Author Topic: Dear Abby dancing etiquette  (Read 5909 times)

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rashea

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Re: Dear Abby dancing etiquette
« Reply #75 on: February 20, 2013, 02:26:49 PM »
Oddly, I can see this coming up if my fiancee had been invited to a wedding without me. I like to dance, and will happily partner people for dances if I am up to it. I wouldn't slow dance in a "wrap your arms around each other" way with anyone other than my SO, but I'd waltz, and fast dance without hesitation.

He doesn't like to dance. To the point that we might have to work around that when we get married. I absolutely would be angry if he were to dance with someone else. It's a case of, if you won't do it with me, I don't find it okay that you would do it with someone else.

And I can imagine a couple who have been together for a year having a quick talk about boundaries before one of them goes to a wedding by themselves. So I can see how this came up.
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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Dear Abby dancing etiquette
« Reply #76 on: February 20, 2013, 04:48:55 PM »
To get back to the letter in Dear Abby, there was something about the LW that I found a little off.  To begin with, her BF hates to dance, so how did this even come up in the conversation?  At the most, I might say, "I know you hate dancing, so what if they expect you to participate in at least one dance?" 

Then, his initial reaction is to accuse her of being too controlling?  If they have a good relationship, where did that come from?  My gut feeling is that she IS too controlling and he is starting to chafe at it.

Then the whole thing about surveying friends and trying to use that to persuade him would drive me up the wall.  A long ago BF of mine would do something similar: all of his friends thought he was right and I was wrong, and I should do things his way.  After a while, my response was, Fine, start dating them.
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