Speaking of a kid and deli...

[cheyne]

Deli clerk was rude.  You do not ignore a customer no matter what their age.

When I was 12 I had my own money from mowing lawns and babysitting.  I bought whatever I wanted that I could afford.

My dad used to send me to buy his cigarettes with a note.  (Yes, Virginia, it was legal to do so at that time).

[misha412]

Deli worker rude. OP not rude.

I shopped for food alone quite often at age 12. I had some of my own money. Sometimes Mom asked me to run to the market for something.

[AylaM]

Deli worker should not have ignored your daughter.

I'm ok with her hesitating on fulfilling an order though.  Ideally once you gave the go-ahead that hesitation should have disappeared.  Unless she's trying to order something that doesn't seem quite right: like she's ordering like 6lbs of something. 

However, having been burned by the other side, I can see the clerk's reason for wanting to be sure.  Even if you'd given the ok.  In my experience, parents who are exasperated that they have to approve of everything are generally nicer than the one who are upset that their approval wasn't asked for.




My story:

Two grandparents brought their grandkids into the store and, in front of me, old them they could order whatever ice cream they wanted.  The kids did so while grandparents decided what they wanted.  They never left the kids' side.  When the ice cream was done the grandparents FREAKED.  Because the kid ordered a large, not a small.

Didn't I know "anything" didn't mean a large?  Why didn't I think to asked them if their grandkid could order a large? Who thinks kids can eat a large?  Didn't I know that it is my responsibility to ask their permission to give the children a large ice cream?  Don't I have any common sense?  What is wrong with me?

They yelled at me and then made me fetch my manager and complained to him.  It was embarrassing being torn to pieces like that. And though my manager didn't blame me at all, I was careful after that because for no other reason than to avoid the crazy.

Edit: because I read it and it looked odd.  Same idea, new words

[GraceSullivan]

And just to be really radical... what if this 12 year old HAD HER OWN MONEY?  What if she WALKED HERSELF TO THE STORE?
 She's 12, not five.  I was earning my own money babysitting at that age, and if I'd wanted to spend it on deli meat, whose business is it anyway?

PP is quite right - infantilizing children is a terrible epidemic in our society.

This is my thought exactly.  Heaven forbid we allow children some responsibility and don't hold their hand through every moment of every day life.  When we were kids (3 of us), we used to hit the grocery store and my mom would tell us what to get from her list; we'd split up into 4 separate search parties collecting different things.  Got us out of there a lot sooner.  Mine was almost always the deli, where I was buying a lot more than a 1/4 lb of meat (family of 5 all ate deli meat).

[m2kbug]

I can understand on some level if the deli lady wanted to verify with mom first, even though it seems sort of odd to me to have to do so at the grocery store.  But to ignore your daughter for so long was just plain rude.  Once permission was received, she should have just processed the order.  Kids here walk to the grocery store and Water n' Ice all the time to get some goodies and also to buy a few groceries.  What if you weren't there?  I guess she would have had to walk home or call home...there's really no reason not to process an order for kids at the grocery store.  If the kid goes and buys doughnuts with the milk money, that's up to the parents to deal with.  I really don't think it's the store's responsibility to monitor the kids' purchases. 

[Softly Spoken]

1) PODding everyone else.

2) The posts about responsibility at a young age reminded me of...I think it must have been a Sesame Street I saw when I was little (it's so funny the things we remember!). It was one of the cartoon interludes (i.e. not the people and muppets), wherein a little boy is sent to the store by his mom. He keeps repeating to himself "A loaf of bread, a stick of butter, and a gallon of milk." Or maybe it was cheese and not milk. I don't know, something like that. To be honest I only remember the bread and the butter - but in my defense it has been over 20 years lol! What I do remember is how impressed I was (as a child and still today) that he went to the store like a big boy and got to help his mom by bringing the food home... I don't know when we started moving away from teaching children that self-sufficency, but I am sure it will come back to bite us.

