Stepped in a big pile of Facebook UPDATE

[weeblewobble]

I recently reconnected with Jim, a high school acquaintance who joined my church.  (His dad is a long-time member.)  I friended him on Facebook months ago. Every once in a while, we'll like each other's statuses, but we don't chat or PM or anything like that.  A week ago, I noticed that I got a PM from Jim which sounded suspiciously like spam.  (It was one of those "Would you spend two minutes watching a youtube video if it would change your life?" spiels.)  Plus, it broke with our usual Facebook interactions.

Thinking that Jim's account had been compromised, I mentioned it when I saw him at church on Sunday, asking, "Hey, did your account get hacked?  I got what looked like spam in a PM from you."  He said, "Huh, I don't think so, but I'll look into it."  And of course, yesterday, I get another PM from him saying, "No, I haven't been hacked, but I'd really like you to look at this video.  Blahblahblah, bad MLM sales pitch."

Dang it.

Now, I'm a little embarrassed that I inadvertently called his "business plan" spam.  But, it was an honest reaction, and I have no interest in this "life-changing" product.  I won't apologize for my reaction, but I am wondering if I should follow up with a no-thanks, or should I let my original, "Hey, this is spam." reaction stand as my no?

FTR: If Jim persists with sending me these messages, I'm willing to unfriend him, because no acquaintanceship is worth being hassled in my inbox.

[Shoo]

You called his "business plan" spam because that's exactly what it is.  He's trying to hook you into something not quite on the level, probably an MLM.

I think you should probably just say, "No thanks.  I am definitely not interested."  And keep repeating as needed until he finally leaves you alone about it.

[Lynn2000]

I would not apologize or even mention it to him again (on person or on FB). If he brings it up either place, you can just politely tell him you're not interested. And escalate from there if necessary. I don't think you did anything wrong or rude.

[Softly Spoken]

*chuckling*
Sorry, but based on the title of this thread I was expecting far more drama.

Your calling his message spam says more about his message/marketing technique than it does about you!

You didn't step in anything, unless you count the steaming pile of pushiness he left in your inbox.

You are not obligated to give his sales pitch any attention. If you think your polite refusal will be accepted and cause him to stop sending you annoying messages like that, then by all means let him know that he needs to peddle his MLM wares elsewhere. If you refuse his pitch and he persists, then he is an idiot and you should feel no guilt in cutting him loose or at the very least tweaking your filters/settings.

Intellectually, I understand the importance of persistence when it comes to sales, but OTOH I never saw why people couldn't just appreciate the hint to not waste their efforts and see the value in moving their time and attention to a more viable target- er I mean customer. 

[oceanus]

I would not apologize or even mention it to him again (on person or on FB). If he brings it up either place, you can just politely tell him you're not interested. And escalate from there if necessary. I don't think you did anything wrong or rude.

This.  I wouldn't bring it up again.

[weeblewobble]

Well, Jim just sent me another pitch PM, so he has been defriended. 

What really stinks about this is that Jim is trying to sell me weight loss products.  Since Christmas, I have done a sort of total body overhaul and have lost a significant amount of weight.  I have posted a little bit about it on facebook.  (Funny gym stories, "Hey, look I fit into this dress I haven't worn since before my kids were born!" and that sort of thing.) And I feel like he's targeting me for the weight loss products because of my posts. I do not like that.

So Jim has been defriended. I anticipate him commenting on it the next time I see him.  And I may let him know what I think of his sales tactics.  I will be icily polite.

[blarg314]

Just tell him that you only use Facebook for social contacts.

Or, if you're a good actor, Evilblarg suggests bursting out in tears and sobbing "You think I'm fat!" if he brings it up.

[EllenS]

And I feel like he's targeting me for the weight loss products because of my posts. I do not like that.

No, he's targeting you because he's targeting everyone he has access to.  That is what that type of marketing does.

If he brings it up again (he likely will), I would see nothing wrong with saying that exact sentence above, followed by, "do not contact me about this again."

[Mikayla]

And I feel like he's targeting me for the weight loss products because of my posts. I do not like that.

No, he's targeting you because he's targeting everyone he has access to.  That is what that type of marketing does.

If he brings it up again (he likely will), I would see nothing wrong with saying that exact sentence above, followed by, "do not contact me about this again."

I sort of disagree.  On the first, weight loss products are not the same as kitchenware or candles or timeshares.  There'd be no reason to send this to someone who is skinny and always has been.  Now that I think about it, I'd guess anyone receiving this would be offended.  It's basically saying "here, this might help".

And on the second, I don't see why OP needs to bring her own weight struggles/success into it.  If she wants to, great, but I wouldn't.  I think the defriending makes it clear where she stands on the subject.

[TurtleDove]

I don't know what the products were, and absolutely support the OP in defriending someone who is marketing to her after she expressed she isn't interested, but I don't think the OP should be upset that Jim is targeting her becuase of her weight.  I suspect he is targeting everyone he knows. 

As an example, I have an aquiantance who has continuously sent me personal messages, called me on the phone, and outright posted to my facebook wall about her products that are for weightloss, I suppose, but also touted as "this will help you reach your optimal fitness and feel your best!"  It's not an indication to me that she thinks I need to lose weight, but rather that I am someone she knows who is interested in reaching optimal fitness.  Now, I ended up having to be pretty blunt with her that I am not interested in the products she is selling, but never did I think that she was targeting me because she thinks I am fat.

Congratulations on your fitness success, OP!

[TurtleDove]

There'd be no reason to send this to someone who is skinny and always has been. 

I completely disagree.  I would imagine people who are viewed as "skinny" are exactly the type of people Jim and his ilk are told to market to! These are people who are interested in fitness and likely to put money into it. (Depending on what the products are, of course.) 

[magicdomino]

There'd be no reason to send this to someone who is skinny and always has been. 

I completely disagree.  I would imagine people who are viewed as "skinny" are exactly the type of people Jim and his ilk are told to market to! These are people who are interested in fitness and likely to put money into it. (Depending on what the products are, of course.)

Exactly.  Plus, the skinny people would get more pressure to join the MLM as salespeople, as they would look like the weight-loss product worked.

[Mikayla]

There'd be no reason to send this to someone who is skinny and always has been. 

I completely disagree.  I would imagine people who are viewed as "skinny" are exactly the type of people Jim and his ilk are told to market to! These are people who are interested in fitness and likely to put money into it. (Depending on what the products are, of course.)

But weeblewobble didn't describe them as fitness products.  She said they were weight loss products.  This isn't the same thing.  And if someone doesn't need to lose weight, or never has, why would they be a target market? 

To me, it's like Jen Hudson and others touting Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers.  They've lost the weight using that product.  It seems nonsensical to assume someone would be happy with the method they used, want to make money/spread the word...and then use someone else's methods to do so. 

[Roe]

Have you seen him face to face since the unfriending?

[Twik]

I wouldn't take being sent info on Latest Sure-Fire Weightloss Method as an indication that someone thought I was fat.

Unfortunately, it is a truism of marketing that nearly every person (at least, female person, and most of the males as well) in the first world believe that things would be better if they lost some weight. Even the ones who appear to be perfectly proportioned will believe this.