General Etiquette > Techno-quette

How announcements of "big news" on facebook can happen

(1/3) > >>

Deetee:
I know several people have posted about how they find out about big news on facebook to do with family members and it bothers them. I decided I would share my story from the other end.

My husband applied for a promotion at his job. For what it's worth, I won't hide the type of job as I often find that makes things a bit confusing. This was an application for tenure at his university. Essentially, after working for 5 years you apply and if it is granted you have a job for life, if it is denied, you pack your bags and leave.

So getting tenure is a big, big deal, but my husband has done well and it was expected that he would succeed. The whole process actually takes a long time. So timelime (approximate as I have forgotten all the details)

September-submit application, application forwarded to external examiners
October-external examiner's reports come in with reccomendations
November-department committee reviews and submits to Chair of department
November-Chair submits reccomendation to faculty
December-Faculty commitee reviews and submits reccomendation to Dean
January-Dean reviews and submits reccomendation to Senate
Febuary-Senate reviews and submits reccomendation to President
Febuary-President approves and the appointment is set
July-Official promotion.

Anyhow, there are a lot of stages, but once the department approval is in, there is a 90% chance at least of it making through the rest of the processes. So basically, we have known that he was going to get this (barring diasaster) for months. The more approvals, the less chance something odd would happen to stop it.

Yesterday, he got the email from the president with approval. It was a complete non-event to him. He thought it was email about another project, read it and ignored it to get back to work on important things. He came home and didn't even mention it until my parents asked in passing and then he said "Oh yeah, I got the final approval today".

So anyhow, I asked later if I could post it on facebook (he isn't on facebook, but we share a lot of friends who would like to know) and he frowned and re-read the email to make sure that this was the final FINAL final approval and then asked me to post it.

So I posted and lots of people said congrats and all was good, but then today I got calls from both his parents who (though they didn't say so) were a little upset and wanted to congratulate him in person on his BIG news.

It wasn't till they called that I realised that this was Big News! It had dribbled on for so long that while it was nice to get the official stamp, it wasn't really news anymore to us.











Roe:
I can see how his parents might've been a bit hurt not to hear about it personally.  I hope your DH called them to share his news in a more appropriate way. 

JenJay:
Congrats to your husband!!

Deetee:

--- Quote from: Roe on February 16, 2013, 07:19:54 PM ---I can see how his parents might've been a bit hurt not to hear about it personally.  I hope your DH called them to share his news in a more appropriate way.

--- End quote ---

Nope, he hasn't. I have actually spoken to his mom twice today and his dad once. He really doesn't see it as a big deal (as I told both his parents to help them understand that he wasn't specifically not calling them, he just didn't see that it was something worth calling about. Like I said, he didn't tell ME and he didn't even really read the email when he got it).

Now, I think he should call them because it is clear it is a big deal to them, but I can only tell an adult so many times...

...OK I just called him at work. I am going to pick him up and he will call his parents when he gets home.

sparksals:

--- Quote from: Deetee on February 16, 2013, 08:10:03 PM ---
--- Quote from: Roe on February 16, 2013, 07:19:54 PM ---I can see how his parents might've been a bit hurt not to hear about it personally.  I hope your DH called them to share his news in a more appropriate way.

--- End quote ---

Nope, he hasn't. I have actually spoken to his mom twice today and his dad once. He really doesn't see it as a big deal (as I told both his parents to help them understand that he wasn't specifically not calling them, he just didn't see that it was something worth calling about. Like I said, he didn't tell ME and he didn't even really read the email when he got it).

Now, I think he should call them because it is clear it is a big deal to them, but I can only tell an adult so many times...

...OK I just called him at work. I am going to pick him up and he will call his parents when he gets home.

--- End quote ---

I completely disagree with Roe.  This has been going on for a long time.  I assume his parents knew he was in the running and it was a long process. 

If it is not considered important news to him, then his parents have no right to be upset.  It sounds very self absorbed they are upset when it is just not a big deal to him.  How is he to know what is important to divulge to them?

FB is an outlet that most people use.  It is common to share such info on this medium.  If they wanted to know privately, they should have communicated to him.

They key is, it is not a big deal to him.  This is not announcing a pending birth or death. It is a job promotion.  His parents don't have carte blanche on all happy news.   

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version