Author Topic: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife  (Read 4157 times)

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oceanus

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Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« on: February 13, 2013, 03:21:51 PM »
(Meant to put this in the "Family" section.  Mod, can you move it? Thanks.)


This happened several days ago; I’ve put off posting because I just wanted to ‘wait and see’ if something else happened.  (Maybe I’d get a call, email apology) but nothing has happened.

BACKGROUND: I have a male cousin “J” who is married to “B”. We grew up in the same small town, have drifted apart, but generally speaking have had a decent relationship – even though communication is sporadic. J and I talked several times last summer because there was a death in the family. Since then, I haven’t heard from him. I met his wife B 20 yrs ago when they got married, but we aren’t close either.  I’ve picked up Snowflakey vibes way before I was familiar with the term. She is not exactly Ms. Personality; i.e., the times I’ve been around her she sits, stares at people, and doesn’t say anything unless someone says something to her or asks her something.  Her answers are brief, and I can count on half of one hand the times I’ve seen her smile.  Her husband/my cousin J is the opposite – always “on”, smiling, joking, very witty and personable. (end BG)

WHAT HAPPENED RECENTLY: A couple of months ago my cell phone showed a “missed call” from J’s home number. There was no vm msg, so I just shrugged it off.

But the other night my cell ph rang and the caller ID showed the call was from my cousin J’s home phone #. When I said “hello” cousin’s wife immediately sounded annoyed/angry and said “I’m calling because you’ve called this number several times and hung up, and I want to know why you keep doing that.” I said “Who IS this?” She said “this is the X residence and this is B, J’s wife.” I said “Well, B, this is J’s cousin (my name). I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please calm down. I have not dialed your number since last summer when J and I discussed the death of (relative). I don’t make hang-up calls and no one uses this cell phone except me.” She said “Oh. Well, I wasn’t being accusatory. I was just seeing if there was something I needed to follow up on.”

I asked if her caller ID was indicating recent calls from my number. She said “No, not recent. It’s just that some people call and hang up if they don’t get the person and I was just checking things out.”

I said “Well, it wasn’t me.”  (awkward silence) “Have a nice evening. Goodbye.”

To me, it sounded like she was checking up on him and she had a pre-planned excuse for calling.

I was going to email my cousin J and tell him about his wife’s strange phone call, but my better judgment told me to leave it alone. (I am SO glad I didn’t email my cousin.)  Anyway, as I got back to my dinner I swear I heard music from "The Twilight Zone" playing somewhere.

Also, I recall many years ago when cousin J attended a family gathering and stayed quite awhile . . .laughing, having a good time. Later I heard from another relative that B had been calling trying to get a phone number (where the gathering was held) to check to see if he’d left yet.

Concerning the recent call, I found it odd that once she realized who she was talking to B didn’t say “Oh, (my name) – gosh, I’m sorry. My mistake. Don’t worry about it; how ya doin’? “ OTOH, we don’t have a warm, chatty relationship and she now realizes she messed up.  I doubt that she said anything to J about it, and she’s hoping that I don’t. But I feel she was rude/out of line.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2013, 03:26:31 PM by oceanus »

bopper

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2013, 03:23:34 PM »
Could have been a butt-dial or something.

oceanus

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2013, 03:27:03 PM »
Could have been a butt-dial or something.

???
Not sure what that means.

Twik

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2013, 03:29:40 PM »
Sitting on the phone, and accidentally dialing a number.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

onyonryngs

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2013, 03:33:54 PM »
I would stay out of their family business.  Either she's too paranoid, or she has reason to be checking up on him and as you aren't close with either, I would stay very very far away from any of that.

bloo

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2013, 03:34:37 PM »
Could have been a butt-dial or something.

???
Not sure what that means.

A 'butt-dial' is when your cell phone calls someone from your back-pocket because, presumably, you've bumped up against your posterior enough times to unlock your phone, maybe hit your call log or contact list and then hit 'send'.

So are you thinking your cousin's wife is checking up on him? From the OP it sounds like you got a misdial from his home number but she, bizarrely, accused you of calling their number? That's just weird. She's weird. Sympathies to your cousin for being married to someone weird but I'd keep ignoring it.

oceanus

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2013, 03:36:08 PM »
Well, I checked (even though I knew I had not dialed their number since last summer) and no such call came from my phone.


bansidhe

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2013, 03:39:44 PM »
Perhaps she saw his outgoing call to you and mistook it for an incoming call. It can be tough to tell which is which on my phone.

Either way, she's a paranoid weirdo.
Esan ozenki!

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staceym

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2013, 03:40:28 PM »
Well, I checked (even though I knew I had not dialed their number since last summer) and no such call came from my phone.

I would bet any money there was no "mis dial" - she got a hold of his phone and went through his phone history

I agree - so glad you didn't email or anything - let it go might be the best thing

oceanus

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2013, 03:41:18 PM »
Quote
So are you thinking your cousin's wife is checking up on him?

Yes.  Based on a few things I've heard, and her demeanor, she is suspicious of him.  Could be she has reason to be.

I think she was going thru all the outgoing numbers doing detective work.  Also - this call came to my cell from their land line (I don't have his cell #.)

As far as etiquette, I feel that once she knew who she was talking to, she should have handled it better - even apologized.  But I didn't hold my breath.  Just as well.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2013, 04:01:19 PM by oceanus »

oceanus

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2013, 03:43:03 PM »
Perhaps she saw his outgoing call to you and mistook it for an incoming call. It can be tough to tell which is which on my phone.

Either way, she's a paranoid weirdo.

But his last outgoing call to me was over 8 months ago.

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2013, 03:53:32 PM »
My cellphone gets used so rarely that I have calls that old on my phone.  Could be that he doesn't call out on that phone much or your number is stored.

Twik

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2013, 03:56:20 PM »
Possibly she's not looking at outgoing calls - she's just going through his saved numbers, and calling every one she doesn't recognize.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Moray

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2013, 03:58:16 PM »
I'm confused as to what your question is, and/or what we can help you with.  I mean, it sounds a little awkward, but I'm not sure I understand the need to dissect it. It's possible that she mis-read her call log, that she's randomly calling numbers from his phone, or that she pulled it out of thin air, but in any case, it's between J and B. As long as she doesn't call you again, it's over and done with. ???
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BeagleMommy

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Re: Bizarre (rude) phone call from relative's wife
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2013, 04:01:44 PM »
Regardless of the last time J called your phone, B thinks she needs to check up on him.  She, absolutely, should have apologized after realizing to whom she was speaking.

Glad your better judgement took hold and you didn't tell J about the call.  Something tells me this will not end well.