Bullying in college-- how to handle? TINY Update 49, 62, 71, Final Update 86

[Moray]

There are a lot of unpleasant people out there who neither have a disability, nor are they predators. They are annoying and a pain to deal with, though.

Yup. In dealing with others, it's usually best to take things at face value and focus on the things we can influence; like how we react to annoying people. Psyching yourself out or convincing yourself he's totally a predator or some sort of dangerous fiend is of negligible value. (OP, I know you're not the one who brought this up).

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and sometimes (almost always, in fact) an annoying jerk is just an annoying jerk.

[BeagleMommy]

Nikko-chan, you are not being rude by ignoring this buffoon.  The rumors will not make a difference to anyone that matters.

As long as you ignore him you are not giving him what he wants.  That being a reaction to what he is doing.  It is, more than likely, driving him crazy.  Eventually, he'll get bored and will move on to another "nice" person.

[bonyk]

I would stand up to him directly about his in class behavior.  Once you confront him on that, I bet others in your class back you up.  After that, he'll avoid you.

Try the 'When you. . . I feel . . .  I want' approach.  Next time he yells out a ridiculous comment, just calmly look at him and say, "When you interrupt Professor, I feel upset that my learning has been disturbed.  I want you to stop."

[JoyinVirginia]

One other suggestion, not ehell approved, but effective.  If you cannot ignore obnoxious guys antics, say ” you are a real donkey (except use other term). Don't talk to me ever again.” 
Then don't acknowledge him ever.

[Nikko-chan]

I have decided not to give the teacher another chance to get this issue resolved, after what Joe pulled in class today. Or rather, yesterday. Teacher pulled up an image from an artist, and told us to copy it, to get used to drawing. It was actually reverse drawing... shade in the paper lightly and erase what was white on the drawing, shade in the rest. Well the drawing had crosshatching. I raised my hand and asked the Professor "Do we need to do crosshatching as well?"

Joe butted it with his own question, got it answered, I tried to ask my question again, Joe butted in again, and then the professor yelled at him. Joe got all butthurt and sulked for awhile. For about ten minutes folks, we had peace and quiet.

 But after I got done with my classes I went to the office of... well he's not our Dean but he's the guy you go to with this sort of stuff, and I told him everything. We have school off Monday, and he's not going to be in Wed. so he told me to remind him the Wed. after next and he would get it resolved. I am so happy right now!

[chibichan]

Bravo Nikko-chan !

You do.not. have to put up with this . The teacher is failing you and the rest of the class by not stopping this jerk dead in his tracks after the first incident .

Jerk obviously feels no fear about getting kicked out of class for good . Do not hesitate to go to anyone and everyone if he escalates ...and it sounds like he probably will .

It is not rude to ignore him , nor is it rude to tell him in no uncertain terms to go away and leave you alone .

[AnnaJ]

Bravo Nikko-chan !

You do.not. have to put up with this . The teacher is failing you and the rest of the class by not stopping this jerk dead in his tracks after the first incident .

Jerk obviously feels no fear about getting kicked out of class for good . Do not hesitate to go to anyone and everyone if he escalates ...and it sounds like he probably will .

It is not rude to ignore him , nor is it rude to tell him in no uncertain terms to go away and leave you alone .

I'm wondering what you think the instructor should be doing.  According to the original post the instructor didn't give in when the other student tried to negotiate a group project, and the OP said in the update that the instructor chastised the other student when he interrupted the OP's questions. 

From what the OP has posted it sounds as though the instructor is responding but the student is still creating problems - and really, there is a limit to what the instructor can do.  Unlike a public school the presumption is that students are adults and there isn't a discipline structure in place - college attendance isn't required, in the U.S. there are laws in place that forbid the school from contacting parents (as there should be) - because the presumption is that students are capable of behaving correctly.

So it comes down to kicking the student out of class, which is not always that simple.

[Nikko-chan]

Bravo Nikko-chan !

You do.not. have to put up with this . The teacher is failing you and the rest of the class by not stopping this jerk dead in his tracks after the first incident .

Jerk obviously feels no fear about getting kicked out of class for good . Do not hesitate to go to anyone and everyone if he escalates ...and it sounds like he probably will .

It is not rude to ignore him , nor is it rude to tell him in no uncertain terms to go away and leave you alone .

I'm wondering what you think the instructor should be doing.  According to the original post the instructor didn't give in when the other student tried to negotiate a group project, and the OP said in the update that the instructor chastised the other student when he interrupted the OP's questions. 

From what the OP has posted it sounds as though the instructor is responding but the student is still creating problems - and really, there is a limit to what the instructor can do.  Unlike a public school the presumption is that students are adults and there isn't a discipline structure in place - college attendance isn't required, in the U.S. there are laws in place that forbid the school from contacting parents (as there should be) - because the presumption is that students are capable of behaving correctly.

So it comes down to kicking the student out of class, which is not always that simple.

Actually, most colleges have a system in place for disruptive students. Ours is the following:

1. Student will be taken aside and warned that their behavior is disruptive.

2. Repeated infractions will be brought to the attention of the dean (this is from before they branched out and they left it in there i guess, considering our little offshoot of maincampus doesn't have a dean) and it will be investigated. Refusal to cooperate and or confrontational behavior may result in security being called who will then remove student from class.

3. Once dean is notified or a student is removed, a student will be advised of his or her due process rights. The dean and other personnell will decide further procedures.

[Hillia]

Here's what I would expect:  after Joe threatened to disrupt the class if hd didn't get his way, I would expect the teacher to take him aside and say, "here are the rules for my class.  You do not interrupt me.  You do not interrupt other students.  You do not disrupt my class time.  If you do, I will ask you to leave the room.  You may return when you can behave in an appropriate manner".  Yelling at Joe after the fact, but continuing to respond when he interrupts, is not helping the situation.  Nine students are being deprived of a class that they paid for because of one jerk.  He is essentially stealing at least a part of their tuition.o

[Sharnita]

Iwould expect that if the student will not let the prof conduct the class then security would be called to remove the student. 

[camlan]

It seems that the professor tried, over a period of days, to control the "bully" student.

But not all students will listen. As a teaching assistant, I had to deal with a few of these. Sometimes, the more you try to get them to shut up, the more they disrupt the class.

When the professor's usual tactics didn't work, he should have sough assistance--from his department head, or the Dean, or whatever office on campus would deal with this type of thing.

[MrTango]

Iwould expect that if the student will not let the prof conduct the class then security would be called to remove the student.

Yes, that's how my college would have handled it.  Also, if a student had to be removed from class by the campus police, it nearly always ended up with the student being booked in the county jail for disorderly conduct.

[Sharnita]

Iwould expect that if the student will not let the prof conduct the class then security would be called to remove the student.

Yes, that's how my college would have handled it.  Also, if a student had to be removed from class by the campus police, it nearly always ended up with the student being booked in the county jail for disorderly conduct.

Not to mention losing the tuition for that class.

[onyonryngs]

If there was a system in place, why was etiquette advice needed?  Why not just follow through with the documented procedure?

[Sharnita]

If there was a system in place, why was etiquette advice needed?  Why not just follow through with the documented procedure?

The OP isn't the prof.