Author Topic: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"  (Read 3032 times)

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CrochetFanatic

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #15 on: February 20, 2013, 06:13:41 PM »
#15 made me chuckle.  I'm still looking for work, and until I've found it I won't be going out much.  I can't seem to get some family members to understand (not the ones I live with, mind you) that there aren't any places within walking distance, and driving uses gas for which I can't reimburse my brother.  Anxiety or not, when I find a job (most of that is done online now, and I think it sucks) I'll go out and do it.  But even then, crocheting at home is what makes me happy.  Some people just can't wrap their heads around that.

bansidhe

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #16 on: February 21, 2013, 12:40:26 AM »
It seemed obvious to me that "if it doesn't directly affect you" was an implied caveat throughout. He set it up in the introduction as "when it has nothing to do with you." This line seems to sum it up: "If itís not directly affecting you, your life, or your happiness, itís none of your business." If something is directly affecting you, it is your business.

In general that's a good rule and I agree with most of what he said. However, sometimes people do things and make choices that may not affect a given person directly, but do have an effect on a community, the environment, or some other larger group or entity. That's when you start getting into a gray area. I've seen a number of huge fights when Person A objects to something Person B is doing because it has a negative effect on a larger group, while Person B insists it doesn't matter because it doesn't affect Person A directly. I find myself almost always on the side of Person A in those situations.
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Slartibartfast

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #17 on: February 21, 2013, 01:15:21 AM »
It seemed obvious to me that "if it doesn't directly affect you" was an implied caveat throughout. He set it up in the introduction as "when it has nothing to do with you." This line seems to sum it up: "If itís not directly affecting you, your life, or your happiness, itís none of your business." If something is directly affecting you, it is your business.

In general that's a good rule and I agree with most of what he said. However, sometimes people do things and make choices that may not affect a given person directly, but do have an effect on a community, the environment, or some other larger group or entity. That's when you start getting into a gray area. I've seen a number of huge fights when Person A objects to something Person B is doing because it has a negative effect on a larger group, while Person B insists it doesn't matter because it doesn't affect Person A directly. I find myself almost always on the side of Person A in those situations.

I agree with you in a larger sense, but I really didn't see much on that list that would potentially cause harm to a larger community.   Eating/exercising choices, clothing choices, and tattoos clearly should be individual choices and therefore respected (or at least silently tolerated).  More come down to gossip: medical information, successes and failures, and habits are all things we should avoid gossiping about when we know the person involved would object to the gossip.  Looked at a different way I suppose there can be an argument that the behaviors themselves can be detrimental to a community (a serial moocher, for example) but I think it's still valid to say that approaching the individual in question - once - is better than gossiping about him/her to other people.

A bunch dealt with relationships, sex, romance, and marriage - again, the actual decisions involved can be harmful (marrying an abusive person, for example) but that still doesn't give anyone else the right to usurp the personal decision to get involved in a relationship - and to have the freedom to define what they want that relationship to be.  Three more boiled down to "don't stick your nose in other people's finances," which I absolutely agree with - if those finances don't directly involve you, you have no right to naysay financial decisions.

That just leaves religion, friends, and parenting - three things the world will never agree on.  There will always be people who take "safety trumps etiquette" to extremes based on unreasonable interpretations of "unsafe."  If you (generic you) have no concrete reason for why an individual should choose your interpretation of what's safe over their own, I don't really blame that individual for wanting to avoid the topic.

All in all, I do agree that you can interpret the list in a way that allows some exceptions ("What if she lets her son drink bleach?"), but if you look at it as a list of "Please don't gossip about me doing X" I think it's a pretty good list.

Softly Spoken

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #18 on: February 21, 2013, 02:55:22 AM »
Really? :-\

You think I really needed another fantastically distracting time suck besides this forum?  ::) >:D
Oh great, and now I get to go through all the archived awesomeness that I've been tragically missing because no one told me about SDL until today?? :P

I don't know whether to laugh or cry... :'( ;D

Seriously though thanks OP, this guy is amazing...
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Ereine

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #19 on: February 21, 2013, 03:08:13 AM »
I have issue with some of them.

