Author Topic: Family Photo...Help!  (Read 8333 times)

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laceandbits

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #30 on: February 20, 2013, 10:01:12 AM »
One of my daughters is like this (now in her 40s) and a few years ago my sister suggested to her that she allowed us to take photos on condition that she had the right to delete them from the camera if she wanted to.  Three cheers for digital cameras.

This has helped a lot as now the photos we do take are no longer smudges and smears as she turns or ducks out of sight, and she no longer pulls faces at the camera or puts her hand in front of her face.  It also means that we can now take lots of photos of her at family events because she's no longer hiding in the loo or kitchen when the cameras are out, and there is nearly always one or two that she lets us keep.  After all, this is what professional photographers do; they takes hundreds to get the one or two that are right.

For your particular situation, if it's the whole of you that you don't like being photographed, then make sure you stand in a middle or back row.  Wear a large hat to conceal some of your face or at least put it in shadow?  In this sort of group photo each person's face is usually pretty tiny anyway. Don't look directly at the camera, try a half way between full face and profile, then you can pretend it's not there.  And don't get a copy of the photo if you are convinced that you being in it has spoilt it.

Finally, don't expect a photo to look like you!  We only see our own face in mirrors and faces are not symmetrical.  You can prove this by putting a mirror down the middle of any photograph so you see one half reflected as a mirror image.  The two halves reflected give two completely different faces.  If you rarely have a photo taken of yourself, then you are not used to seeing yourself as others (and the camera) see you which is why you think you don't look right.

YummyMummy66

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #31 on: February 20, 2013, 10:04:39 AM »
As someone who scrapbooks. please suck it up and be in the picture.

I noticed myself, that although I take pictures, I was rarely in them.  I don't like my picture taken either, but I now make sure that I am in some photos.  On Mother's day, I love to have my pic taken every year with my kiddos.  Do I always look the greatest?  No.  But, I treasure those photos and I am hoping that someday in the future, they will also treasure those photos when I am gone. 

I wish we would have gotten a family photo taken before my father passed away.  It was sudden, so could not foresee the future, but I would have loved a family photo with dad in it. 




Cami

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #32 on: February 20, 2013, 11:39:37 AM »
I hate having my photo taken too and avoided it for many years. I've recently decided to get over myself and allow it to happen. I make myself happier by standing in the back, etc.

I made that decision in going through the family photos and finding almost none of my mother or grandmother -- both of whom hated having their photos taken. I really wish I had even ten of them. So I decided I wouldn't do that to my dd and I now get into photos.

onyonryngs

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #33 on: February 20, 2013, 12:05:38 PM »
This just smells to me of being an unwelcome set up for a lot of people, you go expecting to be a wedding guest but SURPRISE we're going to take a group photo now (insert cheesy smile).  I would feel ambushed and I know a lot of people hate that sort of thing.

Don't most people expect to get their photo taken at a family wedding?  And they're not surprising the OP with this, they're letting her know quite a bit ahead of time.  I wouldn't say that it's bullying or an ambush to ask family members to pose at a wedding.

Venus193

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #34 on: February 20, 2013, 12:08:00 PM »
It's bullying if you don't like being photographed.  The reason you don't like it doesn't matter.

onyonryngs

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #35 on: February 20, 2013, 12:13:26 PM »
It's bullying if you don't like being photographed.  The reason you don't like it doesn't matter.

Is merely asking to be in a group photo bullying though?  I wouldn't think it was.

Lynn2000

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #36 on: February 20, 2013, 12:14:42 PM »
I'm glad the OP has made her decision--I think the most important thing is to feel like you have options, and you're making your own choice about whether to be in the photo or not, rather than feeling like it's a horrible inevitability. There are lots of good reasons to be in family photos, but ultimately I don't think it's an absolute must, and there are polite ways to refuse if that's someone's choice.
~Lynn2000

CrochetFanatic

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #37 on: February 20, 2013, 12:16:51 PM »
Well, to be honest, this is only the third family wedding I've been to.  The first didn't have it.  The second one did.  It hadn't really occurred to me, then when I found out I thought, "Well, of course.  Why wouldn't I expect that?"

zoidberg

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #38 on: February 20, 2013, 12:17:54 PM »
It's bullying if you don't like being photographed.  The reason you don't like it doesn't matter.

This is really over the top. People will want to take photos at their wedding. That is not bullying, it's a completely normal wish. If the happy couple proceeds to call out and cajole people who want to opt out, then yes, that could be seen as bullying, but all things considered, I do think it's okay to expect people to suck it up for one group photo.

Moray

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #39 on: February 20, 2013, 12:18:53 PM »
It's bullying if you don't like being photographed.  The reason you don't like it doesn't matter.

Is merely asking to be in a group photo bullying though?  I wouldn't think it was.

I wouldn't think so either. I think applying the term to someone asking their loved ones (well in advance) to join in a group photograph on such a special day is not only about as far from bullying as you can get, but it really cheapens the meaning of the word.

People can make requests. You can decline or not. The simple act of asking, politely and respectfully, isn't bullying behavior in the slightest.
Utah

Judah

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #40 on: February 20, 2013, 12:21:24 PM »
It's bullying if you don't like being photographed.  The reason you don't like it doesn't matter.

Is merely asking to be in a group photo bullying though?  I wouldn't think it was.

I wouldn't think so either. I think applying the term to someone asking their loved ones (well in advance) to join in a group photograph on such a special day is not only about as far from bullying as you can get, but it really cheapens the meaning of the word.

People can make requests. You can decline or not. The simple act of asking, politely and respectfully, isn't bullying behavior in the slightest.

I agree. And even if the request hadn't been made in advance, having photos taken  is a totally normal and expected part of a wedding.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

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Venus193

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #41 on: February 20, 2013, 12:23:11 PM »
Declining to be photographed is not bullying; insisting on your being in it after you declined is.

Sharnita

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #42 on: February 20, 2013, 12:25:36 PM »
It's bullying if you don't like being photographed.  The reason you don't like it doesn't matter.

Completely false. You might not like religious practice or red meat but it isn't bullying to plan a mass or serve filet.

Giggity

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #43 on: February 20, 2013, 12:27:11 PM »
I don't think bullying has anything at all to do with this situation.
Words mean things.

Moray

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Re: Family Photo...Help!
« Reply #44 on: February 20, 2013, 12:27:26 PM »
Declining to be photographed is not bullying; insisting on your being in it after you declined is.

1) No one ever stated or implied that declining to be photographed was bullying behavior. Multiple posters took exception to your assertion that asking someone to be photographed, especially at an important family event, was bullying.

2) Who insisted? Stop catastrophizing. It really isn't helpful, especially after the OP has indicated she's feeling pretty decent about the whole thing now.
Utah