Okay, I need to come clean about the shirt. It's not green and it doesn't have a kitten on it. I'd post a picture if I had a digital camera but I don't, so, you are going to have to take my word for this.
I didn't want to describe it as it really is because who knows who reads this, but as Hester doesn't even have email and can't navigate a computer if she tried (this woman is a totally awesome nurse and what she doesn't know about science and health isn't worth knowing, but hand her a computer or a cell phone and watch her go crazy)...so I am going to go ahead and describe the REAL shirt.
It's pink. And, surprisingly, it is even big for sixty pounds overweight me. Did I mention it is the color of pepto bismol? The scene on the front is actually attractive: it's a white carousel horse adorned in blue and green jewels (and yes, it is painted in puffy, sparkly paint). There are half a dozen ribbon rosettes, not to mention lots of sparkly gold puffy paint swished around the horse to make a background. There are dots of purple sparkly puff paint as accents and some of them have pretty little jewels set in them.
The sparkly gold bits are lifting away from the material (which is some of the nicest t-shirt material I have ever seen--it's thick and would be actually cozy if it wasn't for all the fol-de-ral on the front. I can see why some folks think it's attractive (When I first had it, I thought so too until we got to that pesky "washing" thing.)
Hester thought it would be good for me to wear when I get the odd story telling job outside of work. Thing is, one of the first rules of story telling is that, while your clothing may be striking, it should not be distracting. This freakin' horse is all but hypnotic.
My Dad suggested I send it to niece since she is horse crazy and loves pink, so I think that is what I will do. She can probably run it into the ground faster than I can cut it up. THEN we will see if it gets back to me.
Hester is famous for her used gift giving and for finding things that COULD be right for someone if they just weren't so....off.
As an example, when I was in college (about a thousand years ago, before I knew Hester) I wrote a storybook for a children's lit class. The story involved a frog. For years after that, my family would always try to find some small frog shaped item for me as a gag. (My parents also always bought me a doll every year until I finally rebelled in my thirties.)
Some years after I met Hester, I told the story of the frog as people were wondering about several frog ornaments in my home. After that...let's just say I have lots of OTHER frog shaped ornaments in my home.
I have stuffed bears wearing Dickens' clothing because Hester knew that I really liked the novel Grat Expectations. And then there is the herbal book, signed by the author....to someone else. That would have been fine with me, I love having old books that were autographed and dedicated to the original person who bought the book. However, Hester whited out the original owner's name and wrote mine in instead.
Her friends love her, she had a heart the size of Texas and the kindness of ten good samaratins, but, oh, how we wish her family had been able to break her of the shopping at thrift stores habit...she is about one more box away from being a hoarder and some of this gift giving is her trying to clean her home out.
Another funny story (since this is turning into true confessions) is that my favorite Harry Potter character is Hermione. Armed with this knowledge, both Hester and another friend bought me the same statuette of Hermione one Christmas. I gave one away and kept one and both of them think it's the one they gave me....
Thanks for your advice and the other funny stories....maybe we should have a white elephants' thread for other tales.....
