I like to go to the Y every day, to this end I have a master key membership ( so I can go to any Y in the district) and my bag packed and kept in the car with a swim suit and clean clothes at all times. ( the clean clothes are due to a medical condition that sometimes means I need to change ASAP)
One of the people I go out with on the weekends wants to go to the Y, too, but usually "forgets" her stuff, so I have started carrying an extra swimsuit in the car for anyone who needs to borrow it. I have no problem taking the suit home after use and washing it for next time. She has several times tried to take the suit home with her, but if she does I will never see it again. ( This has happened before with things I've borrowed her.)
I have told her that if she does not want to come to the Y to tell me when we are making plans and I will go alone and we'll just start our outings later, as the class time is set. But she insists that she's just forgetful.
She is put out that I will not just give her the suit to keep, and that if I let her wear it, it belongs to her. She has come right out and said that I am "rude to take it back after giving it to her". When I let her use it I made sure to tell her that the suit was mine, but I would let her use it for the class and then I wanted it back. I even told her in so many words that I wold take care of laundering it after she used it. She still insists that my letting her use it and expecting it to be returned is "rude".
For my part I am simply going to start making plans after the class with her to avoid the conflict, but I thought the idea of "you let me use it - it now belongs to me" would be an interesting conversation here. So what say you, am I rude, is she or is this just a case of differing belief systems and neither is rude?