The transition to high school.

[MOM21SON]

Like every other parent, I want the best education for my child.

My DS is in 8th grade and attends a middle school which gets him into the same high school that shares the campus.

He was accepted into a very high academic school for high school.  His current school is a academic school, as in the focus is academics.  So he is used to hard work and no freedom.  His current school has every waking second focused on study study study. 

He wants to attend the new school, but keeps "what iffing".  I know that is normal.
 
I KNOW he will thrive in this new school.  It is much smaller and way more technical.  It is very academically challenged but also has lots of social activities where his current school lacks that.

Am I wrong in making the final decision?

[Kaora]

I think you're just fine.  Unless the what ifs are some serious concerns (i.e. he is deeply unnerved by the way things are structured there), he'll be great.

[MOM21SON]

I think you're just fine.  Unless the what ifs are some serious concerns (i.e. he is deeply unnerved by the way things are structured there), he'll be great.

His concerns are leaving his friends.  I understand that is valid to him.  But honestly, they only socialize in school at lunch.

And, the new school does not offer engineering.  BUT, when he can do dual enrollment, he can start on that path if he chooses.

I just think he is getting "lost" in the shuffle at current school and it will only get worse.

[Carotte]

Could you arrange with otherHS to have him tour it, maybe meet a few teachers or students if there's a student committee?group?bureau? (foreigner here - I have absolutely no idea what is the right term here or if you even have this sort of thing, basically a group of students in charge of social events and stuff), that way he could ask questions and be reassured.

[MOM21SON]

Could you arrange with otherHS to have him tour it, maybe meet a few teachers or students if there's a student committee?group?bureau? (foreigner here - I have absolutely no idea what is the right term here or if you even have this sort of thing, basically a group of students in charge of social events and stuff), that way he could ask questions and be reassured.

He did and was hoping that he got in. Now that he got in, he is wavering.  He was on a waiting list for his current school since he was 8 days old.  This school, he was choosen for the most part.  There is no going back to the old school.  He will lose his spot.

[jpcher]

What are his alternatives? Does the other school (where his friends will be going) have high "state-wide-grades" for High Schools? Do they have a strong lean towards engineering (robotics team?)

Is your son interested in engineering, or is that your dream for him?

It is much smaller and way more technical.  It is very academically challenged but also has lots of social activities where his current school lacks that.

Am I wrong in making the final decision?

Are you wrong in making the final decision? For an 8th grader transitioning into HS? No. you are not wrong. If it was HS going into college? I'd let my child have a whole lot more say in the matter.

The social activities (I'm guessing academic clubs, etc.) are important. He'll find out that learning can be fun, with his peers, outside of a classroom environment.

I like Carotte's thought of touring the new school.

[MOM21SON]

What are his alternatives? Does the other school (where his friends will be going) have high "state-wide-grades" for High Schools? Do they have a strong lean towards engineering (robotics team?)

The school that his friends are going to is known in this area for football.  Many have never played a backyard game in their lives.  I have spoken to a few parents and they want their kids to play and have that high school experience.
Is your son interested in engineering, or is that your dream for him?

He interested it what people tell at his current school tell him to do.

It is much smaller and way more technical.  It is very academically challenged but also has lots of social activities where his current school lacks that.

Am I wrong in making the final decision?

Are you wrong in making the final decision? For an 8th grader transitioning into HS? No. you are not wrong. If it was HS going into college? I'd let my child have a whole lot more say in the matter.

The social activities (I'm guessing academic clubs, etc.) are important. He'll find out that learning can be fun, with his peers, outside of a classroom environment.

I like Carotte's thought of touring the new school.

[DistantStar]

If you honestly think his academic and social interests will be better served in the new school, I think this is a very good time to make the change.  It's a natural point for that to happen as he's moving on to high school either way.  It's not like he's leaving town, so any friendships from his previous school can be maintained, especially with cell phones and Facebook and all that, with weekend get-togethers and the like.

I don't think you're wrong in making the final decision, given his age.  Changing schools is a big thing, yes, but if this new one is that hard to get into and he worked for that, I think he should go.

[bonyk]

I think you're doing the right thing, but something that might help DS is exploring some of those 'what-ifs' with him.  What will happen if the work is too hard, he has no friends, etc.