If he has a disability that prevents him from being able to control his behavior in public, he should not be allowed in public without adequate supervision.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #37 on: February 13, 2013, 02:19:08 PM »
I'm always confused when people jump to the conclusion that a jerk must have some sort of disability.  Sometimes they're not on the spectrum, they're just jerks who think they can get away with being rude.  Period.

The thing is, though, that he IS getting away with it.  And since he hasn't been stopped before now, that ups the chances that he really does have a reason the powers that be are just going along with it.  Him having a disability may be one such reason - not that people with disabilities necessarily are disruptive (or should be), but that administration sometimes hesitates to discipline someone in a protected class because they fear repercussions and accusations of prejudice.

I don't think we can draw the conclusion that he *does* have a disability, just that he might.  And the longer he gets away with this kind of thing and the administration turns a blind eye, the more likely it is that the administration isn't the answer to how to get this guy to stop.

Yvaine

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #38 on: February 13, 2013, 02:26:55 PM »
I'm always confused when people jump to the conclusion that a jerk must have some sort of disability.  Sometimes they're not on the spectrum, they're just jerks who think they can get away with being rude.  Period.

The thing is, though, that he IS getting away with it.  And since he hasn't been stopped before now, that ups the chances that he really does have a reason the powers that be are just going along with it.  Him having a disability may be one such reason - not that people with disabilities necessarily are disruptive (or should be), but that administration sometimes hesitates to discipline someone in a protected class because they fear repercussions and accusations of prejudice.

I don't think we can draw the conclusion that he *does* have a disability, just that he might.  And the longer he gets away with this kind of thing and the administration turns a blind eye, the more likely it is that the administration isn't the answer to how to get this guy to stop.

This is getting medical and legal and maybe political. I think maybe we should stick to what the OP can do to cope with this guy being obnoxious.

citadelle

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #39 on: February 13, 2013, 02:36:53 PM »
At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I wouldn't care if the person was disabled.  Bullying/harassment is not acceptable behavior.  Period.

If he has a disability that prevents him from being able to control his behavior in public, he should not be allowed in public without adequate supervision.

You might be very surprised what a BIP (behavior intervention plan) will allow a student to do.

bopper

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #40 on: February 13, 2013, 02:38:06 PM »
I would go to campus security or the counseling center and ask how to handle this.

There is somebody on your campus that can help out, and if not, call the main campus security office and ask them what to do.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2013, 02:40:00 PM by bopper »

Twik

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #41 on: February 13, 2013, 02:46:43 PM »
So what if Frank says you aren't doing something that you are doing?

Well, she is probably a single young woman who is open occasionally to being asked out by young gentlemen. In which case, having it spread around that she and Otto (as an example) are an item means (1) that young men who find her attractive will not ask her out, because they think she is "taken", and (2) if she is seen out with another young man, the word will go around that she is cheating on Otto, and is not a nice person. Confusion ensues.
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Roe

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #42 on: February 13, 2013, 02:53:57 PM »
He's bothering because you care too much.  Yep, you care about what he's saying a bit too much and he likes to have that control.  Just ignore him.  It doesn't matter what he says.  Even if it's the most outlandish thing.  To respond is to give him the control he seeks.  I'd give him the cut direct.  Just pretend he doesn't exist and hopefully pretty soon, for you, he won't. 
« Last Edit: February 13, 2013, 02:55:32 PM by Roe »

mrkitty

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #43 on: February 13, 2013, 03:04:36 PM »
I would go to campus security or the counseling center and ask how to handle this.

There is somebody on your campus that can help out, and if not, call the main campus security office and ask them what to do.


I second this.

I would also like to add that if he insists upon acting like a junior high schooler, he should be treated like one. Frankly, it's nobodies business whether the kid has a disability or not. I think it is irrelevant. I think everyone in a college class has a responsibility to behave respectfully and to create an atmosphere conducive to learning. If he's being disruptive and the instructor lets this continue, it needs to be reported up the chain until something is done about it. And if it turns out that he does have some kind of disability, then the school needs to take steps to deal with his situation and make arrangements to supply him an education without disrupting the other students. But, Nikko-Chan, that's not something you have to/should worry about. Just feel free to ignore him, and if it is impossible to do so, I urge you to escalate reporting his behavior to the proper officials. You don't have to question whether he's got a disability - it's not yours or anyone else's business - but you CAN report his behavior. And you should, if it is disruptive, harassing or dangerous to you.

If he's just being annoying and you can ignore him, then you should. Eventually, he'll get tired and leave you alone if you don't provide him the entertainment value he's looking for by seeking a rise out of you. But if he doesn't, and there's more to this (on his end), then you should report. I hope it gets better for you. You deserve a quality education.

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zoidberg

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Re: Bullying in college-- how to handle?
« Reply #44 on: February 13, 2013, 03:55:00 PM »
There are a lot of unpleasant people out there who neither have a disability, nor are they predators. They are annoying and a pain to deal with, though.