Spouse Expressions

[mmswm]

Oh, I remembered two more.

First, there's the 7 P's: Proper Prior Planning Prevents P*** Poor Performance

Second: If you're going to be stupid, you'd better be tough.

[JonGirl]

When reading the "readers question" from the daily newspaper, DH actually out loud thanks the person who sent in the question!

As in "thank you (name) of (suburb)". Annoys me every time... 

[Carotte]

I think I'm the one who says it the most, when I'm not agreeing with something said like " blah blah blah tomato" - "you're the tomato". It mostly never makes sense but yesterday we got a nice "blah problem in your head" to which I answered " no you're the problem in my head" which actually kind of make sense sometimes

[RebeccainGA]

My dad was the meme-master in our house - I still occasionally pop out one of them and don't realize it.

DP is AWFUL with names, and since her chemo, occasionally with words. She's also the worst at enunciating things. There are dozens of 'DP-speak' names for things - BelVita cookies are "Bein-ventoos", she pronounces nearby city "Dalonega" as "Dah-log-ne-gah", and let's net even get started on how she pronounces the names of some latin-sounding body parts. LOL She knows that she's doing it right, and can and will do it correctly if someone's listening besides me, but at home, it's "honey, can I have coffee and bienvenetoos??"

[PurpleFrog]

My husband picked up 'isn't it just' from somewhere.
Its sunny today - isn't it just.
The political situation in random country is unsustainable - isnt it just.
The babys created a death ray and has set the house on fire - hasn't he just.

I suggested he find a new phrase or cease to speak.

My standard defence however is the monkeys:

Dh: who moved the dodad?
Me: monkeys.. ....evil ones.....big evil monkeys with sticks. . .big evil poo flinging monkeys with sticks......big evil poo flinging mmonkeys with sticks that are in league with davros.....


I basically keep going untill one of three things happens:

1) dh gets bored and wanders away
2) Dh forgets what the question was
3) Dh's brain melts out of his ears, if anyone asks how that happened it was the monkeys. ..evil monkeys... 

[Mental Magpie]

I think I'm the one who says it the most, when I'm not agreeing with something said like " blah blah blah tomato" - "you're the tomato". It mostly never makes sense but yesterday we got a nice "blah problem in your head" to which I answered " no you're the problem in my head" which actually kind of make sense sometimes

I do that, too, a lot.  It's not always even just me disagreeing with something; I'll say it as an automatic response to anything.

[Gyburc]

DH has a whole fund of these phrases, but then I suppose so do I. 

One of the most long-standing ones is the 'Which' game. It goes like this:

Me: DH, do you want coffee or tea?
DH: Yes.
Me: Which?
DH: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife.

I've mostly got wise to this one over the last 20 years, but sometimes he still gets me. 

[Piratelvr1121]

Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".

It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."    I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...

As for expressions, anytime I ask DH, often without thinking "Do you think it'll work?" he says "It'll take a miracle."  After an eye roll at having walked right into that one, we both say "Bye bye!!!"

[Hollanda]

Oh great. He has a new one. "You reckon?" With an annoying upwards tilt at the end of the sentence...grrrrrrrrr.


Ah I love him really!! 

[Amava]

Oh great. He has a new one. "You reckon?" With an annoying upwards tilt at the end of the sentence...grrrrrrrrr.


Ah I love him really!! 

Haha!! I accidentally introduced my husband to "You don't say??" like in the meme.
And now he uses it! In English! And English isn't even our first language! 

[Gyburc]

Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".

It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."    I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...

Oh, you should have done. (OK, maybe not at a Quiet Day. ) But I would have been so, soooo tempted as well.

[Piratelvr1121]

Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".

It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."    I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...

Oh, you should have done. (OK, maybe not at a Quiet Day. ) But I would have been so, soooo tempted as well.

Next time I have the chance, I will do so.

[JonGirl]

Heeheehee!!

That reminds me, Saturday I attended a Quiet Day retreat at my church and when I got there, someone handed me a packet of name tags, the adhesive ones with "Hello, my name is".
It took great restraint on my part to not write "Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."    I did just put my name but my fingers itched anytime I saw that packet of name tags and the pen sitting within arm's reach...

As for expressions, anytime I ask DH, often without thinking "Do you think it'll work?" he says "It'll take a miracle."  After an eye roll at having walked right into that one, we both say "Bye bye!!!"

I've seen tshirts with that on it...

[Thipu1]

'It is what it is'. All purpose response.

'Mildly interesting'. Said about anything that doesn't completely grab his interest.

'I don't like parsing fish'.  Said any time any type of fish except a filet is on the menu.

[ScubaGirl]

"I'll let you......"  Generally said when he is making dinner and wants to push off something on me.  "I'll let you do the corn", etc.

What makes me irritated is that there is a reason I'm not doing dinner that night and if I had known I was going to be responsible for something I would have done it differently.  What makes me actually mad is that in the way he phrases it, it is like he is doing me a favor.  Grrrrrrr!