 It is certainly someone's business if someone makes a play for their wife/husband.  and parents don't parent in a vacuum: so if your parenting choice means your  (general you) kid is harming me, my family, my animals or my stuff... I get to say something. If your kids is preventing me from seeing/doing/enjoying stuff because "adults need to stand back and let kids do XYZ and you can't because you're too old" - sorry, I am saying something...ect.   But as long as your kid is being age appropriately reasonably behaved  - yup your choices should not be questioned.

  Yup until you keep ponies in your house, I think the authorities might take issue with that.  ( Can they be potty trained??? Ewww.)

I think the issue here is not the "parenting decision" but the fact that the child is harming you, your family, etc.

I think an exception to all 20 items on that list (i.e. when they become my business) is when the person's [insert topic here] affects me.

But he's not willing to give that exception from what he says - it' just shut up about it, it's my decision.  There are several things in this list that I agree with but
the two I mentioned *really* bug me because it's slanted so much in the favor of the person making the choice.  Like the relationships ones - as I said do what you want, but if your choices interfere with other folks relationships, you don't get to say "It's not your business".  It seems to me that he wants a lot of latitude  in what he feels is no one else's business but does not acknowledge that sometimes it is other folks business.

I think that the fact that he gives exceptions to every example (even if they're humorous) kind of implies that he's open to exceptions.

BB-VA

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #20 on: February 21, 2013, 07:16:23 AM »
I have issue with some of them.

 It is certainly someone's business if someone makes a play for their wife/husband.  and parents don't parent in a vacuum: so if your parenting choice means your  (general you) kid is harming me, my family, my animals or my stuff... I get to say something. If your kids is preventing me from seeing/doing/enjoying stuff because "adults need to stand back and let kids do XYZ and you can't because you're too old" - sorry, I am saying something...ect.   But as long as your kid is being age appropriately reasonably behaved  - yup your choices should not be questioned.

  Yup until you keep ponies in your house, I think the authorities might take issue with that.  ( Can they be potty trained??? Ewww.)

Um....well, sort of.  Guide horses are.

http://www.guidehorse.org/
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scotcat60

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #21 on: February 21, 2013, 07:53:44 AM »
I'd love to send this list to my aunt who swears that my crush on Adam Levine is the equivalent of cheating on my husband.

Unless I show up at Adam Levine's house with a suitcase full of lingerie, whipped cream and a crow bar it's unlikely that anything will result of my crush.

A crow bar? I daren't ask why....

Is your Aunt a religious person?  There is a Biblical text that says that any man who looks upon a woman with Lust has commiteed adultery with them in their heart. My A level Religious Knowledge teacher said that worked the other way round. In which case, boy am I in trouble.

As for the bloggers remark to interfere if he gets a crush on his first cousin , my grandparents were first cousins and nine out of their twelve children grew to adulthood as normal healthy folk. But if there was too much intermarriage, I might say something, but only if asked my opinion.

And some people consider pickled pigs feet a delicacy. And I like mushrooms. I'd only interfere if the mushroom turned out to be a deadly toadstool. otheriwse I agree with number one.

MissRose

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #22 on: February 21, 2013, 09:29:50 AM »
I like the list.

My mother needs to keep in mind a great many items on the list for sure when it comes to me and my sister!

CakeBeret

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #23 on: February 21, 2013, 09:37:42 AM »
I wholeheartedly loved it.

I agree with Bexx about the implied caveats. I take the "it's none of my business" stance on so many issues (especially when faced with gossip), and it's lovely to see this article reiterating that it's really not any of my, or your, or anyone else's business.
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joraemi

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #24 on: February 21, 2013, 10:04:31 AM »
Wicked good list!




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BeagleMommy

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #25 on: February 21, 2013, 11:57:10 AM »
I'd love to send this list to my aunt who swears that my crush on Adam Levine is the equivalent of cheating on my husband.

Unless I show up at Adam Levine's house with a suitcase full of lingerie, whipped cream and a crow bar it's unlikely that anything will result of my crush.

