General Etiquette > Family and Children

Should I say something?

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You should certainly bring up this situation with the girl's mother.  You're in a good position to do so since your own child had speech problems and you know good resources.  You can not only point out a possible problem but offer constructive ways of solving it.

Wouldn't this be something her teacher at school would mention to her mom?  It sounds like you're in an informal child care situation, but as her mom's friend, I think you have the perfect opportunity to approach it with care as your own daughter went through speech therapy.  I would bring up how much it has helped your daughter and how you think that it might be a great option for her too.

The mom is a really sweet girl, but her and her husband are, for lack of a better description, laid back parents.  They just kinda float through and are not real proactive with things, so for them, her speech is probably just not an issue.  I have tried to bring up some daycare programs and summer programs for their son, who is reallyreally smart but is bored just being with either me or grandma when school is not in,  but they just 'uh huh' and go on.  They love these kids and are good to them, just not really looking at what can benefit them  Plus, they both work and don't seem to be able to juggle kids activities with their work.  I was the one who brought up my DD's speech issues at her daycare, they observed more closely, and helped me get the resources.  I just hope they will accept it.  LadyL, I think I will use your suggested way to bring it up, more putting it on me and see what they say.  And Knitterly, yes, I use the tools I have been taught by my daughter's therapist on her ( I almost believe she has the same condition my DD has, just undiagnosed, due to her eating issues too) but I only have her a few hours a week now. 

I think you should say something. A friend was "tongue-tied" when she was a kid - the frenulum under her tongue was too short so she couldn't form the words. Her parents had honestly not noticed until someone told them she was hard to understand. They could understand her and just figured that was her way of speaking. A surgery and much speech therapy later is all good.

Sheila Take a Bow:
I really think it's overstepping a boundary to use therapy tools on someone else's child.

Do you know for certain that the parents haven't been discussing their child's speech with their doctor?  Do you know for certain that the child has the same condition as your daughter?  Are you qualified as a speech therapist?

If not, I would be very angry to discover that you are, essentially, choosing to diagnose and treat my child.  It's overstepping.

It's not your child, it's not up to you to make therapeutic decions, even if you're trying to help.

You can talk to the parents, but if they resist or are not interested, it's not your place to fix the child's speech.  A 4-year-old will be in school soon enough, and the teachers and staff at the school will be better equipped to deal with the child's condition (if there is one) than you are.


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