Etiquette School is in session! > "What an interesting assumption."

You're lovely and slim/you need to lose weight!

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Library Dragon:

--- Quote from: Softly Spoken on May 04, 2013, 12:45:14 PM ---Just wanted to rant a little and since this thread is already started I will put it here:

Commenting on anyone's change in size is such a minefield, I really don't understand why people assume it can/should be considered appropriate or even a compliment. People can lose weight due to illness, or gain because they are on medication etc. etc.

Also, muscle weighs more than fat, so "failing" to lose weight when you exercise can just mean you are doing it right! ::)

I am fat and I really really hate that everyone assumes any exercise I do is so I can lose weight. I am not trying to lose weight. I am trying to up my stamina, strength and energy while lowering my depression. I'm never going to do anything just to try and make myself look how other people think I should. Stop assuming that I don't work out, that I can't, or that when I do it's because I'm on a diet/wedding/New Years resolution etc. >:(

/rant

--- End quote ---

This is so true. I have a friend who was trying to loose weight, but wisely became concerned when she began loosing too much too quickly.  It turns out she has a serious medical issue.  If she had just said, "Great!" she wouldn't have caught it so soon.

TurtleDove:
I just wanted to shout out to the weight lifters amongst us - in my world we happily state our weight because it's used in the calculation in scoring if how much we can lift in various Olympic lifts. Body weight factors in for the weight lifted, and strong is the goal. :-)

doodlemor:
Not exactly the same situation, but here is Miss Manners' advice for dealing with nasty weight comments.

http://living.msn.com/life-inspired/miss-manners-advice/handling-disrespectful-comments-about-weight

I do think that you could use the advice / statement at the end of the article on your mother, though.

"I would never harp on your shortcomings."

Shalamar:

--- Quote ---This is so true. I have a friend who was trying to lose weight, but wisely became concerned when she began losing too much too quickly.  It turns out she has a serious medical issue.  If she had just said, "Great!" she wouldn't have caught it so soon.
--- End quote ---

My friend's dad started losing weight too rapidly, and at first he was all "Great!" because he'd always been heavy.   He got concerned when he realized that he was still losing weight even though he was no longer trying to.   He was diagnosed with cancer and, sadly, it was too far-gone to treat much - he was dead within a year.

chicajojobe:

--- Quote from: DottyG on February 20, 2013, 01:36:10 PM ---Agreeing with the others.  You don't have to answer "How much do you weigh?" by anyone.  It's your business alone.  Bean dip that question.

--- End quote ---

If it was anyone else, yeah, but if my parents asking I'd probably answer.

However, I'm not saying everyone should be obligated to. Just that I can understand why the OP didn't bean dip, because I probably wouldn't expect that question to turn into an exchange like that either if it was my mom doing the asking.

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