A crow bar? I daren't ask why....

Is your Aunt a religious person?  There is a Biblical text that says that any man who looks upon a woman with Lust has commiteed adultery with them in their heart. My A level Religious Knowledge teacher said that worked the other way round. In which case, boy am I in trouble.

As for the bloggers remark to interfere if he gets a crush on his first cousin , my grandparents were first cousins and nine out of their twelve children grew to adulthood as normal healthy folk. But if there was too much intermarriage, I might say something, but only if asked my opinion.

And some people consider pickled pigs feet a delicacy. And I like mushrooms. I'd only interfere if the mushroom turned out to be a deadly toadstool. otheriwse I agree with number one.

No, she's not religious.  Just pretentiously pious.  The crow bar would be so I could break into his house, of course.  ;D

Kiara

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #26 on: February 21, 2013, 02:10:03 PM »
I'd love to send this list to my aunt who swears that my crush on Adam Levine is the equivalent of cheating on my husband.

Unless I show up at Adam Levine's house with a suitcase full of lingerie, whipped cream and a crow bar it's unlikely that anything will result of my crush.

A crow bar? I daren't ask why....

Is your Aunt a religious person?  There is a Biblical text that says that any man who looks upon a woman with Lust has commiteed adultery with them in their heart. My A level Religious Knowledge teacher said that worked the other way round. In which case, boy am I in trouble.

As for the bloggers remark to interfere if he gets a crush on his first cousin , my grandparents were first cousins and nine out of their twelve children grew to adulthood as normal healthy folk. But if there was too much intermarriage, I might say something, but only if asked my opinion.

And some people consider pickled pigs feet a delicacy. And I like mushrooms. I'd only interfere if the mushroom turned out to be a deadly toadstool. otheriwse I agree with number one.

No, she's not religious.  Just pretentiously pious.  The crow bar would be so I could break into his house, of course.  ;D

I like the way you think.   ;D

Amava

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #27 on: February 21, 2013, 02:21:15 PM »
I'd love to send this list to my aunt who swears that my crush on Adam Levine is the equivalent of cheating on my husband.

Unless I show up at Adam Levine's house with a suitcase full of lingerie, whipped cream and a crow bar it's unlikely that anything will result of my crush.

A crow bar? I daren't ask why....

Is your Aunt a religious person?  There is a Biblical text that says that any man who looks upon a woman with Lust has commiteed adultery with them in their heart. My A level Religious Knowledge teacher said that worked the other way round. In which case, boy am I in trouble.

As for the bloggers remark to interfere if he gets a crush on his first cousin , my grandparents were first cousins and nine out of their twelve children grew to adulthood as normal healthy folk. But if there was too much intermarriage, I might say something, but only if asked my opinion.

And some people consider pickled pigs feet a delicacy. And I like mushrooms. I'd only interfere if the mushroom turned out to be a deadly toadstool. otheriwse I agree with number one.

No, she's not religious.  Just pretentiously pious.  The crow bar would be so I could break into his house, of course.  ;D

With all respect, but I don't understand why you would share such crushes with such an aunt.  :P

Redneck Gravy

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #28 on: February 21, 2013, 02:27:00 PM »
I'd love to send this list to my aunt who swears that my crush on Adam Levine is the equivalent of cheating on my husband.

Unless I show up at Adam Levine's house with a suitcase full of lingerie, whipped cream and a crow bar it's unlikely that anything will result of my crush.

Got an address?  I will help you at his place if you will help me at my crush's place...

Kiara

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Re: "20 Things That Ain't None of Your Business"
« Reply #29 on: February 21, 2013, 02:41:18 PM »
I'd love to send this list to my aunt who swears that my crush on Adam Levine is the equivalent of cheating on my husband.

Unless I show up at Adam Levine's house with a suitcase full of lingerie, whipped cream and a crow bar it's unlikely that anything will result of my crush.

Got an address?  I will help you at his place if you will help me at my crush's place...

Me three.....all I need is the crowbar.  Left that one out, dangit.