Locker Room Confrontation

[TurtleDove]

At my gym, there is no rule about girls being in the women's locker room.  There is a rule about opposite gender children, but since I don't have a boy I am not really certain what it is.  Anyway, today my 4 year old DD came with me into the women's locker room to put my purse in a locker before I took her to the KidZone and did my workout.  I was holding her and she didn't say anything while this happened - it took maybe two minutes - we didn't have to change. As we were walking out a very angry and very naked older woman grabbed my arm and angrily yelled that she was going to report me for having my child in the locker room. She came from a different locker bay. I simply continued walking out and could tell everyone else was just shocked at this woman.  I have no idea what she was trying to accomplish and no idea what she would report me for. My question is whether I should report her?  She scared me and frankly, I don't like being angrily grabbed by naked strangers. My gut is to let it go, but a day has passed and I'm still a bit miffed about it.

[LeveeWoman]

At my gym, there is no rule about girls being in the women's locker room.  There is a rule about opposite gender children, but since I don't have a boy I am not really certain what it is.  Anyway, today my 4 year old DD came with me into the women's locker room to put my purse in a locker before I took her to the KidZone and did my workout.  I was holding her and she didn't say anything while this happened - it took maybe two minutes - we didn't have to change. As we were walking out a very angry and very naked older woman grabbed my arm and angrily yelled that she was going to report me for having my child in the locker room. She came from a different locker bay. I simply continued walking out and could tell everyone else was just shocked at this woman.  I have no idea what she was trying to accomplish and no idea what she would report me for. My question is whether I should report her?  She scared me and frankly, I don't like being angrily grabbed by naked strangers. My gut is to let it go, but a day has passed and I'm still a bit miffed about it.

Yes, I'd report her. Grabbing someone, whether you're clothed or not, is wrong. Being unclothed makes it worse if she was protesting that a child shouldn't be around unclothed adults because it called attention to her naked self.

[oceanus]

  What? 

Of course you should report her!  When you do, be prepared to answer why you didn't report her immediately.  You say you were scared - who wouldn't be?

I'm not understanding why you walked away and let it go. Miffed?  Her actions border on assault, for goodness sakes.

[MorgnsGrl]

Definitely report her!! Someone who works at the gym needs to have a serious talk with her about the fact that same-gender children ARE allowed in the locker room, and that grabbing anyone is NOT OKAY and won't be tolerated.

[TurtleDove]

Yeah, I probably should have reported it right away.  I walked away because it just seemed so unreal.  A woman who was walking out with me said, "Did that really just happen?"  It happened fast and I just wanted to get to my workout.  Also, much like witness reports of "what did the gunman look like/I have no idea I was looking at the gun" my description of this woman would be "she was naked and angry."   

Thankfully, my DD didn't say much about it, which is another reason I walked away (to avoid an even bigger situation).

[sparksals]

I assume you are talking about Lifetime. I go to Lakeville.  The rule is no opposite gender children.  You and your DD broke no rule.  She probably thought all people with kids have to use the Family locker room, but not the case. Only if you have opposite gender children.

I suggest next time you see her, point her out to the attendant.  Hard to report someone when you don't know who they are to report.   

[Shoo]

There are some people in this world for which the mere presence of children makes them lose their minds.  I'm afraid you encountered one of them.  You did absolutely nothing wrong, but that lady?  Rude to the max. If you see her again, I think you should tell someone at the front desk, so they can "clarify" the policy for her.

[snowdragon]

She was wrong to touch you and to yell at you, it does not even come under rude, touching you is wrong, even if she is confused about the rules. I do have to wonder where she got the idea that kids were not allowed in the changeroom. I had I witnessed this I would not only be reporting the woman, but questioning how she got that idea.
  It needs to be fixed - yesterday.

[sparksals]

Confusion doesn't excuse her behaviour in the slightest.  I am pretty sure everyone is told the rules of the locker room when getting the tour.  I was shown the ladies plus the family locker room.  They make it very clear when joining. 

I may be wrong, but I THINK there are signs at each entry about no opposite gender children.  There is definitely a sign that cell phones cameras are not to be used in the locker room.  In fact, my internet is disabled in the locker room area. 

The woman was horribly wrong to accost the OP like that.  There is NO excuse to grab someone. 

[NyaChan]

You don't lay hands on others.  Period.  You were doing nothing wrong and that woman had a very over the top reaction.  I would report if for no other reason than to have the staff aware that there was an issue just in case you run into her again.

[Amanita]

That lady was way the E-Hell out of line! Grabbing you was completely uncalled for, she should have been reported that very minute!

[TootsNYC]

What's funny is that the reason for the opposite-gender children rule is so that you don't have to worry about whether you're being seen by the child while you're undressing. It's to protect your privacy.

By creating/pursuing a confrontation with you, she GUARANTEED that she would be seen naked by your kid.

[sparksals]

Yes, she certainly drew a lot of attention to herself!

[sweetonsno]

Don't carry it around with you, but don't let it go without reporting it, either. Since you aren't confident that you could identify her, your goal isn't to get someone kicked out of the gym or warned, but to have the rule clarified. Maybe the gym could put up a sign that says "same-sex children are okay in locker rooms so long as they are under their parent's direct supervision at all times" or something.

[sparksals]

Don't carry it around with you, but don't let it go without reporting it, either. Since you aren't confident that you could identify her, your goal isn't to get someone kicked out of the gym or warned, but to have the rule clarified. Maybe the gym could put up a sign that says "same-sex children are okay in locker rooms so long as they are under their parent's direct supervision at all times" or something.

This is a very large semi national gym chain.  Since TD and I live in the same metro area, I am assuming it is Lifetime Fitness which is very clear about the rules when people join.  They shouldn't have to do that when it is only a person here and there who seems to have a problem with it.