O.K. Audrey, maybe she is not rude, and maybe she does know that I am uncomfortable with the level of influence she has on my daughter. But, I have still invited her, I have been nice, speaking with her, asking about her new job, ect, so maybe she needs to be a bit more respectful to the person who runs the house instead of possibly thinking "this woman doesn't like me, so I am not making any effort what so ever to change her mind about me, instead I am just going to show her that I will do what ever I feel like". That is not working towards a compromise, to which I have done by not telling her she is not welcome to come over or be around my family. And Mikayla, I agree I should have said something right away, but as I was a bit blindsided I wanted to make sure I had the right words. Again, there has been issues, and with advice from some professionals the last few weeks who work with my DD, I am being careful to state my position and give no wiggle room for my rules without making anyone into the bad guy. Fine line to walk. And for all giving my DD all the blame, yes, she is making some unacceptable judgement calls, but the problem I (and some others) are having with this friendship is the friend calling all the shots and my daughter just letting her (yes, we are working on that) but this girl decided she did not want what I offered (ok if you tell me) and has decided to tell her ride not to come until Sunday (which was done before she came to my house) and my daughter is now stuck between her supposed BFF and the rules and plans of the house. I did talk to DD by herself and said that girl is out tonight and there would be no arguing and if she didn't tell her, I would and I am no longer feeling like the hostess with the mostess. This girl is mistaking my kindness and hospitality for a door mat and I will not tolerate it. I think I am just flabbergasted by a child (yeah she's 18 but to me she is still a child) acting so rudely in someones home. I have not always been overly fond of all my daughter's other friends but at least they were good guests and showed the manners they were taught by their parents when they were in my house. And to the posters who seem to think I have hatred coming out of my pores, I have made sure that no one other than my sister and E hellionions know how I feel, including my own DD.
Itend to agree, especially since dd said to OP that she thought it would be OK. It seems very possible that she is giving the friend the go ahead on some or all of this.
she didn't as much give the go ahead as she just did not say ' wait, let's tell my mom" or 'hey remember my mom is making something" when friend told her that she wanted a meal for just the two of them and ordered. My DD will.not.stand.up for herself or for what she knows is right for fear of alienating friend. She just let it happen and hoped for the best.