[m2kbug]

It was one of the cartoon interludes (i.e. not the people and muppets), wherein a little boy is sent to the store by his mom. He keeps repeating to himself "A loaf of bread, a stick of butter, and a gallon of milk." Or maybe it was cheese and not milk. I don't know, something like that.  To be honest I only remember the bread and the butter - but in my defense it has been over 20 years lol! What I do remember is how impressed I was (as a child and still today) that he went to the store like a big boy and got to help his mom by bringing the food home...

Me too!  I was also very impressed!  And I do believe it was bread, milk, butter.  At that age I also loved to watch the big kids get on the school bus.  Funny how "big kid" was a 1st grader.   

I don't know when we started moving away from teaching children that self-sufficency, but I am sure it will come back to bite us.

Safety is an issue here.  The world is a dangerous place.  Where I live, it would be too far of a walk for a child that age to go alone.  Now they're old enough I could easily send them for a few items, and it's great they learn self-sufficiency and get experience with money and the debit card, looking at prices.  I would be miffed if I got a call because the cashier wouldn't ring them up without parental supervision.   

[Micah]

I hate it when people ignore/speak down to children. My son doesn't so much have this problem in my home town because it's a very small place and every one knows him. Elsewhere though, oh boy. He's six and very independent, but he's also very small for his age (nothing medically wrong, he's just tiny. He has three year old friends the same size as he is). He's quite capable of buying small items for himself if I give him the correct change and he loves doing it and feeling like a 'grown up'. Many, many times he's stood at counters being completely ignored while he says, "excuse me," over and over. I step in eventually, but it's frustrating for both of us.

I've also had people block him from leaving shops to go to the car ahead of me and completely ignore him saying, "it's ok, Mum said I could." I had to literally bite my tongue when one woman physically grabbed him.

[StarFaerie]

1) PODding everyone else.

2) The posts about responsibility at a young age reminded me of...I think it must have been a Sesame Street I saw when I was little (it's so funny the things we remember!). It was one of the cartoon interludes (i.e. not the people and muppets), wherein a little boy is sent to the store by his mom. He keeps repeating to himself "A loaf of bread, a stick of butter, and a gallon of milk." Or maybe it was cheese and not milk. I don't know, something like that. To be honest I only remember the bread and the butter - but in my defense it has been over 20 years lol! What I do remember is how impressed I was (as a child and still today) that he went to the store like a big boy and got to help his mom by bringing the food home... I don't know when we started moving away from teaching children that self-sufficency, but I am sure it will come back to bite us.

I remember 2 of them and loved them both:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx6aRfYj1PI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im4GwUD1UY8

[Sophia]

1) PODding everyone else.

2) The posts about responsibility at a young age reminded me of...I think it must have been a Sesame Street I saw when I was little (it's so funny the things we remember!). It was one of the cartoon interludes (i.e. not the people and muppets), wherein a little boy is sent to the store by his mom. He keeps repeating to himself "A loaf of bread, a stick of butter, and a gallon of milk." Or maybe it was cheese and not milk. I don't know, something like that. To be honest I only remember the bread and the butter - but in my defense it has been over 20 years lol! What I do remember is how impressed I was (as a child and still today) that he went to the store like a big boy and got to help his mom by bringing the food home... I don't know when we started moving away from teaching children that self-sufficency, but I am sure it will come back to bite us.

Starting when I was 8.5 years old, every week I walked to the store to buy milk.  It was less than a block, and I didn't have to cross any busy streets.  It was at an old gas station, and then they widened the street and that station went away.  But, I thought it was pretty great.  This was far enough back that you took your rinsed out plastic milk jugs back to the store. 

There is a parenting idea out there called "free-range children".  It appeals to me.  But, I panic when DD is on the other side of the playset at the park.  So, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to do it. I have seriously considered getting a surveillance camera/necklace for her to wear.

[Jones]

1) PODding everyone else.

