Etiquette School is in session! > "What an interesting assumption."

You're lovely and slim/you need to lose weight!

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I actually don't think it's bad to let her know how much you weigh (but only if you want). Your mom has obvious issues about weight and because she is never happy with her weight, she can't imagine someone else being comfortable with theirs (especially if it's "more").

Stating that you are happy with your fitness and body right now is a nice way to show her a healthier way to think about weight. Because I know that when I stop going to the gym, I might not gain weight, but I lose posture and bounce and energy and muscle and look (and feel) like I weigh more. In fact I often gain weight (and bounce and energy etc.. when I go to the gym).

Since the "I'm shaped different from you" hasn't worked, there's probably not much you can do except beandip.  However, if she insists on getting into it again, you might point out that muscle is quite a bit denser than fat, so you are naturally going to weigh more than a person of the same pants size who doesn't exercise.

Given the history with the mother I would just not discuss it.  No need to argue any points.

She's just hung up on the particular number and doesn't realize that body type, height, and body composition play a big role in the number on the scale--that there's no weight that's a magical "fat" cutoff for every single body on the planet. Given that you say she yo-yos and that she's right under 150 herself, that's probably her own mental cutoff point beyond which she thinks she needs to lose weight, and she can't see past her own mental baggage.


--- Quote from: DottyG on February 20, 2013, 12:36:10 PM ---Agreeing with the others.  You don't have to answer "How much do you weigh?" by anyone.  It's your business alone.  Bean dip that question.

--- End quote ---

Agreed.  Unless you're being asked by a medical professional (when they have a legitimate reason to know), or you're going bungee jumping, there's no reason why you need to answer questions about your weight.

That isn't to say you can't choose to have a converstaion with someone about your weight and goals, but that's only if you choose to do so.


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