Unfriending someone on social media

[joraemi]

So - I've had a rather unpleasant experience on social media that has led me to the decision of removing everyone from my friends list that I do not know in real time.

 My question is, some of them I'd like to say "Hey - it isn't you, I had a bad experience that led to this decision" - as it isn't that they aren't nice people, etc, but I'm just done.  kwim?

Do people get some sort of notice when you defriend them?  Is it OK to send messages to those that I don't want to completely cut ties with?  (i.e. we may see each other at events held by our social group, etc)

Thanks.

[Tea Drinker]

You know your circles better than I do: there are places where I would post "I've decided to use $site a bit differently, and will be limiting my friends list to people I know offline" if I so decided. I might or might not give a reason, depending on what it was and who the people were.

[siamesecat2965]

And no, there is no notification of a de-friending. I've been defriended, and have run into those who defriended me, but I've never felt the need to say anything. People use social media in different ways, so I'd just defriend, and only explain if THEY bring it up.

You don't have any obligation to explain your actions to anyone, and my theory is, the less said, the better.

[joraemi]

OK. Thx for the advice. I may go the route of just not saying anything. I'm thinking they may have such expansive friends lists they may not even notice I'm gone. 

Thanks again. 

[Allyson]

Lots of people probably won't even notice, especially if you don't often interact with them on social media. I would say that if there is anyone there you interact with quite a lot, and want to maintain a friendship, sending a note would be nice. Most of my defriendings on either side are 'well, we're not that close'and I'm not bothered. But if someone I felt closer to suddenly did it, I would likely wonder if I'd done something wrong, and if they wanted to still be friends or not. But it's totally your call.

[NotTheNarcissist]

There are quite a bit of posts / questions on ehell in the Technoquette forum about unfriending. I have unfriended about 80 people over the years and have been unfriended a few times. IME generally speaking most people don't say anything when they unfriend. It's a quiet thing. For me personally I just had a difficult time keeping up with the newsfeed. I had added & been added by people I barely knew from high school. I shouldn't have accepted their invites & I shouldn't have friended them. Years went by on FB, no communication between us. In an effort to simplify things I culled through my list & began to unfriend. You might have an excuse ready in the event anyone sends you a private message asking what happened, but most people don't ask, IME.

[Deetee]

I think the reasons for unfriending are so varied and personal that the recipient shouldn't take them personally. And I also feel that if you aren't close enough to say "Hey! did you unfriend me? in some media other than facebook, you aren't close enough to care.

I've been unfriended by some people and unfriended others and have never had a spot of drama over it. The only one I kinda cared about was a spouse who defriended his wife's friends after they divorced. I understood why he did that so I didn't take it personally.

[bopper]

I would unfriend them and I think 99% won't even notice.
If they do, then just say "My friend list was getting too big and I needed to trim it down."