General Etiquette > All In A Day's Work

You must think poorly of my rel[color=black]ationship[/color]...

(1/9) > >>

Mental Magpie:
I love football but did not want to watch the Superbowl this year.  A married female (Sherrie) coworker with whom I have a budding friendship does not like football at all.  A single male (Jones) coworker with whom I have a budding friendship does not like football either.  Some of our other coworkers invited Jones to a Superbowl party but he had no interest in going.  Instead, he and Sherrie were going to go see a movie.  They invited me along and we had a great time.

It's the other coworkers who are a problem.  They keep calling Jones a homewrecker (they say they are just teasing him, but he really doesn't like it).  Sherrie and I are quite irritated as well because they're acting like it is some big scandal that a single male went to the movies with two taken females.  We continue to be friends despite them.

What I want to know is if it would be rude/effective of me to say, "You must think poorly of my relationship if you think me having a male friend is a threat to it"?  Sherrie and I were talking and we also decided that we owe them no explanation, especially because there is nothing to defend..  Unfortunately, not responding to their "jokes" doesn't stop them from making them.  Jones is really getting annoyed as well and wants the comments to stop.  One day, he and I were walking somewhere together and they called him back to major hub area.  He told me that they told him he couldn't walk with me because they wouldn't let him be a homewrecker...but they were just kidding, of course.  It's getting old.

Moray:


I think your proposed response would do more harm than good. First, it doesn't "flow" and would almost certainly sound very rehearsed (making you sound imperious at best, and nervous or ineffectual at worst); second, it seems to invite debate over the soundness of your relationship with Mental Fiance.

A better solution might be to address the comments made to you like the childish nonsense they are. "Hardee har har. Yeah, that's super funny, Tony." If the comments are directed at Jones, he needs to speak up and tell them to cut it out. They may or may not do so, but he'll have to take it from there.

JenJay:
They're messing with jones because it's working. When they called him back to the hub why did he go? He should have ignored them and kept walking.

I would say "I know you're joking, but the constant insinuations that I'm sleeping with coworkers is old and I want you to stop." If they didn't stop the next thing I'd say would be "You realize that continuing this 'joke' when you've been asked to stop is technically sexual harassment, right? I asked you to stop. I suggest you respect my request."

Yvaine:

--- Quote from: Moray on February 20, 2013, 06:00:49 PM ---

I think your proposed response would do more harm than good. First, it doesn't "flow" and would almost certainly sound very rehearsed (making you sound imperious at best, and nervous or ineffectual at worst); second, it seems to invite debate over the soundness of your relationship with Mental Fiance.

A better solution might be to address the comments made to you like the childish nonsense they are. "Hardee har har. Yeah, that's super funny, Tony." If the comments are directed at Jones, he needs to speak up and tell them to cut it out. They may or may not do so, but he'll have to take it from there.

--- End quote ---

Agreed. I've never known immature teasers to respond to a long earnest speech with anything other than more derision. Either laugh it off, roll your eyes, make fun of them for their stale joke, etc., or else tell them succinctly to cut it out and then ignore them. If they're harmless twits (which I think is likely), they'll find a new joke soon enough. In the event that they move into the realm of harassment (i.e. not stopping after being clearly told), there's probably a procedure at your workplace to deal with it.

NyaChan:
"Ugh guys, that joke wasn't funny the FIRST time you made it!"  Then change the subject.  I think that your proposed response gives a stupid joke way too much importance.  If they keep it going though, you might consider going to a supervisor.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version