2) The posts about responsibility at a young age reminded me of...I think it must have been a Sesame Street I saw when I was little (it's so funny the things we remember!). It was one of the cartoon interludes (i.e. not the people and muppets), wherein a little boy is sent to the store by his mom. He keeps repeating to himself "A loaf of bread, a stick of butter, and a gallon of milk." Or maybe it was cheese and not milk. I don't know, something like that. To be honest I only remember the bread and the butter - but in my defense it has been over 20 years lol! What I do remember is how impressed I was (as a child and still today) that he went to the store like a big boy and got to help his mom by bringing the food home... I don't know when we started moving away from teaching children that self-sufficency, but I am sure it will come back to bite us.

Starting when I was 8.5 years old, every week I walked to the store to buy milk.  It was less than a block, and I didn't have to cross any busy streets.  It was at an old gas station, and then they widened the street and that station went away.  But, I thought it was pretty great.  This was far enough back that you took your rinsed out plastic milk jugs back to the store. 

There is a parenting idea out there called "free-range children".  It appeals to me.  But, I panic when DD is on the other side of the playset at the park.  So, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to do it. I have seriously considered getting a surveillance camera/necklace for her to wear.

Army style dogtags with their addresses and phone number  I got some for mine and, though they aren't actually free range, it helps my peace of mind in the grocery/park/festivals when we could possibly get separated.

[Softly Spoken]

I remember 2 of them and loved them both:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx6aRfYj1PI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im4GwUD1UY8

Eeeeeee! Yes! #2 The little girl. And it was bread, milk and butter. I can't believe I still remember it after all these years...

I also found this song that I think was one of the first I ever heard!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I00m5E2IOZQ (the baby in the car seat looks eerily like I did when I was little!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpReboLZFx8
...Okay back to topic...

PS: Jones that is an awesome idea. I think I remember having an ID bracelet when I was little - like a silver chain med bracelet but with my name and contact info (since I didn't have any allergies or anything it was just for ID purposes).

[Firecat]

I remember 2 of them and loved them both:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx6aRfYj1PI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im4GwUD1UY8

Eeeeeee! Yes! #2 The little girl. And it was bread, milk and butter. I can't believe I still remember it after all these years...

I also found this song that I think was one of the first I ever heard!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I00m5E2IOZQ (the baby in the car seat looks eerily like I did when I was little!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpReboLZFx8
...Okay back to topic...

PS: Jones that is an awesome idea. I think I remember having an ID bracelet when I was little - like a silver chain med bracelet but with my name and contact info (since I didn't have any allergies or anything it was just for ID purposes).

I've also heard of parents taking a Sharpie and writing their cell phone number on the kid's arm. Wears off after a few days, and gives enough information to allow a parent to be located without actually giving the child's full name and address.

[Softly Spoken]

*snip*
PS: Jones that is an awesome idea. I think I remember having an ID bracelet when I was little - like a silver chain med bracelet but with my name and contact info (since I didn't have any allergies or anything it was just for ID purposes).

I've also heard of parents taking a Sharpie and writing their cell phone number on the kid's arm. Wears off after a few days, and gives enough information to allow a parent to be located without actually giving the child's full name and address.

Sorry, mind goes to this kind of thing automatically so I have to ask: there would be no danger of ink toxicity, right? 

Not to mention the irony of a) all the emphasis on kids markers being washable coupled with b) parents usual insistence that kids not write on themselves.

[dawbs]

I remember 2 of them and loved them both:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx6aRfYj1PI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Im4GwUD1UY8

Eeeeeee! Yes! #2 The little girl. And it was bread, milk and butter. I can't believe I still remember it after all these years...

I also found this song that I think was one of the first I ever heard!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I00m5E2IOZQ (the baby in the car seat looks eerily like I did when I was little!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpReboLZFx8
...Okay back to topic...

PS: Jones that is an awesome idea. I think I remember having an ID bracelet when I was little - like a silver chain med bracelet but with my name and contact info (since I didn't have any allergies or anything it was just for ID purposes).

I've also heard of parents taking a Sharpie and writing their cell phone number on the kid's arm. Wears off after a few days, and gives enough information to allow a parent to be located without actually giving the child's full name and address.

They sell temp. tattoos for that....like this (there are other companies):
http://www.safetytat.com/