Author Topic: Bullying in college-- how to handle? TINY Update 49, 62, 71, Final Update 86  (Read 19214 times)

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WillyNilly

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I'm sorry it came to that. But you know what? You need to look out for you right now. Clearly school wasn't a path that was working for you, now. You can always go back - it will always be there. But for now, take care of your health, your confidence and your happiness. Its harder to make it without a formal education, but by no means is it impossible.

PastryGoddess

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You said this school was a small satellite of a larger school.  The campus you are attending may not want to do anything, but I'm sure the main campus would like to know what's going on.

artk2002

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I'm sorry that it came to this. Please, though, do a formal withdrawal and tell them why.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

guihong

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You said this school was a small satellite of a larger school.  The campus you are attending may not want to do anything, but I'm sure the main campus would like to know what's going on.

And so would the press in your city.



Knitterly

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You said this school was a small satellite of a larger school.  The campus you are attending may not want to do anything, but I'm sure the main campus would like to know what's going on.

And so would the press in your city.

I agree with this.

I think you should formally withdraw.  A letter may get lost by the small campus, but not likely by the big campus.  And definitely write to your local press about it.  I'm sure they'd love to get their hands on this story.

dawbs

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I am going to echo others in saying that you should find another way to address this.

First and foremost, formally dropping/withdrawing is th best way of making sure that you have the option of returning in the future (and it helps financial aid and all that jazz).
It's also the best way of making it clear that your complaint not being heard is a cause/effect.

This is where, at my employer, academic appeals (for refunds, etc) start. 

You spoke to the dean of the tiny campus...he was dismissive.
Time to speak to the dean of students or someone else w/ authority.
(and, regardless, use this thread, create a document that lists dates and times of incidents and details the incidents in a detached fashion--you may need it in the future))

fountainsoflettuce

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You need to put on big girl underware and speak to the Dean of Students at the main campus (and follow up with a written letter of complaint) and take the necessary steps to formally withdraw.  Otherwise, on your academic record, you'll flunk.  If you've been in school for 4 years and  don't have an associates degree, plus the F's you'll receive this semester, you will have a very hard time enrolling in a different school.  Not to mention, whether you withdraw or flunk, you will still be required to pay your student loans (assuming you have them).  Don't make the situation worse by your own voluntary inaction.

CharlieBraun

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You need to put on big girl underware and speak to the Dean of Students at the main campus (and follow up with a written letter of complaint) and take the necessary steps to formally withdraw.  Otherwise, on your academic record, you'll flunk.  If you've been in school for 4 years and  don't have an associates degree, plus the F's you'll receive this semester, you will have a very hard time enrolling in a different school.  Not to mention, whether you withdraw or flunk, you will still be required to pay your student loans (assuming you have them).  Don't make the situation worse by your own voluntary inaction.

ITA.  This is outstanding advice, and I sincerely hope that you take it.  This is your future that has been put at stake, by bullies.  I put the flaccid dean of students right in there as well.
"We ate the pies."

TurtleDove

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It's been a while since I read this thread but my recollection is that I didn't see bullying.  I saw a guy being somewhat of a jerk, but people do that.  OP, I think you have gotten some good advice - you need to actually withdraw from classes or you could really be digging yourself a hole. 

BarensMom

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Turtledove, he lifted a female student against her will in front of other students.  He also ran a brush over the OP's project, which could have caused damage and affected her grade.

WillyNilly

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OP you don't "need to" formally withdraw. Do not let anyone here push you around if its upsetting to you. You should withdraw formally, but you don't "need to" - no one is going to fine you or hunt you down or anything if you just drop out. Hundreds of millions of people drop out of college all the time and life goes on.

When you are ready to go back, which might be next year, 10 years from now, or maybe never, may I suggest online classes (at an accredited college). They are more work, but your interactions with other students is moderated and most of your interactions are between you and your instructor directly. They are also IME more affordable.

Judah

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Turtledove, he lifted a female student against her will in front of other students.  He also ran a brush over the OP's project, which could have caused damage and affected her grade.

He didn't lift the student up bodily, he tried to "pick her up". In other words, he flirted with her. 

Well, I guess a little clarification is needed. The friend who called me, Thomas, didn't know the words to describe what happened (English isn't his first language). When he said picking up, he meant "flirting with" so basically Joe tried to ask Jamie out. ::) Yeah, that went over real well. Jamie pretty much told him she wasn't interested.

I haven't seen any bullying described, only, as Turtledove said, a guy acting like a jerk.
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jellyjar

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My dh made the mistake of just dropping out of community college without formally withdrawing.  He didn't realize that not doing the paperwork would mean automatic failure in his courses.  Not only did it really hurt his GPA when he went back years later, but he was asked about it on an interview.  He was a straight A student when he returned and still his grades took a hit from those F's.  You don't have to fight the battle if you don't want to, but it will have future consequences is you ever need to use your credits or plan to take other courses in your lifetime. It is not hard to withdraw so I wouldn't let your emotions now ruin your education later.

oogyda

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I'm afraid I don't understand why you are dropping out instead of dropping only this class.  It seems that you should be close to finishing your degree and it seems extremely self-defeating to just stop going. 

I, along with everyone else, do offer you sympathy and a certain amount of understanding, but that seems like an extreme reaction to one boy in one class. 

Remember, people who succeed *in spite of* adverse situations are often highly respected. 
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.

Moray

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I'm afraid I don't understand why you are dropping out instead of dropping only this class.  It seems that you should be close to finishing your degree and it seems extremely self-defeating to just stop going. 

I, along with everyone else, do offer you sympathy and a certain amount of understanding, but that seems like an extreme reaction to one boy in one class. 

Remember, people who succeed *in spite of* adverse situations are often highly respected.

That's a good point. Leaving school entirely instead of withdrawing from one class seems a little like cutting off one's nose to spite one's face.
Utah